What the Heart Wants
by Fireboltpatronus21818
Summary: What if Lecter couldn't resist seeking out Clarice Starling, when he knew she was going after Jame Gumb? Alt. ending to Silence of the Lambs. M for sexual content. Two new chapters within a few days. Remember to read both ;) Complete!
1. Prologue

_**Disclaimer: Everything in here belongs to Thomas Harris**_

What the Heart Wants

Prologue

Clarice Starling knocked on the door. She'd finally found the house that old miss Lidman had lived in, and she was impatiently waiting for the new owner to show himself. She vaguely wondered why the frontlawn hadn't been moved as she knocked again. Actually, she thought, it seemed that the house wasn't at all that well kept. With hesitating steps, she walked around the house, stopping in front of the kitchen window. Her breath left moist on the window glass and she managed to wipe a small cirkel clean so she could look through it. Paying little mind to her sleeve that she'd never be able to get clean again, she peeked through the glass.

It was a very grey day and little light found its way into the house, but Clarice could still make out the scene in front of her. It was a very messy kitchen with dirty dishes clustering the table and old pots and pans that looked like they hadn't been cleaned since the day they'd been bought, but something was way off. The room was simply too messy; a broken chair could be seen laying by the door with one of its legs missing, the small kitchen table had been thrown across the room and the table surface was broken in two as if someone had landed on it. And someone had. A man was laying motionless between the two pieces of table and a few inches from his outstretched hand, was the missing chair leg. Clarice felt her mouth go dry as she noticed the blood.

With a swift movement, she drew her gun and starter moving. Her heart was racing, making her palms sweaty. She knew she was trembling by the time she reached the door. Take a deep breath Starling, she thought. A moments hesitation and she kicked the door open. Andrenaline was surging through her ears and she hardly noticed the silence that greeted her as she ran forward, gun outstretched in front of her. Her mind picked up the sewing equipment that clustered the room and with a growing feeling of dread, she entered the kitchen. Check your corner Starling... The words ran through her head as she did what she'd been taught without doubting the value of her lessons. She had to stop herself from yelling clear, as she knew no one would hear her. Eventually, her eyes fell on the body.

Clarice Starling knew fear. It followed her every day, but she also knew how to be brave. She knew that far too well, because to be brave, you first had to be afraid. Her eyes didn't waver as she took in the sight before her, but her mind was reeling.

The man laying on the floor was well built and blonde, but his face... His face was no longer human. Blood was seeping into the carpet from a gaping wound in his throat that exposed his tongue and his cheeks has been eaten off.

A fluttering sound could be heard as a butterfly flew into the room and landed on the man's nose which was somehow still intact. Clarice's lips parted in a small 'o', as she saw the little skull on the neck of the butterfly. Was this... Was this Jame Gumb? Or was this just a poor soul who had been unfortunate enough to cross his path? No, a small voice spoke in the back of her head, this is the work of someone else... Or was it something? There seemed to be different opinions on the matter. Clarice swallowed hard as she took another step into the room. This man had been eaten, and from the expression in his misting eyes, he'd been eaten alive.

"Doctor Lecter..."

Her voice carried through the room, but Clarice Starling never realised that she'd spoken them. Her feet carried her to a wooden door that had been left open, as if someone was inviting her to step through. It turned out to be the entrance to the basement. Her whole frame was trembling as she plunged into the darkness.

* * *

Doctor Hannibal Lecter could smell her before he could hear her. Well, he had heard her move through the rooms upstairs, but her smell was the first sign of life from her, since she fell silent at the sight of the body. A gush of wind came down the basement as she opened the door further than he'd left it and he had to close his eyes for a moment to savour her scent; musk, fear and a whiff of her perfume. The staircase creaked as she moved down and The Doctor held his breath as she passed him. Clarice was doing what she'd been taught, but he could easily fall in behind her and mask his steps with the sound of hers.

Clarice... He wanted to say her name, turn on the light or just touch her to alert her of his presence, but he knew she wouldn't hesitate to use the gun. Did she appreciate the gift he'd left her upstairs? He doubted it, but it had felt too good to regret it.

He slipped into the next room behind her, before she could close the door. She was completely blinded in the dark and didn't notice a thing. He would have to teach her to rely less on her eyes and more on her other senses. But it would have to wait.

"Doctor Lecter?"

Her voice felt like silk against his skin even though it was trembling so hard that it was a wonder that she didn't stutter. Before he could move forward and grab her gun, a voice answered in the darkness.

"Hello, is anyone there?"

Oh yes... He thought. Catherine Martin was still here...

"Catherine Martin?" Clarice spoke. "It's the FBI, you're safe!"

Really Clarice? Making promises you can't keep? You know I'm here... But no... She is safe, but you don't know that, do you now?

"Did you see anyone here? Was there a man?" It was unclear whether she was asking about Gumb or himself.

"There was someone else, he said... He said that _he _was dead..."

"Someone killed Jame Gumb?"

"Yes... But then he turned off the lights and stopped talking to me..."

Hannibal could see very well in the dark, and as he saw Clarice freeze on the spot, he couldn't help but smile. She knew now.

"Hello!" Catherine was yelling from the bottom of the well and Clarice turned her head, her eyes wide open.

"Shut up Catherine!" She hissed through her teeth. "He's still here!"

The senators daughter didn't shut up though and for the first time in a long time, Doctor Hannibal Lecter felt his heart jump for other reasons than murder. Silently, he slipped forward and stood right behind Clarice. Oh my, he thought as her scent enveloped him completely... Oh my indeed...

Without further thought, he hugged her close from behind, capturing her left arm against her body and knocked the gun out of her right hand as he spun her around to face him. The gun hit the floor with a loud noise. The girl in the pit kept yelling and so did Clarice as she struggled against him.

"Let go of me Doctor Lecter! Please!"

He didn't let go though. Her body was flush against his and he could feel the heat of her body through his thin t-shirt.

"No..." He whispered into her ear and lowered his nose to her neck. Her pulse was racing and he could feel it tickling his tongue as he licked the side of her throat. She stopped struggling.

"What... What are you doing?"

Clarice had gone completely stiff in his arms and he wasn't sure if it was from fear or curiosity. He leaned away from her and looked at her face. Her eyes were wide open and her lips slightly parted. It wasn't fear, he concluded with satisfaction.

Hannibal felt slightly flushed. He had taken a liberty with her that she hadn't invited him to. There was a slight hint of hesitation in his voice as he spoke.

"I apologize, Clarice..." He bent his head, leaving them nose to nose. "No bars or glass... I couldn't resist. You smell..."

"What?" Her voice was as firm as ever, but Hannibal knew better as he lowered his head to her frantic pulse. "I smell like what?"

"You smell like you, Clarice..." He vaguely noticed that his voice was hoarse. "Clarice Starling of the...F..." He flicked his tongue against her pulse again. "B..." another flick and her body softened against his. "I..."

It had been over eight years since he'd last had a woman and to his embarrassment, he could feel himself harden against her. Her breath caught in her throat and Hannibal immediately leaned away from her.

"I... I apologize miss. Starling..."

"That's quite all right Doctor..." Her accent was thick and her eyes wide open, trying to focus on his face in the darkness. Hannibal could hear the music in the background that he hadn't had time to turn off as he dealt with that annoying, yapping dog.

"No." He said, trying to hold her still without touching her with his body. He knew it wasn't working and that she could fight her way free, but she didn't. She was far too curious. It came to mind that she might be trying to stall him by pleasing him... But he rejected the notion. "It's not _all right..._"

"What are you going to do Doctor?" The quiver was evident in her voice, but he ignored it.

"Do you think that I'm going to _eat _you?"

"No! Not at all..."

"Don't lie to me Clarice, or I will know..." He could smell the lie off her. She was quite frightened of him and he wasn't sure if it pleased him. He liked it better when she spoke her mind without hesitating.

"You didn't when we made the offer..."

"Oh, but I did, Clarice, I did."

"But why...?" Her lips parted as her tongue swept over them.

"I wanted you to play a game with me and it works better when you think, you're in control."

"Oh.."

"Oh..." He repeated as he leaned closer again. "I really have to get going Clarice. Say hi to Jackie boy from me, will you?"

Hannibal released her and turned to leave, when he heard her voice behind him.

"But Doctor Lecter... Hannibal..."

He froze as she spoke his name and with a stiff movement, he turned around to watch her. She was fidgeting with the hem of her sleeve, her eyes looking into the darkness without an aim.

"Be quick, what is it Clarice?"

"I..." She took a step forward, lifting her arm to feel for him through the darkness. Catherine Martin had long gone quiet and it felt as if they were the only two in the room. "Come back..."

Her voice was a whisper in the air, but Hannibal heard it very well. His heart made an uncomfortable jump that he wasn't used to as he rushed forward, holding her close, his breath a whisper against her lips.

"Why Clarice, hmm?"

"Because I want you..."

He went still. There was only the faintest trace of a tremor in her voice and her heart was beating so fast that he could hear it. It could be fear, adrenaline or something else. He sniffed the air. Yes... It was there, and he felt it too. Arousal.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Her voice was completely unwavering.

With a swift movement, he lifted her up and walked her into another room. There was no reason for Catherine Martin to know about this. He might have to kill her then, and what a pity wouldn't that be. He'd just saved her after all.

There was a washing machine in the room and he sat her on top of it. The floor was far too filthy and he wouldn't touch it, even less, let her touch it. She spread her legs, allowing him to come closer, and he leaned in with a sigh. His member was hard and it felt uncomfortable against the tight jeans he'd taken off the tourist. Her hands wrapped around his neck, forcing his head down so his nose touched hers.

"Clarice..." He whispered her name as he pressed his lips against hers. They felt soft and wet against his and he had to stop himself from groaning. It had just been so long...

He pulled at the button on her pants and slipped them down to the floor. There wasn't time to undress completely, but he wanted to so badly... Instead he lowered his head to her cleavage as he unbuttoned the first three buttons on her shirt, allowing him access to her breasts without exposing them.

A real woman, he thought as he breathed in the smell of her breasts, not a fantasy... This was real...

He licked and kissed her skin and sucked at her nipples. He didn't dare nible, as he knew she'd associate it with something else. He heard her soft moan as he flicked his tongue over her nipples again and he lifted his head, catching her lips. So warm, so soft...

Her hands went to his pants, freeing him from the restraints. A low rumble of relief escaped his throat as the jeans were pulled down. He grabbed her around the waist and drew her closer. Even through both their underwear, he could feel her wetness as he rubbed himself against her. The smell of arousal was so strong that he groaned as he breathed in.

His head went down again, this time to taste her. He slipped her panties down and let his tongue touch the soft folds between her legs. Small sounds of contentment escaped her as he slipped in tongue in and out and flicked it over her clit. She tasted good, like he remembered women should taste, but every woman was unique and she left traces of salt on his tongue that he'd never experienced before. Before she tired though, he went for her lips again, letting her taste herself. She hesitated and Hannibal smiled into her mouth.

"I assure you that you taste perfectly well.."

She let his tongue slip past her lips and a small moan escaped her at the touch.

His member was throbing and he started feeling more and more uncomfortable. Before he could stop himself, he'd mumbled pleadingly into her ear.

"Please..."

Clarice understood exactly what he wanted, as her fingers found the rubber free underwear that they gave him at the asylum. Gently, she freed him, leaving him exposed to the cold air.

He groaned loudly as her hands went around the tip of his cock, working their way up and down. His eyes flew open and he removed them before she could end what they'd started far too soon.

She stilled as he held her hands away from him. He could feel the doubt entering her mind as her eyes cleared.

"You did nothing wrong, dear..." Hannibal released his grip and placed his hands on her ass, lifting her up and placing himself by her entrance. Her wetness felt cold against the tip of his dick, but he didn't move an inch.

"Ready?"

Clarice nodded. "yes.."

He entered her slowly, letting her adjust around him. She made a small sound in the back of her throat, while Hannibal lost his breath.

Oh my...

A small moan escaped him as he tried to breathe in. She noticed that he hadn't moved and her thumb rubbed against his neck gently as she patiently waited. She understood.

Slowly, he started. In and out in gentle movements, drawing out his entire length before slipping in again. She started moving against him and he went faster and faster till he suddenly halted, being swept over the edge far too soon. He groaned against her moist lips as his dick spasmed, filling her with his seed. He opened his maroon eyes slowly, taking in her flushed face before him.

He bit his lips as guilt started filling his mind. Doctor Hannibal Lecter never felt guilt and it sent him shivering as bile rose in his throat. He took of his t-shirt and started wiping her clean. It wouldn't do to let her colleagues find her with his semen dripping down her legs.

"I... I'm sorry miss Starling..."

"What...what for?"

"It's been a while and I ... I couldn't..."

"Wait... " Amusement seemed to enter her voice. "You're apologising for coming?"

"Well yes Clarice."

She smiled as she drew him closer and gave him a light kiss on the lips. He dropped the t-shirt to the floor as he held her close.

Hannibal spoke again. She didn't seem to understand and it left him slightly perplexed.

"I should have made you come, dear..."

Clarice leaned back in surprise, but whatever she was going to say never left her mouth as Hannibal held a finger to her lips. He strained his ears, searching for the sound that just made him pause. A low rumble... A car... His eyes went wide as he stepped back from her. He grabbed the t-shirt from the floor, ignoring the wetness and slipping on his underwear and pants as fast as he could.

"Get dressed..." He hissed through his teeth. Had she known this? There was more than one car coming towards the house and he needed to leave before they stopped at the front. Dread flooded him as ice cubes filled stomach. The engines were cut off. Why hadn't he heard anything before this? Surely those cars should have alerted him from a greater distance than this. Oh yes, he thought, Clarice had kept him busy.

Clarice was pulling up her pants as he turned to her. Despite the circumstances, he couldn't get himself to yell at her or blame her. She was sweet and she was soft and most importantly, she treated him like a human being. It had been a long time since anyone had done that.

He rushed forward and grabbed her, pressing his lips to hers and speaking as fast as he could.

"Did you know this, hmm? But don't worry, I know it wasn't an act. I won't tell on you dear Clarice, but you can tell them all you want about what happened down here and I'll always know the truth. You wanted me. You can tell them nothing or you can tell them I raped you, or you can tell them the truth. I will know. Now go save yourself and your petty ambitions little Starling. I will manage on my own."

One last kiss and he left her standing by the washing machine that had occupied them so only moments ago. There was as much pain in her eyes as there was in his heart, but most importantly, he saw the guilt. Sheer guilt.

He took the stairs three steps at a time and ran past the body of one Jame Gumb. Not the front door, a small voice whispered as he whirled on his heels and made his way to the door leading to the backyard.

It was overgrown, but he immediately spotted a hole in the bushes where he could slip through. Doctor Hannibal Lecter just never made it that far. Someone yelled behind him and as he ignored it, a shot was fired. A single shot and he went down. Everything went black as he screamed and screamed and screamed.

**A/N: I'm considering a sequel to this. Please tell me what you think. **

**I just got a new phone, and it had Word on it... so why not write something, hmm? ;)**

**This is something I have been thinking about for a while. I know Hannibal would never be stupid enough to go back, but he really thought he could just say hi and slip out... well, Clarice had other plans. **

**And why did he take himself time to do what he did with her? Well, biology is biology... men, right? pft!**

**Clarice on the other hand was really hard to write. She knew what she had to do to keep him there and she did it. Whether she admited to herself that she wanted it, is another thing. She knew Lecter would never tell on her, because he's too much of a gentleman, plus, he'd find it rather embarrassing to admit that the reason he was caught again, was because he felt like having sex... rather natural when you haven't done it for so long. She would never admit how she managed to stall him, but she did it, and that's the important thing to her.**

**I hope it wasn't too unbelievable...**

**So, sequel or not? I have it all planned out... just need to be motivated here ;)**

**Have a nice day!**


	2. Chapter 1

Sequel to What the Heart Wants

**Disclaimer: Everything in here belongs to Thomas Harris. **

**A/N: **

**This is the next installment to What the Heart Wants. I agree that some things (like Hannibal) are a bit OOC, but that just makes it more fun, or else we'd be writing the same story over and over again. Without our imaginations, we'd be like all those other poor dullards ;)**

**So enjoy this, though not very canon (I try to stay true), then very entertaining.**

**And sorry guys, but I'm afraid the sexual content is disappearing for a while. This story calls for character development which is a different kind of entertainment all together. **

**We will consider the first installment a prologue; a one shot that just called for more.**

**So lean back (or forward as we tend to do with computers) and watch the story unfold.**

Chapter One

Things hadn't exactly been peachy since Hannibal Lecter got back to the Asylum.

It seemed that the entire staff had agreed to punish him even though none of them had known the officers I Memphis. Even Barney was acting differently, as if he'd first realized now who Dr. Lecter really was. The orderly was quiet around Hannibal and had been so since Hannibal tried to talk with him on his first day back. He found it slightly amusing that the others were punishing him physically while the most intimidating of the orderlies was giving him the silent treatment. He would come around, of that Hannibal was sure. It had only been three weeks after all.

Well, the incident in Memphis was now two months ago, but Hannibal hadn't been allowed back for over a month, you see, he'd been shot and apparently being shot meant staying in the hospital. As a doctor, he knew that of course. He'd actually enjoyed it. After they removed the oxygen mask, he'd been required to wear his normal mask, but they couldn't put the straightjacket on him, since his stitches would break. He'd been cuffed to the bed instead, but he'd been able to look out through the barred windows... There had even been a tree...

There was nothing of that now. He'd healed up too fast for his own liking and they'd put him back behind the glass in the basement. He couldn't feel any pain in his shoulder or back, where the bullet had hit him and gone through. Some county officer had been lucky that day. It hadn't even been the FBI, who had been too far away. They'd sent the local police and one of those nights watchmen had decided to check the back of the building.

It was embarrassing... Really.

"Hello Barney" Hannibal spoke softly as the orderly came walking down the corridor with a small trolley that contained his supper.

Barney acknowledged him briefly by looking up and blinking twice, then he pulled out a tray from the trolley, placing it in the drawer and pushed it through. Hannibal looked at the food blankly. It was despicable really. It seemed that he was getting less than before he went away, and it wasn't even himself it bothered the most. He saw Barney bite his lip and hesitate in front of the glass. They were being watched of course. There was the camera in the hall that faced his cell and whatever microphone Dr. Chilton had managed to hide this week. It had never been a problem for them to talk before. The surveillance wasn't a new thing.

"Am I receiving visitors tonight, hmm, Barney?" Hannibal wanted to make him talk and playing on his guilt was the best way to proceed. "I did yesterday and the day before that. I assure you that they're quite professional when it comes to leaving the face. I could take my shirt off and show you exactly why I'm not standing up to greet you."

Barney's eyes went wide and his mouth fell open. It was exactly the reaction he was looking for and Hannibal felt the corners of his mouth tug into a smile.

"I apologize Barney... They're too afraid to come in here. I shouldn't insinuate such things..." He took a deep breath. "No, the glass keeps them out, but not their words, and definitely not their eyes."

It was true though. The guards came in at night to taunt him and look at him. They kept him up all night and when Dr. Chilton arrived in the morning, he would do the same. Talk and talk and talk, and when he didn't have time, he'd put forth the TV and turn the volume way up. No, Hannibal Lecter hadn't slept in a while and he hadn't been eating either and it was showing.

Barney was still standing by the glass frowning. Hannibal looked at the floor, hoping he would leave. It seemed they wouldn't be talking today either. Instead, Hannibal snapped his head up, as Barney spoke to him for the first time in a long time.

"You should call your lawyer... Or Agent Starling..."

Clarice... A ghost of a smile could be seen on his face. She was an agent now, he'd heard. No, it wouldn't do to call on her. Who knows what she'd told them. It definitely wasn't that he'd raped her, or else he would have heard about it, no. He couldn't contact her, before she contacted him. And his lawyer? An imbecile, truly.

He shook his head and glanced at Barney, before fixing his eyes on the floor. "I appreciate your concern Barney, but I will wait till I can no longer stand it. You will find that I can deal with most things on this earth and not be bothered with it."

"You're sleeping on the floor Doctor..."

Hannibal looked around the room. It was completely empty. No desk, chair or bed. It was no surprise that they'd taken the toilet seat as well.

"Not quite Barney." He looked down at what he was sitting on. "They left me my mattress..."

"It's not right Doctor Lecter..."

"Nothing is right in this world Barney..."

The dismissive tone in his voice made Barney step back.

"Enjoy your meal Doctor Lecter"

"Thank you Barney."

After Barney left, it didn't take long before the lights were turned off and to his surprise, no one bothered him that night, and when he saw Barney the next day, the orderly gave him a wink as the guards moved cautiously around the large man, doing his bidding at every step.

Hannibal smiled. He still had his friend and he would always look after him. He just had to say the words.

* * *

Clarice wasn't feeling too good.

Having to go to the doctor always made her uncomfortable. To her, it was a sign of weakness and ever since she'd been a little girl, she tried to avoid the doctor as much as possible. _Avoid the Doctor_. It sounded almost funny. It was his fault really, that she was sitting in the waiting room and feeling very nauseous. _His fault? _A small voice said in her head. _But who was it that called him back? _Me... She thought, I called him back. He was leaving, and she'd called out his name... And then he'd carried her to the laundry room like a young bride who'd never been touched before.

God! Why was she thinking about this now? She couldn't stop. Not one day had gone past without her mind landing on Doctor Hannibal Lecter. Sometimes it was the officers in Memphis, or Jame Gumb laying on the kitchen floor, she thought of, but mostly... Mostly it was his hands, his lips and his warm body.

_Get a grip Starling! Don't forget what he is! And most importantly, don't forget why you're here! _

But he's sweet and nice. He'd shown her more attention in those few minutes she'd spent with him than any other man before him.

_It was just because he wanted something from you; your pain, your anguish. You._

No. He wouldn't have done anything if she hadn't asked. And she did. He got caught because of her. She was soaked in his blood by the time the ambulance arrived. They had told her that he couldn't remember being conscious after being shot, but she remembered very clearly, as the image of herself holding him down as he screamed out in pain, passed through her mind. And now she was here at the doctor, feeling like a schoolgirl buying condoms for the first time.

_This is all your fault_, the voice spoke again.

"Clarice Starling?"

The receptionist called out her name, and Clarice jumped in her seat as she was ripped out of her musings. God... Why was this happening to her?

The doctor turned out to be a young woman. She felt rather relieved as she shook her hand and smiled shyly. It was a ridiculous thing, really, but Clarice preferred to be examined by a woman.

"I'm Doctor Creed, but you can just call me Victoria." Her voice was light and Clarice answered with a smile.

"Clarice Starling."

If the woman recognized her from the papers, she showed no sign of it as she gestured to the seat in front of her.

"Thank you..." Clarice mumbled, sitting down.

"Now, what can I help you with today Clarice?"

She glanced at the floor as she said the next words. Her cheeks were burning with embarrassment. God, she hated this.

"I haven't had my period for a while, and I'm afraid something might be wrong..."

"What kind of wrong?"

Clarice took a deep breath, biting her lip.

"STD wrong..."

"Yes, I need you to come over here and lay down." The woman motioned for her to follow and Clarice did as she was bid. "Please take off your pants and place your legs in these."

Zipper down and the pants with it. Clarice closed her eyes as the doctor inserted the cold tools. It felt really uncomfortable. Not in a painful way, just weird.

"There is nothing wrong, but it might not be showing yet. You can put your pants on again."

When Clarice was ready, she joined the doctor at her desk again. She was the picture of professionalism.

"Do you have any idea what disease we might be looking for?"

"Anything that might be transferred by blood or... Well, other fluids..."

"I see, I need you to go to the bathroom and pee in this cup. Then I want you to give it to me." She started explaining. "We will check for the most common diseases and reasons behind a delayed cycle. The first answers will be ready within ten minutes. If we're lucky we'll find the cause there, if not... We'll have to send it to be tested at the lab. They test for more serious diseases there, as HIV and syphilis."

"Yes, of course..." Clarice took the small plastic cup that was handed to her and rose to leave the room. She'd been prepared for this, knowing the procedure of these cases. Finding the bathroom was easy enough, but walking through the waiting room with the cup in her hand had been mortifying. What weren't people thinking? Clarice ran a hand through her hair as she locked the door. Her eyes landed on her face in the mirror. Her reflection seemed much calmer than she felt and as she watched herself bit her lip, she wondered for the tenth time what she was doing there.

She knew deep down that no STD could delay her menstrual cycle like this after only two months, but how else could she explain it?

_Doctor Lecter isn't sick... _

The words went through her head as they'd done this morning and the day before that. They checked him for that sort of things regularly. It was only protocol of course. There was no way for him to catch anything in the solitude of his cell. No. If he'd been sick it would have been in his file...

Oh fuck...

Clarice did as she'd been told, peeing in the cup and trying desperately not to think of reasons to why her cycle was delayed, why it would probably be a while before she had it again... Unless... There were always other options... No! Don't think along those lines Starling. You have no idea what the underlying problem might be. No one is saying that you're preg... Stop!

She grit her teeth, not even letting the notion speak itself in her mind. She put the cap on the cup and crossed the waiting room without paying any mind to the others, who were watching her curiously.

Doctor Creed had been waiting for her behind her desk with the same expression of kindness and patience that only created distance between people. Clarice was very grateful for it.

"Thank you Miss. Starling."

She took the cup out of her hand and told her to wait while she did the initial tests. It wouldn't be long, she said. Hah! Clarice felt a smile tug at the corner of her mouth as she was left alone. These were probably going to be the longest ten minutes of her life...

The room was lined with windows and she found herself walking towards them, glancing at the street beneath her. There was a park on the other side of the street and her thoughts turned to Hannibal Lecter as she watched the wind ripple through the leaves on the trees. She'd visited him at the hospital after he'd been shot, but she'd only been allowed to look through the window in the door. He'd been asleep they'd told her. Apparently he slept a lot in the first few weeks after his accident… _accident… _she could still see the gleeful face of the young police officer, who had luck enough to shoot Hannibal Lecter as he was running through the garden. Clarice had been right behind Hannibal as well, though she had no gun or any other means to apprehend him. She'd just run through the door to the garden when she heard the shot and saw him fall. There'd been a moment of silence as time stood still… was he dead? She remembered herself thinking. Then his fingers had twitched, his leg had jerked and he'd lifted his head with a scream.

A car honked and Clarice took a step back from the window; her memories disrupted. In their stead a lingering feeling of guilt and panic resided. Or was it something else? The tears had never fallen in front of the officers and the ambulance crew, but she remembered the sting behind her eyes. She remembered his eyes pleading at her to help him despite of them being clouded with pain.

"Miss. Starling?" Clarice turned to the door, where the young doctor stood. There was a light smile on her lips as she went back to her place behind her desk. "Please take a seat."

Clarice much preferred to stand. Her hands were shaking and her jaw was clenched so forcefully that she doubted she could speak right now if asked to. Despite this she found herself seated and looked up into the calm face of the doctor.

"We're sending the sample to be tested at the lab, though I assure you, it's only to be on the safe side." She started. "We found the problem immediately and it was pretty much what I expected. It seems you have a parasite Miss. Starling."

"A…a parasite?" Clarice's heart made a jump. It sounded bad.

" Yes, but it's not as bad as it seems. Many women learn to embrace this parasite. They name it, dress it up in tiny clothes, arrange playdates with other parasites…"

Wait… she thought. That didn't sound very much like a para… oh…

The sudden dawn of realization must have shown on her face, because the young doctor smiled and handed her a piece of paper.

"Congratulations…" She said as Clarice read the word _positive_ in big, black letters. "You're pregnant."

"No."

The word left her mouth before she could stop herself and the doctor glanced at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Excuse me…?"

"No…" Clarice could feel the lump in her throat grow and she swallowed hard.

"Are you okay Miss. Starling?"

She shook her head, trying to form the words with her mouth. "I.. I can't be.. I simply CAN'T!"

The doctor lowered her eyes to the table, finally sensing that something wasn't right. The angry tears in Clarice's eyes threatened to spill over. With a frantic movement, she dried her eyes on her sleeve.

"It isn't right… This wasn't supposed to happen…" Clarice looked up at the doctor, her eyes pleading. A thought had entered her mind and it was slowly taking root. "Can't I… Can't we _fix _it?"

"There _are_ certain medical or surgical procedures we could perform to terminate the pregnancy if that's what you want." The professionalism was back and her gaze didn't waver from Clarice's, who found herself nodding.

"Yes… please that would be…" The sentence was left hanging in the air. Somehow the word _nice, _didn't seem to fit at all and Clarice felt bile rise in her throat. She _had _been throwing up an awful lot lately.

"Yes." The doctor opened her drawer and withdrew a green pamphlet, sliding it over the table into Clarice's hand. "I want you to consider this. It's not a decision that should be taken lightly. Go home, rest. Read this and come back in a week. If you still want to proceed we'll take it from there and if you've changed your mind… that will be fine too. Miss. Starling you'll want to make an informed decision. You don't want to regret this later."

Clarice's eyes fell to the green pamphlet. On the front was the picture of a newborn baby. The front read; _Pregnancy; The Development of the Fetus, Abortion and Ethics._

"I'll see you in a week Miss. Starling."

Clarice clutched the pamphlet as she walked out of the building and found her car. Dropping it on the passenger seat, she rested her head on the steering wheel. It would be four days before she opened it.

**A/N:**

**Cookies to those who got the x-men reference.**

**And cake for those who can pinpoint the Doctor House quote ;)**

**Now, I'm not an expert on STDs(thank god -_-) and all that medical stuff and how long it takes to get the answers, but considering the home pregnancy tests, I figured that ten minutes wait for the answer to "Most common reasons for a delayed cycle", meaning pregnancy, wouldn't take that long. **

**The pamphlet about abortions and the paper with the words POSITIVE… yeah, purely fictional I suspect. Simply there for my purpose and intent. Somehow, I don't think a doctor should hand over pictures of newborns to a woman, who's considering an abortion… asshole… but I needed it for my story :/ **

**I hope this isn't too unbelievable. I know most Hannibal fanfics are variations of the events at the end of Hannibal… well, I liked Silence of the Lambs better, so my variation will play on that. **

**I hope I didn't scare you off or turn this in a direction that you can't or won't follow, but I like torturing my characters, I mean, Thomas Harris's characters…**

**Enjoy the show!**


	3. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Thomas Harris.**

**A/N: I'm slowly realizing that I'm not the best person at character development… I simply skip to the fun parts and forget all the quiet moments… I apologize.**

**I want to thank all those who have reviewed. You've been a great help and motivation :)**

**In my last chapter I had a reference to Victor Creed(mutant working for the brotherhood… Loooong story) by means of the doctor Victoria Creed. I hope you caught it ;)**

**And The House quotation was the part with parasites and dressing them up and calling them names. Out of place, I know, but hard to resist. **

**Things are moving along according to plan, that is, MY plan. Clarice and Hannibal have no say in their participation. I apologize for the things I'm putting them through. **

**Hannibal would say; Ta Ta, but I'll go with; Enjoy ;)**

Chapter Two

**The Present:**

"Clarice?"

A soft knocking on the bathroom door could be heard in the early, grey, morning hours, as Clarice Starling forced her head up from the toilet. She spit twice, clearing her mouth of the taste of vomit and glanced bleary eyed at the locked door. Ardelia's voice sounded again. "Are you okay in there?"

Was she okay? The thought barely registered as she got to her feet, carrying herself to the sink and grabbing her toothbrush. She could hardly look herself in the mirror, but out of the corner of her eyes, she noticed her ragged state. Her hair was a mess and the dark circles under her eyes were growing, giving her skin a greyish tint. She had hardly slept the last four nights.

"It's just a bug!" She called out, ensuring that Ardelia left her alone for a while. She'd call in sick, she thought. Her nausea had grown since she found out about her pregnancy and Clarice was starting to wonder, if her morning sickness was really caused by her state of body and not her state of mind.

"Girl, you better get well soon, because the BAU is on the phone!"

Clarice's head snapped up with rapt attention. _The BAU?_

"Is it Mr. Crawford?"

"Yeah, he says it's real urgent. I think something happened to Lecter…"

There was only mild curiosity in Ardelia's voice, but Clarice felt her stomach turn for the second time this morning. Dr. Lecter? A rush of panic went through her. He'd seemed in a bad shape at the hospital, but she'd assumed he'd gotten better when they'd told her that he'd been sent back to Baltimore. What if something had happened to him? She dried her mouth in the towel and opened the door to the bathroom, revealing a shocked Ardelia. Clarice walked past her, into the living room. Her friend's steps followed her and before she picked up the phone, she glanced back at Ardelia. Their eyes met and all she could see was worry and apprehension. Her friend was biting her lower lip, keeping back whatever she wanted to say. Ardelia's eyes were trailing her face, noticing the circles under her eyes, her hair and her ragged breath. Clarice looked away, picking up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Starling? Is that you?" Jack Crawford sounded as alert as usual, leaving no place for small talk. "Listen. They've got a situation up in Baltimore. I need you there as soon as possible, understood?"

"Yes sir." Clarice could feel her heart in her throat. "What's the situation sir?"

"It's Lecter. There's been an accident"

* * *

**The Night Before:**

Hannibal Lecter was staring into nothingness. Anyone walking by would see a man sitting on a mattress in an empty room with a vacant expression on his face. But Hannibal Lecter wasn't really there at all. His mind was somewhere else, saving him from feeling the slight, night chill that was creeping into the room despite the sunny, spring weather that had dominated the day. Shakespeare was today's theme and he was trying hard to remember Macbeth word for word. As per usual; he was succeeding.

As the lights turned off, his head snapped up and he was back in his cell. This would be the fourth night of undisturbed sleep and Hannibal was feeling much better. _All thanks to Barney, _he thought with a grateful smile. He rose to his feet with a graceful movement and started unbuttoning his jumpsuit. It was quite chilly when it dropped to his feet and he could step out of it. He folded it neatly and placed it on the floor at his side. He slipped under the thin blanket, wearing only his underwear and a white t-shirt. He could never dream about complaining about the cold, but Barney usually saw fit to give him a second blanket. Unfortunately it had been confiscated by Chilton. _Dr. Chilton, _he sneered in his mind, closing his eyes.

There should really be something more pleasant to think about than _Chilton_ before bedtime. Something _sweet _and _warm _and _Clarice…_

_Clarice…_ His Clarice and always his. She had been so soft and her breath had felt so good against his skin. Oh my… Her curves, her body and that stubborn expression on her face, how he wished he could make her smile. She had kissed him and been completely unafraid. Hannibal buried his face in his pillow. He'd tasted her and showed her that she was absolutely perfect. Her tongue against his and her breasts pressed against his chest. He turned around to lie on his back. Why did he do this to himself? He slipped a hand underneath his blanket and felt exactly how hard he'd become. Oh… he thought as he started feeling uncomfortable.

He glanced out of his cell at the camera that was pointing directly at him. The red light shone through the darkness. It didn't have night vision, right? He knew that the volume was down in the surveillance room, or he'd be able to hear it from here. There had never been an echo of Miggs's screams or tantrums. No. They couldn't hear a thing.

He folded his hand around the tip of his cock and a shiver went through him. He hated doing this in here. In the hospital, he'd been in too much pain and here he hadn't been given a moments privacy. His erection was starting to become painful and he contemplated what he should do. He'd had three nights without being bothered and it felt safe. No one would come.

His eyes went to the red light at the camera and with a sigh he turned his back to it, facing the wall as he lied on his side. He'd done it before during his time in here of course, or else he _would_ have gone insane. He knew the others did it all the time and the smells and sounds only bothered him at night, when he had the opportunity to do the same but felt degraded at the notion. The first few weeks of his incarceration, he'd refused to do it. It was below his dignity to let anyone hear or see him. After a while, he'd grown comfortable with his surroundings and the guards' routines and he'd finally given in.

Sometimes it simply became too painful to let it be.

He started slowly, easing into it. He hid his face in the pillow, trying to stifle any sounds he might make. His motions became faster as his hand went up and down his length, squeezing slightly every time he reached the top. He closed his eyes and suddenly he was back in the cellar with Clarice and only a slight twinge of guilt consumed him as he drew her closer; soft and warm. She was smiling this time. Smiling into his mouth as he kissed her, smiling as she lowered her head to his lower parts and smiling as she drew him close, letting him enter her. _Oh… this is… mmm…._

Hannibal's eyes flew open as the warm fluids flowed and covered his hand. He stilled and took a ragged breath. A moment went by in complete silence as his pulse got back to its normal level. He opened his eyes slowly, removing the blanket, glancing down at the mess he'd made. With a sigh, he got to his feet and went to the sink. Hannibal knew that he wouldn't be able to sleep if he was sticky. He'd learned that a long time ago.

He turned on the water and that was when he heard their footsteps. The water was freezing cold, not having had time to turn on the warm tap. He winced as he washed himself off.

"Hey you!"

Hannibal closed his eyes as the lights were flicked on.

"Yo Cannbal!" It was the same guard that had bothered him a few days ago. This time though, Hannibal could hear a small slur in his voice. He sniffed the air. Yes, he had been drinking. His eyes opened slowly as they adjusted to the light.

"Good evening gentlemen…" Hannibal breathed. The guard wasn't alone, he knew. The sour smell of his partner filled his nose. The silent one. The dangerous one. He was the one with the riffle.

"Don't gentleman us, you queer!" The first guard sneered. Timothy, wasn't it? Yes, and Jeremy. Tim and Jerry. How he despised them. "Turn around so we can see your cock! We know what you were doing…"

Hannibal ignored the snigger. Had he been any other man, his face would have been red and he would have been yelling at them. But he didn't His pulse was calm and his eyes were clear. He took the towel at his side and dried himself off, slipping his underwear into place so fast that Timothy couldn't complain.

He spun on his heels and faced them. It was as he'd guessed; Timothy by the glass and Jeremy at his side with his riffle. Hannibal knew that tonight, _he_ wasn't the insane one.

"I told you to show us your cock!" Timothy sneered, walking closer to the glass. "We heard you _moan_ so we came to watch… I guess you don't have anything to show, huh? Embarrassed by the size, are you?"

What had he been doing earlier today, Hannibal tried to remember. He'd been reciting Shakespeare, wasn't it? Yes… Macbeth. He'd been nearly finished too but…

"Answer me you fucking queer!" Timothy spluttered as Hannibal remained quiet. "Strip…"

How did Macbeth start? Three witches…. Hannibal's head snapped up as he heard the sound of keys. Timothy's facial expression was one he knew far too well… and one which he usually only saw on himself. Jerry was calm, his lips twitching into a smile. The glass slid aside and Jerry walked into the room, pointing the rifle at Hannibal. Then came Timothy.

"Strip, I said." Timothy stood only three steps away and the smell of alcohol on his breath was overwhelming. Hannibal glanced at Jerry who was aiming the riffle at his chest. If he went for Timothy, he'd never make it to Jerry. "Strip!"

Losing the t-shirt was easy. That didn't bother him. It fell to the floor and he could feel the cold air against his skin.

"Strip…" Timothy leaned in closer and Hannibal glanced at the riffle. His thumb went to the hem of his underwear and he eased them down. They landed on the floor and he stepped out of them. He stared stiffly into the air, seeing the riffle in the corner of his eye and waiting for Jerry to become lazy. All he had to do was walk closer and Hannibal could grab it.

But he didn't…

"Be glad I'm not as queer as you…" Timothy stayed out of reach. Not that Hannibal could have done anything if he came closer. "Did you ever see Deliverance? That's from before they put you in here, I believe. _Squeeel like a pig! _Remember that part? Be glad I'm not a queer… though you'd probably love it."

Hannibal knew exactly what he was talking about, having read the book and found it very interesting. Both Timothy and Jeremy were smiling cruelly now, as Hannibal tried not to show what he was thinking. They wouldn't, would they? No, they were just trying to show him exactly how much power they had over him. They would soon realize they were wrong though. _He _was the one in control.

"Get on your knees." He did as he was bid, but he didn't see the next part coming. He would have expected a punch, but this was so much more painful. Timothy kicked through the air, catching him in the side and he fell to the ground with a hollow thumb. He grit his teeth as the next kick landed.

Macbeth, he thought. Where was I? There is no time to figure that out now! Just start over!

_When shall we three meet again?  
In thunder, lightning, or in rain?_

_When the hurlyburly's done,_

_When the battle's lost and won._

_That will be ere the set of sun._

_Where the place?_

_Upon the heath._

_There to meet with Macbeth._

_I come, Graymalkin!  
_

_Paddock calls._

_Anon._

_Fair is foul, and foul is fair:_

_Hover through the fog and filthy air._

Hannibal was breathing raggedly as the last punch landed on his jaw, but not a sound had escaped him. He couldn't smell the alcohol anymore as his nose was filled with blood. Timothy drew back; washing his hands at the sink, as Hannibal lied still, trying to swallow any sound of discomfort that threatened to spill over his lips.

"Take his clothes…"

Jerry's voice was low but Hannibal heard it very well and he now knew with certainty whose idea this had been. Jerry was the brain behind this... or was he? These two boys didn't intend to keep their job. They'd been hired to do just this. Was this Chilton's idea? Somehow he doubted it… no, this was someone else. Someone with the money to hire a psychopath and a sociopath and pay them for the rest of their lives, as they'd surely never be hired anywhere again.

His eyes dropped slowly as Timothy picked up his clothes and walked out of his cell, locking the door behind Jerry. No, these two boys weren't working for Chilton. This was the work of a monster.

As they left him alone, Hannibal lifted himself off the cold, stone floor and crawled to his mattress. He drew the blanket around himself, leaning against the wall, too afraid to lie on his side and put pressure on his ribs. Morning would come soon, or so he hoped.

* * *

**Early Morning: **

Barney came in quite early that day. It was 6 am when he parked his car at the Asylum and the sun was barely up yet, filling the air with different shades of grey. He nodded and smiled as he passed the night guards, who he'd had a little talk with a few days ago. Dr. Lecter had been looking better and better, day for day, since then. The guards didn't acknowledge him as they took their things and left for the day, leaving him in charge. He waited half an hour for his partner to show up. He was always late, but Barney could hardly blame him. The man had as many kids as Barney had pairs of shoes, which was counting both summer and winter shoes. When his partner arrived, Barney noticed the stain of chocolate milk on his white shirt and he chuckled at the sight. Kids…

It was time for the morning routine. Barney checked his pocket for pens and other sharp objects, before he pushed the button that allowed him access to hallway lined with cells. His partner took the tranquilizer riffle and they walked down the hall, checking each cell and counting the occupants. Everything looked fine, that was, until they reached the last cell.

"Dr. Lecter?"

Barney breathed through his mouth as he took in the sight before him. Dr. Lecter had propped himself up against the wall, his blanket over his shoulders and covering most him. Barney noticed his legs were bare under the blanket that only reached his knees. Dr. Lecter always dressed himself in his jumpsuit before they came this far… His chin rested on his chest that was moving up and down in a labored pattern.

"Dr. Lecter?"

Barney tried again. This time, Dr. Lecter lifted his head slowly, blinking twice at Barney, who took a step back. Oh God… Barney turned to his partner.

"Jim, call the guys upstairs we need to transfer Dr. Lecter to the med wing."

Jim's eyes were wide as he took in Dr. Lecter's swollen face but he nodded quickly and went down the hall as fast as he could. Barney kneeled in front of the glass.

"Dr. Lecter, can you hear me?"

He got a small nod in return and Barney was relieved to see his eyes clear up and become as sharp as always.

"Barney…" It wasn't a question as Dr. Lecter breathed his name slowly. The big orderly waited patiently for his friend to speak. "Could you… could you get me some clothes, please?"

"Yes…" Barney hadn't contemplated that Dr. Lecter might be naked underneath the blanket, but the severity of the situation started settling in. "Yes, of course Dr. Lecter."

Barney hurried down the hall with his heart in his throat. This was bad. This was _so _bad. Underwear, t-shirt, jumpsuit and… was he wearing socks? Barney couldn't remember. His shoes had been in the corner… He better bring some anyway. Down the hall, put the clothes in the drawer and push it through. Dr. Lecter had somehow managed to get up. He was leaning heavily against the glass, trying to compose himself. His eyes were closed and his mouth was in a thin line. Barney couldn't go in there without Jim and the tranquilizer and he stepped away from the glass with a bad taste in his mouth. He couldn't leave Dr. Lecter alone like this.

"Please turn around Barney…" Dr. Lecter had reached the drawer and picked up the underwear. Barney bit his lip but did as he was told. He heard the sound of the blanket sliding down and a small groan from Dr. Lecter. Barney squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn't turn around. There was nothing he could do. As Jim came hurrying back with the guys from the upper floor in tow, Barney lifted his hand, signaling that they should hold back.

"Are you dressed Dr. Lecter?" Barney said it loudly, so the others could understand why he asked them to wait.

"Just a minute Barney…"

That was when the heavy thumb of a body hitting the floor could be heard.

* * *

**The Present:**

Clarice was in Baltimore within the hour and that was despite taking her time to comb her hair and get properly dressed. Had she been any other citizen, she would have received several speed tickets that day. She went through her instructions in her head and tapped the steering wheel as she pulled into the parking lot.

As she walked into the building, she noticed that the staff seemed more confused today than normally. She spotted Barney down the hall and walked briskly towards him.

"Agent Starling…" His face broke into a smile and Clarice felt her heart jump in relief. It couldn't be that bad then,

"Barney, hey." Clarice eyes scanned the hallway. "Is Dr. Chilton in yet?"

"No, it's his day off and we haven't been able to contact him…"

"Oh… ok, good…" Clarice felt slightly out of breath and her nausea was coming back. Barney was watching her with kind eyes.

"He's in here…" He gestured at the closed door. "I watched the security tape… we'll send you a copy."

"What happened?" She asked.

"Mr. Crawford didn't tell you?"

"Not really… He told me Dr. Lecter had been beaten by his guards during the night and that's it. I was told to come down here as quickly as possible to… to show our support." Those words hadn't exactly been Jack Crawford's phrasing. No. He'd told her to go to Baltimore and be friendly with Dr. Lecter. To make sure that he knew that the FBI was on his side in this. In other words; Clarice had to pretend to be his best friend to ensure further communication between him and the BAU.

"They didn't just beat him Agent Starling." Barney hesitated, taking a step away from the door, leading her down the hall. He stopped a few doors away from where Dr. Lecter was staying. "They made him strip and then they threatened to rape him. _Then _they beat him. It was… it was cruel… degrading."

Clarice felt tears threatening to spill and she took a deep breath. It was just hormones.

"He didn't fight them?" Her voice sounded strained even to her ears.

"No, they had a riffle pointed at him the whole time. He didn't say a word to them. Not even when he was kicked in the head."

She was quiet for a moment, trying to hold herself still as the lump in her throat grew to the size of an apple. She could see him screaming after he'd been shot and the silence Barney was describing sounded foreign to her ears, even though she'd heard of his famous periods of quietness. She felt a heavy hand land on her shoulder and she glanced up tentatively at Barney. The big orderly patted her shoulder.

"Would you like to see him now? Or do you need a moment?"

"I… just take me in, please."

Barney let her to the room, opening the door for her. She sent him the biggest smile she could muster as she passed him, but it fooled nobody. He nodded towards the bed and left her in there alone, closing the door behind him. Clarice glanced around the room. It was very light in here. There was a huge window, though barred on the outside and as she looked at the bed, she noticed how Dr. Lecter had his face turned towards it. His eyes were closed and his breath was even. She took another step into the room, walking towards the chair by his head. He was lying on his back and his arms were stretched out to his sides and cuffed to the side guards. He looked like he was comfortable enough, though she noticed how his blanket had been drawn up to his chin, concealing the heavy bandages underneath. Dr. Lecter stirred, blinking a few times and slowly turning his head to look at her. She noticed how his nostrils flared and if she'd looked more closely she would have seen his pupils dilate. He opened his mouth and then closed it again.

"Dr. Lecter?" She knew he was aware of her as he closed his eyes at the sound of her voice. "Can I sit down, please?"

He gave a small nod and she moved forward, seating herself by his side. It was first now that she realized that he wasn't wearing his mask. He opened his eyes and she stared into his maroon orbs. They were bloodshot and his cheekbones were sporting all sorts of colors. His lip was swollen and one of his eyebrows was split. His mouth opened slowly.

"You still call me Dr. Lecter…" He spoke softly despite his hoarse voice and Clarice had to strain her ears to hear his words. She bit her lip and cast her eyes to the floor. "No one can hear us speak in here. You may call me Hannibal… if you so wish."

"Hannibal…" Clarice's voice broke as she spoke his name. The lump in her throat prevented her from uttering another word and a tear escaped the corner of her eye. She'd called him Hannibal before; in the basement. The memory was pressed to the forefront of her mind. He'd seemed so strong then, but the man lying on the bed seemed different somehow; just as stubborn and cold as always but vulnerable at the same time. A vulnerability she knew had been completely reserved for her. She choked as a sob escaped her and she heard the handcuffs rattle as Dr. Lecter made an involuntary movement towards her.

"Clarice?" The urgency in his voice was unmistakable. Clarice felt her cheeks heat as she realized that he wasn't just curious but genuinely concerned. "Why are you crying Clarice?"

"It's just…" There were so many things she wanted to tell him. That she'd thrown up this morning. _Why _she had thrown up this morning. Her hand went to her tummy before she could stop herself and she hid the movement by hugging herself. She was talking to _him, _Doctor Hannibal Lecter, who she hadn't seen since she had been forced to let go of his hand as the ambulance crew lifted him onto the stretcher. Fuck. What did she tell him? "I'm just glad you're okay…"

"Thank you Clarice…" She wasn't sure if he believed her, but he tried to smile. It quickly dropped though as she saw the pain in his eyes. He couldn't even s_mile _anymore. "You look worse than me Clarice."

She snorted with laughter and dried her eyes on her sleeve.

"Why Clarice?"

"Why what?" She asked.

"Why do you look so tired?"

She looked away.

"Aren't the FBI treating you well?"

"It's fine…" It was true though. So far it had been just as she imagined. A few drug busts and a surveillance gig. Jack was pushing his superiors to get her assigned to the BAU. It would happen soon, she was sure.

"Hmm…" the Doctor turned his head away from her, looking at the ceiling. "Is it the lambs?"

The question left her speechless. The lambs hadn't been bothering her lately. Actually, she couldn't remember the last time she'd dreamt of them. Everything had just been so hectic lately… The Doctor turned his head back to her.

"It's not them is it?"

She shook her head.

"Is it me?"

Clarice's head snapped up and she met his strong gaze holding her still.

"It's always you Doctor…"

"Are you afraid of me?"

She watched his unmasked face and his still form in the hospital bed. She reached out her hand and hesitated for a moment. Her hand hovered in the air beside his and she stretched out her fingertip until she touched him. Slowly she curled her hand around his, holding it.

"No." She said quietly, looking up at him. He was smiling. Despite his obvious pain, there was a light in his eyes that she hadn't seen since they talked about him eating his victims instead of collecting trophies. The comparison should have unsettled her, but it didn't.

"Tell me…" He said. "What did you say to them… about us, in the basement?"

"Nothing… I said we talked. I said that I kept you there by talking."

"They must have been impressed."

She shrugged her shoulder, licking her lips.

"Do you blame me?" She asked, not looking him in the eye. "Do you blame me for being caught?"

"No…" He whispered as he cleared his throat, wincing at the effort. "I blame myself. You just… It was my fault really…"

"Your fault?" Her stomach churned. She wasn't sure she wanted to hear the answer, but she wasn't prepared at all for what he said.

"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen Clarice."

She stopped breathing for a moment and her mouth closed shut. Plenty of men had told her that before, but not like this. Not while lying in a hospital bed, broken and holding her hand and telling her that he went back to prison because he thought she was _beautiful. _

"I…" He started. She could hear the pain in his voice. "I should have been more like a gentleman and told you that I would come back for you someday… but I didn't… You are so beautiful that I could only think about kissing you."

He turned away his head and Clarice noticed a single tear fall down his cheek. He was looking out the window now, trying to hide his face, but she could see him very well.

"I disgraced you Clarice and I'm sorry."

She gave his hand a light squeeze and his head turned back to her. The tear was gone, but its trail could be seen reflecting the moist in the sunlight from the window.

"It was my choice too…" She said.

"I know… and that makes me happy Clarice. It makes me happy that you chose me."

Chose him? The thought had never occurred to her. She'd thought about it as a line of action. The act and not the man and it had made her feel so bad. Did it make it better that she'd chosen a cannibalistic serial killer and not made a choice to prostitute herself for the government? She wasn't sure. She regarded his hand clasped around hers, his thin lips that were smiling painfully at her and his maroon eyes filled with sadness. The man and not the act? He moved his thumb over her pale hand and her heart gave the same jump as it had done in Memphis. Was she… was she in love with him?

Her lips parted with a sharp intake of breath and her eyes went wide. Dr. Lecter's smile faltered as he looked away.

"Why are you here? Hmm? Clarice?"

"Jack Crawford sent me…"

"Ah yes, Jackie boy…" There was a sneer in his voice that was hardly noticeable. Clarice wondered if she was starting to be able to read him. "Are you reporting back to him, hmm?"

"I… this is not an official meeting between the FBI and yourself Dr. Lecter." She breathed through her nose as she slipped into her role as Agent Starling. "I'm here as a private person, though I've only obtained permission to visit with the intent of keeping the Bureau and yourself on friendly terms. We wish to continue our communications with you in the event that another situation arises that should require your services."

"I see." His voice was completely neutral as he looked out of the window. "Will you visit again Clarice?"

"I expect so…"

"You expect to or you want to? Be truthful now, Clarice."

"I want to…"

Dr. Lecter's grip tightened around her hand as his head turned. She saw his lips part and his nostrils flare. His eyes searched her face, leaving her felling naked as the day she was born.

"I wish I could kiss you Clarice…"

Her heart jumped, making her swallow hard. She'd kissed him in the basement. She remembered his soft lips and how he'd moaned against her like he'd forgotten the feel of a woman, which, when she thought about it, was all very probable. But it seemed different here in the Asylum. The last time a woman had leaned over him here, she'd gotten her face eaten off. Slowly she untangled her hand from his and rose to her feet. She wore an expression of pain as she turned to the door. Something made her look back. Dr. Lecter was laying still, his eyes fixed on hers. His eyebrows were knit in rejection and hurt. She took a step back to him and then another. This would probably be the last time they'd be left alone again. It would probably be the last time that Doctor Hannibal Lecter was alone with a woman unsupervised. He didn't move as she stroke the side of his face that was now a deep shade of purple. His eyebrows relaxed, leaving his face clear of emotion; only calm curiosity resided.

She glanced back at the door before placing a hand firmly on his cheek. If he tried anything she'd be able to push him back. He accepted that without a word, waiting for her. She leaned down and placed a soft kiss on his lips. It was very short but she didn't dare anything else. When she leaned away, she noticed that his eyes were closed.

"Good bye Do… Hannibal. Good bye Hannibal." She whispered into his ear.

She didn't see his eyes flicker open as she left the room and she didn't hear his hoarse voice whisper her name in return.

* * *

"_You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen Clarice."_

Doctor Lecter's words ran through her head as she seated herself in her car. No one had paid her any mind as she left the Asylum and Barney had just nodded at her with a smile when she walked past him. He'd been standing outside their room the whole time, waiting for her to call out for him if she was in trouble. She bit her lip as she wondered how much he'd been able to hear.

"_You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen Clarice."_

The words made her blush and not in embarrassment. She tried to force away the butterflies that were filling her stomach. Was she in love with him? The question made her head hurt but her heart beat faster. Fuck…

She was just about to put the keys in the ignition when she noticed the green pamphlet on the passenger seat. Clarice picked it up before she could stop herself, reading the title; _Pregnancy; The Development of the Fetus, Abortion and Ethics._

Her hand went to her tummy as she looked out the front window at the Asylum. She could see Doctor Lecter's maroon eyes before her, and she remembered his thin lips that were actually really soft and his strong hands that had made her feel safe even though there was nothing to be afraid of. The Asylum was a big looming building and she felt kind of bad for him. He'd never leave the place and he would never touch another human being with his hands.

She rubbed her tummy absentmindedly. He could never have a normal life, but she could. Clarice could be normal. The butterflies in her stomach were making her uncomfortable as she opened the pamphlet. She was somewhere between her eighth and ninth week, and she quickly scanned to that part of the fetus's development. _Most joints are formed now. _She read. It could move and flex its fingers around objects…

She felt a lump forming in her throat, as she threw the pamphlet back on the passenger seat. She leaned against the steering wheel, taking a deep breath. Fingerprints. They were talking about a fucking fetus with fingerprints! Clarice felt the tears press on as she sobbed into her hands. It was a fucking baby she was talking about! Not some scientific petri dish experiment. It wasn't just any baby, it was _her _baby. Sure, the father might not be Prince Charming, but that hardly mattered, did it? He would never see the child or know anything. It would be hers, just hers.

And what if it was a monster, just like its father? No! That wasn't hereditary. This baby was a Starling, not a Lecter! It was _her _baby and she wouldn't let anything like a little DNA get in the way. She dried her eyes and gritted her teeth.

It was just as much her baby as it was his, and if she raised it and provided for it, it would be all hers. She would give it everything and more. It didn't matter who the father was. He would never see the baby. Never.

A small twinge of guilt formed in her stomach as she remembered the sadness in his eyes. Would it make him happy to know he had a child? Probably… or it would just cause him more pain… Clarice put the key in the ignition.

No, it just wouldn't do. Doctor Hannibal Lecter could never know and that was the final decision.

**A/N:**

**Wow… I'm sick and I had nothing better to do… this is a pretty impressive chapter for me, length wise that is.**

**So… what are your thoughts? Do you **_**really **_**think Clarice's arguments to keep the baby were all that right and thought through on her part? Or did she forget the butterflies that so occupied her stomach?**

**I actually wanted to make Clarice consider adoption. Her line of thoughts would have been; does Hannibal Lecter's child deserve to live? Yes, but would she raise it? No. But I wrote this and didn't remember anything about my adoption plans before I went to bed… so this was the natural thing to do apparently. I could have changed it, but more denial just seems so… well, she is an intelligent woman after all. I opted for denial in her arguments to keep the child instead. **

**Toying with them and seeing their pain is **_**fuuuun, **_**hmm?**

**I hope you liked it. **

**Deliverance is a very good movie from 1972, but if you have issues with, eh, yeah, I don't want to spoil things, but just be prepared for the worst. It's based on a book, and I suspect Hannibal is not the big movie goer, but he'd definitely read the book. The author is called James Dickey. The movie was selected to be preserved by the National Film Registry (USA) in 2008, which also chose to preserve the Silence of the Lambs. Both movies were chosen for their aesthetic value**.

**I want to thank Gladwags for some information that will be greatly needed in the future :) Thanks!**

**Firebolt.**


	4. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: All characters in here belong to Thomas Harris.**

**This is going to be a quiet chapter :) They deserve a break, don't they?**

Chapter Three

When Dr. Chilton finally decided to pick up his phone and find out what all the fuzz was about, most of the day had already passed and Hannibal Lecter was sleeping when his psychiatrist arrived at the Asylum. He was slipping into a nightmare when he heard the shouting,

"ARE YOU MAD!" Dr. Chilton's voice broke through the haze that clouded his mind. "Get that mask on him. NOW!"

Hannibal blinked as he felt someone press the mask over his face and he tried to focus on the face above him. It took a moment, but by the time Barney lifted his head to secure the straps, Hannibal had already recognized his big form.

"Barney..?"

"I'm sorry Dr. Lecter." The big orderly mouthed. "Dr. Chilton has arrived."

Barney gestured to the door and Hannibal followed his gaze. It was quite right. Dr. Chilton was standing there with fumes coming out his ears as he growled at the orderly called Jim.

"I want to see that tape, now!" Jim went running down the hall at those words, and Hannibal could sense what would happen next. "Barney, stand outside…"

Hannibal saw his friend frown but do as he was bid, leaving Hannibal Lecter alone with Dr. Chilton. The door closed behind him and Hannibal watched in silence as Dr. Chilton looked down at him with contempt.

"What did you do now, Lecter?" Chilton leaned down, his nose nearly touching his mask. Hannibal wanted to turn his head away from his mint breath, but he forced himself to stare straight into his eyes. Chilton sighed and sat on the chair beside him without an invitation. "You have five broken ribs; three on you left side and two on your right side. You have severe bruising covering most of your chest, upper thighs and you face. On top of that you have a split eyebrow. Now, tell me Hannibal, was it worth it?"

Hannibal wondered vaguely if Chilton would have asked him the same question if he'd seen the tape first. He was assuming that Hannibal had provoked the guards somehow, and even if he'd watched the tape, Hannibal thought, he'd probably blame him anyway.

"What did you say to them Hannibal? I'll know in a minute anyway, but I'd like to hear how your twisted mind perceives this." Chilton poked him in the side, sending a flash of pain through Hannibal's nerve system and he swallowed hard to stop himself from hissing. He saw the satisfied look on Chilton's face. Someone knocked on the door and Chilton told him to come in. It was Jim.

"I have the tape sir…" Jim was smaller than Barney but he gave off the same intimidating aura with his burly frame and dark skin.

"Good, now go fetch a TV…" Chilton drawled. "I want Hannibal to see why he should do as his guards tell him to do."

"Sir…" Barney stuck his head into the room as Jim left. "I don't think it would be a…."

"You don't think what, Barney?" Chilton cut him off. "Go stand outside like I told you to, or I'll have you fired for incompetence."

Barney sent Hannibal an apologetic look. He tried to give him a smile, but had to nod in return, as he remembered that he was wearing his mask. Jim wheeled in the TV from one of the rooms down the hall, and Chilton rose to put in the tape. Hannibal looked out of the window as the tape started playing. He could see the top of a tree, but it was starting to get dark outside and not a single bird flew by. Hannibal felt a hand on his chin, forcing him to look at Chilton.

"Watch the tape…" Chilton leaned back in his chair with a smile and Hannibal turned his eyes to the small screen. He could hardly see anything as he was still lying down and his feet were in the way, but he could still hear it. The screen was dark, showing nothing, and for a while everything was quiet, until he heard his own breathing grow faster. He heard a groan and then the sound of his feet hitting the floor. The water turned on and then the light. It was as if someone had turned the screen on, and Hannibal turned his head away, opting to watch Chilton, who was watching it transfixed. Despite his own suffering, Hannibal could feel the glee creeping into his mind, as Chilton's face changed. The smile dropped as the events unfolded; it turned to doubt and disgust, until it settled on something akin to shame.

Hannibal watched with fascination as Chilton turned off the tape as the guards left the picture. The foolish psychiatrist's chest was moving up and down as he breathed in, trying to control his emotions. He wasn't succeeding very well. Chilton turned his head to Hannibal and their eyes met. There was pity in them and Hannibal did _not_ want pity. It made him sick. He wanted to be feared and respected. He could feel his lips turn into a cruel smile and Chilton snapped his head away. _Goood._

"Is something amusing you Hannibal?"

"Just you Dr. Chilton." Hannibal kept smiling as Chilton rose from his chair with pure anger on his face and stormed out of the room. Hannibal's smile grew wider. As long as he could get a rise out of Chilton while he was lying in the med wing… _well, everything is fine then, is it not?_

"One day you'll give him a heart attack…" Barney said as he wheeled in the food cart.

"That would be a pity…" Hannibal smirked. "He's just my taste."

The big orderly tried to contain a smile but failed miserably. Hannibal watched him as he placed the tray with food on the table. He worked in silence, adjusting the bed so Hannibal sat upright and carefully propping a pillow behind his back. Hannibal had to snap for air as his ribs protested against his new seated position. Barney frowned but didn't say a word. He wheeled the table over, so the food was right under his nose.

"We eh…" Barney started. "We're going to remove your mask and your right handcuff so you can eat, but we'll be watching you and we'll have the tranquilizer gun as well. Okay?"

"Quite understandable Barney." Hannibal said politely. "At least you're not feeding me…"

"No Dr. Lecter." Barney chuckled. "Dr. Chilton did suggest it. Jim and I talked him out of it."

"Oh, what did you say?"

Barney stopped smiling and avoided his eyes. "It was nothing personal Dr. Lecter…"

"Well, what did you say Barney?"

"Well… we suggested that you might… that you might take a bite out of us if we got near you while you were eating…"

Hannibal's face broke into a smile as he snorted in laughter. It hurt more than he'd anticipated and his smile became a mask of pain until he managed to get himself under control. Barney looked positively relieved.

"I assure you that I'd never do that to you Barney, but if you keep feeding me this… whatever it is, I just might…" Hannibal smirked at the look of uncertainty on Barney's face at his words and added. "I'm joking Barney… I've heard that it's healthy."

"Oh…" The big orderly replied, chuckling halfheartedly.

"Now Barney, where's my dinner, you _do _know how I get when I'm hungry…"

* * *

"Clarice Starling!"

Her name was called out by the receptionist and Clarice took her time getting up. It had been three days since she'd visited the Asylum to see Dr. Lecter and it had been precisely a week since she'd last been to the doctor's. A week ago she had planned to go in there and say that she wanted an abortion. Three days ago, she'd changed her mind. Clarice placed her arm protectively around her stomach as she crossed the room. The doctor was sitting behind her desk.

"Hello Dr. Creed." Clarice greeted, entering the room.

"Miss Starling." She smiled, putting her at ease. "Please have a seat."

"Thank you."

Clarice did as she'd been told and glanced nervously at the doctor, who was watching her from across the desk. Nothing in the room had changed since last time and Clarice forced herself to concentrate on the situation.

"Have you had enough time to think about your situation Miss. Starling? I'm afraid there is a timeframe on how long…"

"I changed my mind!" Clarice blurted out, cutting off Dr. Creed's voice. The doctor took it very well and smiled her first genuine smile that day. "I… I want to have the baby…"

"Oh, that's wonderful news Miss. Starling." Clarice found herself smiling widely at the doctor's words. Yes, it was wonderful. Actually, she couldn't imagine why she had considered anything else. It felt weird to think about it. She, _Clarice Starling, _was going to be a mother. It wasn't as if she'd never considered it, but it had just seemed so… farfetched somehow. Dr. Creed continued talking. "What made you change your mind?"

"I had a talk with someone…"

"The father?"

Clarice looked at the ground. Her heart had started racing at the moment her mind landed on him.

"Yes." She said. "But I didn't tell him. He's not… he's not _in a position_ to be a father."

Clarice glanced up and saw the pity in her eyes.

"He must be something special then, if you want to have his baby even though he can't help out."

_His baby? _No, the doctor had it all wrong. It was _her _baby, but Clarice just smiled and nodded.

"Now, you need to find a doctor who will follow you all the way through your pregnancy and, if available, even deliver the baby. Unless you have someone in mind; I can do that."

"I'd like that, thank you." Clarice didn't really care about who her doctor was, but she guessed that in this way she didn't have to go searching for one.

"Good, now I want to see you here at least once a month. We'll check the baby's heart rhythm and its growth. Here's my private number in case anything should happen or if you have questions." Dr. Creed slipped a card over her desk. Clarice pocketed it without looking at it. "I have a list of books you might want to read and the name of an excellent prenatal vitamin. It's very important that you refrain from drinking alcohol, do drugs and if you smoke, you should consider quitting as well. That includes being near people while they smoke, understood?"

"Yes, understood." Clarice already knew those things, but she didn't say anything as the doctor handed her a list with books and other necessities. By that time, Clarice was more than ready to leave the room and she was relieved when she was dismissed with the words that she had to return next month for a checkup.

Her car was parked under a tree on the outskirts of the parking lot. The May sun was shining and it felt like summer. Clarice got into her car and started driving down the road. The green pamphlet was still on the passenger seat but it no longer bothered her at all. Clarice could see her own reflection in the side mirror and she noted that she looked much better. The dark circles under her eyes were gone and her hair had got its shine back. It was amazing how much three nights of undisturbed sleep could do to you. She was five minutes from her home when an idea occurred to her. Her eyes had been trailing the shops on the street when she saw the baby articles in one of the windows. She pulled into the nearest free parking space and glanced around nervously as she stepped out of the car. What if someone saw her? There were plenty of people on the street, but she didn't see anyone who seemed familiar. And if she did see anyone… there was nothing illegal in walking into a baby shop…

The shop was filled from floor to ceiling with all kinds of things. There were baby carriages, books, clothes, toys and shelf after shelf dedicated to teddy bears in all shapes and colors. Clarice smiled shyly at the plumb woman behind the counter and went for the books. There were more of them than she'd imagined, but as she picked out three she recognized from Dr. Creed's list and felt compelled to buy even more, she started to understand why. There was one on baby names that really caught her interest and she put it in the pile she'd collected. She scanned the shelf and smiled as she picked out a thin, black book; _Pregnancy and Superstitions. _

_Superstitions, really Clarice? _The Doctor's voice sounded in her head and her heart beat faster. He wouldn't like her reading something as ridiculous as that, and she bit her lip.

_Yes, really Doctor. _The book went in the pile and she tried to stifle a laugh, failing miserably. The woman behind the counter just shook her head and returned to a book she was reading, while Clarice hurried down the aisle to the baby clothes. There were tiny shoes and socks, jumpsuits, dresses, jeans and shirts. She probably shouldn't buy any of those things yet, but her eyes landed on a dark, blue jumpsuit that reminded her of the Doctor's. It had buttons on the front, just like his, and had the exact same shade of blue, though it was made of a softer material. She hesitated. It was for boys, really, but Clarice knew that if she had a girl, she'd probably wear boys' clothes anyway. She touched the material lightly and put it on top of the books.

Before she went to the counter though, she stopped by the teddy bears. There were all sorts and she noticed the old fashioned ones in brown. She'd had one of those as a child, but it must have been lost when her father died.

_It would be quite nice, wouldn't it Clarice? _Clarice frowned. It would be just the sort of thing the Doctor would buy; a traditional toy for a well-mannered kid. She searched the shelves and her eyes landed on a green bear. It had big, plastic eyes and a pink nose. It was quite sweet, really, and much cheaper that the traditional ones. It was very soft compared to the others. This was a teddy bear that the baby could actually use and probably ruin without causing her much distress. She took it, ignoring the Doctor's voice. _This is quite childish Clarice…_

Yeah, right, she thought as she went to the counter. The woman smiled and helped her as Clarice nearly dropped the books.

"Never mind, dear." She said, smiling. "I see you've bought the basic books, did you just find out?"

Clarice, who'd actually planned to say that it was for someone else, found her cheeks burning. "Umm, yes, how did you guess?"

"The books are all on the list that you get at the doctor's."

"Oh, yeah."

"When are you due?"

Wait… when _was _she due? She had no idea. Why hadn't Dr. Creed said anything about it? Clarice tried to calculate in her head and managed to answer before her silence became too embarrassing.

"By the end of October…" Clarice found herself smiling.

"Still a long time then, now."

"Yeah…" Clarice said, handing over enough cash to cover the price.

"Thank you. Have nice day sweetie."

The plumb woman handed Clarice a bag filled with books and the green teddy bear sticking up the top. With a smile she left the shop. The weather was still quite good and she wondered if Dr. Lecter was looking out his window in this moment. Yes, he probably was. Distaste filled her mouth as she remembered that she had to go to work tomorrow. Jack Crawford had requested that she worked with the BAU a few hours a month. This meant that she had to watch the security tape of Dr. Lecter's assault and visit him in a few weeks. She was getting paid for it and she had to write a rapport to Mr. Crawford on her progress with Dr. Lecter. It made her feel bad. It was as if she was spying on him somehow, but she didn't complain. As long as she didn't have to add the details of their conversations in her rapport, she was fine. In this way she could keep an eye on him. She wondered if there had been any signs of the guards' intentions.

Probably, but Dr. Lecter would never complain, at least not to anyone who could do anything about it. Maybe Barney had known something was amiss… Clarice sighed as she opened the car, dropping her bag on the passenger seat. She would make sure nothing like that ever happened again. That was a promise.

* * *

"Do you need a hand Dr. Lecter?"

Barney's voice came through the bathroom door where Hannibal was currently trying cross the room to the sink. Everything had gone smoothly until he had to walk by himself unsupported. He gritted his teeth and took the three steps, nearly collapsing in pain as he reached the sink. His ribs were throbbing and his eyes stung with the effort.

"I'm fine!" He yelled through the door. He knew there were at least three orderlies out there and it embarrassed him. He couldn't even go to the bathroom in privacy. He was used to it though and he glanced at himself in the mirror as he washed his hands. It didn't look very pretty. Bruises covered most of his face and he could see where Timothy's boot had hit him above his eyebrow, splitting it. He dried his hands and touched it tentatively. His skin was far too sensitive and it sent a stick of pain through his body. He put the towel under the cold water and pressed it to his face gently. It felt good and he closed his eyes for a moment. With a deep breath, he reminded himself of the men outside.

"Give me a minute Barney…" Hannibal supported himself on the wall as he went back to the toilet, where he had left his mask. He'd hung it beside the toilet paper and he picked it up, placing it back on his face, securing the straps. "Coming…"

He pushed the door open slowly. The room was bright with the sunlight streaming in from the window, and he stopped for a moment, letting his eyes adjust. Jim was standing with the tranquilizer gun and Barney had a pair of handcuffs ready. A third orderly was on the other side of the bed, holding another pair of handcuffs.

"Now, walk to the bed slowly and lie down. Hold your hands out to the side bars so we can secure you with the handcuffs, understood Dr. Lecter?" Barney said with his calm voice.

"Yes, quite so Barney."

He took the three steps to the bed, holding his breath as his ribs complained loudly. He sat on the bed slowly, swinging his legs over. He exhaled his breath with a controlled motion as he lay down. He could feel the third orderly cuffing his hands to the side bar as quickly as possible. It wasn't very gently. Barney took his time though and Hannibal felt quite grateful when he ordered the others to leave the room.

"Do you have everything you need Dr. Lecter?"

"Yes Barney, quite, but would you mind staying for a while? I do get bored…" Hannibal sent his most charming smile and Barney nodded in return.

"Of course Dr. Lecter."

"Take a seat Barney." The orderly did as he was told. "Now tell me, how much did you hear of my conversation with Agent Starling the other day?"

Barney's mouth fell open and Hannibal noticed his pupils dilate. The big orderly shifted his gaze away from him.

"It was a private conversation Dr. Lecter. I wouldn't know."

"Oh, but you do. I'm sure it wasn't your intention to eavesdrop, but you had to stay close. I know you're not allowed to leave her out of earshot." Hannibal felt his lips curl into a smile as Barney shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

"Well, I guess I couldn't avoid hearing some…"

"Good Barney. That's the _truth…" _Hannibal contemplated what to do. He knew Barney didn't want to seem like he'd done something bad. It was only his job after all, but Hannibal really needed to know exactly what Barney had thought went on between them. "Tell me, what did you hear?"

"Well…. You said she was beautiful and that you… that you could only think about kissing her."

"Before that?" Hannibal held his pulse down. "What did you hear before that?"

"I was talking with Jim for a while…I didn't hear anything. But when she left… when you were silent, did she kiss you?" He was speaking the truth. Hannibal wasn't sure what he should do. Was Barney required to report it, if he said yes? Probably. He remained silent instead. Even if Barney didn't have to report it, it still wasn't right that he told him.

"Do you love her?" Barney asked instead, taking his silence for a yes.

"They say I can't feel love." Hannibal said as a matter of fact.

"But what do _you _think Dr. Lecter?"

Hannibal blinked twice. Clarice had once asked him to take a look at himself, and he'd done so, plenty of times. "I feel love Barney. I feel love just as strongly as any other man. I remember being in love for the first time as a young boy, but I also know that my love doesn't go to just anybody. I can love someone Barney… but I can't feel compassion for a stranger. Do you understand?"

"I think so…."

"It means that I could never kill you or eat you Barney, that is, unless you forced me to do it."

Barney frowned and looked away. Hannibal knew he had made him uncomfortable, as he watched his friend squirm under his gaze.

"Thank you Dr. Lecter." Barney rose from his seat. "I have to go…" He mumbled something about dinner and left the room.

_Did I say something wrong?_

**A/N:**

**This was a quiet chapter. **

**I introduced my version of Dr. Chilton. He's just as much an asshole as all ways, but I wanted him to seem more human. Chilton is not a psychopath and _should_ feel uncomfortable watching the tape. **

**I liked writing Clarice's scene in the shop. She did the exact opposite of what she thought Lecter might do, but at the same time she bought the blue jumpsuit. That was sweet :D**

**I don't really like Dr. Creed that much… I just can't put my finger on her. **

**BTW, I'm not sure when I'll be able to update again. These few chapters have come pretty quick because I took a break from studying. I have an exam soon and should really hit the books :S After that I have little over a week before I go to Spain for a month without internet access. I'll have plenty of time to write but little opportunity to upload it :( **

**If there's pressure on, I might be able to borrow a computer somewhere or find an internet café... **

**Please tell me what you think. I like to hear your thoughts :) **

**Firebolt**


	5. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: All characters in here belong to Thomas Harris.**

**Passed my movie history exam, and as promised, here's the next chapter :) **

**Enjoy!**

Chapter Four

Ardelia lifted the grocery bags out of the car and closed the door with her foot as she kicked out behind her. It was early and the sun was still trying to penetrate the grey, morning mist, leaving the air cold and moist. Dew soaked her shoes as she walked across the grass to the duplex and her breath could be seen as mist in the air despite the time of the year. Clarice was probably still sleeping, she thought, as she opened the door quietly, walking into the hallway. Her best friend hadn't been feeling very well lately and when Ardelia came home last night to find Clarice bawling her eyes out after watching a commercial, she'd offered to do the day's chores. They'd stayed up and talked till midnight, eating ice cream and watching a rerun of old shows.

She placed the bags on the kitchen table and started unloading them. Clarice _had _been pretty upset last night, Ardelia mused. A few days previously, she'd visited the asylum, where Hannibal Lecter stayed, to see his injuries, and apparently it still bothered her. Ardelia did think it was a bit weird that she'd be upset about something like that, but maybe it was just the shock of seeing someone in that state… She opened the fridge and started filling it up. Ardelia was worried about her. First of all, it seemed that Clarice had something flu-like and now she was upset about a commercial about lambs and toilet paper…

Ardelia shook her head and filled the ice cream into the small freezer. She heard the door behind her open and she turned her head to see a smiling Clarice walk out. She was already fully dressed and her hair was tied into a ponytail.

"Morning." Ardelia greeted as her friend walked up to the table, taking the nearest grocery bag to look through it.

"Where's the pie?" She sounded well rested and Ardelia rolled her eyes at the question.

"No pie…"

"Bastards!" Clarice sounded genuinely upset as she sat down, glaring at the tabletop.

"There are plenty of other things in the fridge." Ardelia found a bowl and filled it up with the most colorful kind of cereal she'd been able to find in the shop. Clarice rose and opened the fridge. It only took a split second, and Ardelia didn't have time to react at all as Clarice whirled away from the fridge and bent over the sink, emptying her stomach. Ardelia's spoon fell from her hand as she got to her feet.

"God, girl…" She patted her friend on the back, looking away as Clarice spit and turned on the water. There were tears streaming down her face. Ardelia tried not to breathe in but she found herself gagging silently as the smell overwhelmed her. God she hated puke…

"Sorry…" Clarice mumbled and Ardelia felt her throat tighten. She had nothing to apologize for.

"Nah, that's okay girl." She placed a hand on her friends shoulder. "You okay there?"

Clarice nodded silently, drying her mouth with the back of her hand. "Just a sec.." She mumbled as she hurried out of the room, leaving Ardelia alone in the kitchen. She could hear the water run in Clarice's bathroom and she looked back at her cereal. It didn't look very appetizing anymore. It had gone all soft and mushy too…

When Clarice came back into the kitchen again, Ardelia was throwing out the content of the bowl that had formerly contained her breakfast. Her friend was silent as she seated herself by the table, avoiding the fridge and picking up a piece of fruit from the bowl.

"Are you still sick?"

Clarice shrugged her shoulder, avoiding her eyes. Ardelia sat down opposite her and raised an eyebrow. An intake of breath told her that Clarice was preparing to speak and she waited patiently.

"I'm just not feeling very well lately Delia." Clarice had her eyes on an apple that she was polishing with her sleeve. "Don't ask me why."

"Oh…" Ardelia didn't believe her one bit, but when Clarice was in this mood, there was nothing that could shake her out of it. It was like this when she talked about her childhood. She would completely withdraw from the conversation, though, through the years, Ardelia had been able to piece enough together to get a clear picture of her best friend's life. "Are you going to work today?"

A small smile formed on Clarice's lips as she nodded. "Crawford requested that I come in today." She made a face of distaste. "They want me to look through the tape with Dr. Lecter and the guards…"

"Sounds like Crawford is opening doors for you." Ardelia winked.

"Yeah, I wish that was the case." Clarice shook her head, biting her lip guiltily. "If Dr. Lecter hadn't been hurt, I wouldn't even be talking to Crawford right now…"

Ardelia lowered her eyes. She felt bad about what had happened, but then again… it _was_ Hannibal Lecter… That guy had done a lot of horrible things and she shouldn't really be feeling bad about the guy's misfortune, but she did… He was a person after all. It must have hurt…

An awkward silence settled on the room and Clarice squirmed in her seat. Ardelia glanced at her nails. They really did need some attention. She lifted her head as she heard her friend rise from her chair. Clarice picked up her jacket where she'd left it yesterday and gave her a small smile.

"I should get going…"

"Yeah, sure." Ardelia mumbled. "Have a good day…"

Clarice just shrugged as she walked out of the front door, slamming it behind her. Ardelia breathed out in relief. She loved Clarice. She really did, but sometimes that girl was just plain weird. She sighed and glanced at her watch. She had a few hours before she needed to be at work, and she better tidy the place up. She went through the few rooms they had in their small apartment, picking up stuff from the floor. They were both pretty messy and she soon collected two piles of stuff; hers and Clarice's. She threw her pile into her own room and gathered Clarice's in her arms. She managed to open Clarice's door with her elbow and walked into her room. She threw her things on her bed with a grunt. Ardelia was just about to leave when something caught her eye. A small book was lying on the bedside table and without meaning to, she read the title that was written with bold letters on the front page; _What to Expect When You're Expecting._

_What to… _Ardelia's mouth fell open as her mind started going into overdrive. Before she knew it, she'd picked up the book and flipped through it. _What to Expect When… _Oh God… Oh God. Ardelia's eyes went wide.

Now _that _explained everything.

* * *

Clarice was feeling much better, when she finally arrived at the BAU. It was a whole department in itself within the FBI, but with only a few employees, their office space was much smaller than any of the other departments. She smiled kindly at a young man, who was seated behind one of the desks and he gave her a wink in return. Clarice turned right and found herself in front of the department head's office door. _Crawford's _door. She knocked twice and heard his low voice call her in.

Crawford looked just as grim as always, but his eyes lit up at the sight of her and she smiled shyly.

"Good to see you here Starling."  
"You too sir." She said as she sat down in the chair he'd gestured to.

"I understand that your visit to Lecter went well?"

"Yes, he was happy to see me there." Clarice bit her lip as her heart skipped a beat at the mention of his name.

"Aha, and how was he?" Crawford was tapping in fingers on the surface of his desk, but he didn't seem impatient at all. Clarice kept her eyes on his face as she recalled the extent of Dr. Lecter's injuries. She didn't want any emotions to show on her face, but she could feel a lump in her throat that hadn't been there before. Stupid hormones…

"He was in a great deal of pain. He had several broken ribs and severe bruising on most of his torso and face."

Crawford nodded silently and stopped tapping his fingers as he cleared his throat.

"I'm glad you were available on such short notice. We acted as soon as we received the call from the asylum, but I was worried that we might arrive too late to gain his sympathies. But he seemed genuinely grateful at you presence?"

"Yes."

"Good…" Crawford smiled. "As I've mentioned before, we'd like to have you as our contact person to Lecter. Don't worry. You only have to see him once every few weeks or if we get a case. You'll get access to all his files and whatever information we have on him. Now, I've called you in here today, because we'd like you to see the security tape. I haven't watched it myself, so I will be joining you." He rose from his chair and waved at her. Clarice followed as quickly as she could. They walked back into the office space that was now occupied by two more. They glanced up from their desks briefly before returning to their paperwork. The young man, from before, ducked his head as she caught him staring. These people were going to be her colleagues one day and she'd always imagined them to be something….more. An Asian guy with short hair was flipping through file after file and the only woman in the room was staring intensely at pictures. Frankly… they seemed very normal.

Crawford led her into a small adjoining room with a big screen. Six chairs were placed in a row, and she guessed that the whole unit could fit in there if need be. The tape was already in the machine and he turned on the screen. They sat down side by side and Clarice couldn't help but raise an eyebrow as the black screen stared back at them. She was just about to say that something wasn't right, when low murmurs could be heard from the TV. No… that wasn't voices. Someone was breathing and as a low groan could be heard, her face went beet red. Was that Dr. Lecter's tape? It sounded like he was… well, it was none of her business anyway. Crawford shifted in his chair beside her and crossed his arms across his chest. Clarice bit her lip. This wasn't awkward at all.

The lights were turned on in the tape, and they could see Dr. Lecter with his back to them by the sink. The water was running and it looked like he was washing his hands… no… Clarice averted her eyes as her former thoughts were confirmed. He wasn't washing his hands but something else entirely and she felt her cheeks grow warm.

What happened afterwards was… It was horrible. The warmth left her face as soon as the guards came into view and she saw the riffle. They entered the cell and Dr. Lecter remained completely still as they talked, that was, until he was forced to take off his shirt, leaving him in his underwear. Then they went to the floor as well.

Clarice couldn't breathe as she saw Dr. Lecter fall to the floor naked. Her heart was beating against her ribcage painfully and the lump in her throat was growing larger by the second. She saw Dr. Lecter crumble together on the floor, holding his arms over his head protectively. Clarice glanced to her left. Crawford was watching the tape with a grim expression on his face, but his eyes didn't waver even for one moment. She couldn't show any emotions at this and she snapped for air as the tears sprung to her eyes. _Calm… stoic… _You can do this Starling. One breath at a time and the lump slowly disappeared, her heart stilled to its normal rhythm and her head cleared as oxygen found its way to her brain.

Good Starling, good.

She bit her lip, focusing on the screen. The guards were standing still now and she saw one of them pick up Dr. Lecter clothes. A few seconds later they left the cell and Clarice watched transfixed as Dr. Lecter tried to move from his spot on the floor. Her heart picked up speed again and she turned her head away as Dr. Lecter crawled across the floor to his mattress. His cell looked so empty.

"Well…" Crawford cleared his throat and turned off the TV. "I wasn't entirely convinced when they told me that it had been unprovoked… I guess it was…"

"What happened with the guards?" Clarice tried to sound normal, but she thought that she sounded a bit hoarse.

"They're awaiting trial."

"Are they talking?"

"Not a word." Crawford glanced at her. "I don't think they did it on their own initiative…"

Clarice snapped her head up, meeting his calm eyes. "What do you mean sir?"

"They have the same lawyer. An _expensive _one. I checked their finances and they shouldn't be able to pay that guy. I'm thinking that someone else is doing it. I have an idea of whom, but I have no proof…"

"Who..?

Crawford shook his head. "I'm sorry Clarice. It wouldn't be fair of me to throw that kind of accusations in the air. Let's just say Lecter has an enemy with the financial resources to pull a stunt like this."

Clarice nodded, averting his eyes. She had an idea of whom he was talking about but she didn't dare say it out loud.

"I'd like you to visit him again tomorrow. I know it's a lot to ask, but we really need to find out if there is anything he hasn't told us. Besides, you should probably be the one to tell him that we're looking into this and looking for the highest punishment possible for the guards, understood?"

"Yes sir." Clarice felt her heart flutter. She was seeing him again tomorrow. Get a grip Starling! It's wrong; you shouldn't be feeling like this. It's only hormones, she told herself. It's only because of the baby. He'd given it to her and that was the only reason she was feeling like this. He was a psychopath. Dr. Lecter was only trying to charm her because she amused him. Nothing more. He probably knew exactly how he made her feel with his kind words and courteous behavior. It amused him. The only reason she was falling for his act was because he'd given her the baby. It was completely normal, nesting behavior on her part. She had to fight the butterflies in her stomach, because Hannibal Lecter would never be part of her nest.

She smiled as Crawford patted her shoulder.

"Good Starling." He gave her an awkward smile. "If you want to back out, you just say so."

"He doesn't scare me sir." Clarice said. "He's locked up. There's nothing he can do to me."

"That's the spirit Starling."

* * *

It was much later that day, when the birds could no longer be heard and the streetlamps were the only things illuminating the dark city that Clarice Starling could be seen curled up on her couch with a piece of apple pie and the TV running in the background. Her head rested on a small pillow and she was staring absentmindedly at the noisy box. She lifted the spoon and swallowed another bite of the pie that she'd been craving since that morning. With a sigh she threw the spoon on the table and rolled over, facing the back of the couch.

The room was warm and her mind became foggy as drowsiness slowly but surely overwhelmed her senses. She had decided to wait up for Delia, but it seemed her plans might have been in vain. It was mostly the company she craved. Their hours were different and they only saw each other in the morning if Ardelia got up early or at night if Clarice stayed up late. She really just wanted someone to talk to. The tape really shook her and having to repress her feelings in front of Crawford had left her exhausted. God, the tape…

It had been horrible, truly horrible.

Clarice sighed and placed a hand on her tummy. She hadn't liked it one bit… seeing him like that. And Crawford's comment about who was behind it… Fuck…

Clarice's eyes flew open as realization hit her. Her throat tightened painfully as she curled up and held her arms around her stomach tightly. If it was Mason Verger... Oh Fuck. Was it only Hannibal he'd want to hurt? Or would he want to hurt her baby as well if he found out? Tears started flowing at the thought and she choked back a sob, hardly noticing that she'd used his given name in her line of thoughts. What if someone tried to hurt her baby? Shit… No Starling! How could anyone know? How could they figure it out? _They could count the months. _The small voice in the back of her head sounded suspiciously like Dr. Lecter. _If they have any brains, they'll know… _I _will know…_

She tried to wipe away the tears but they kept flowing and she kept sobbing. Why did she feel like this? Nothing bad would happen and no one was going to hurt her baby. No one even _knew _about the baby. It was hers, just hers, and no one, absolutely _no one _could change that. Clarice took a deep breath and then another. She sniffed and laughed at how pathetic she felt. Everything was going to be fine. She rolled over and swung her legs off the couch, sitting up. She dried her eyes on her sleeve and stared at the pie. She could really eat some more of that pie…

That was how Ardelia found her later that evening when she came home. Clarice looked up at her friend with a smile and took another bite of the pie.

"I see you found pie…"

"Yep, it's good too, do you want some?" Clarice asked.

"Sure." Ardelia went to the kitchen to find a spoon and Clarice watched her friend warily. Did she seem a bit distant today? Maybe something had happened at work… Clarice was sure she'd tell her if it was important. Delia came back and sat down beside her, plunging the spoon into the pie.

"You okay?" Clarice asked slowly, taking another bite.

"Sure." Ardelia paused, turning her head to Clarice. "Are you?"

"Of course… shouldn't I be?"

Ardelia shrugged. "You got sick this morning… I was just wondering if you still felt bad."

"Nah, I'm good. I haven't felt a thing the whole day."

Ardelia seemed a bit downtrodden as she looked away. Was that… was that disappointment in her eyes?

"Are you sure, you're okay?" Clarice halted her spoon midair, watching her friend closely.

"Sure." Ardelia's smile looked slightly forced, but Clarice didn't comment on it. "How did it go at the BAU?"

Clarice smiled in relief at the change of subject, but it didn't give her any gratification to think about the BAU. It hadn't been a good day…

"It was fine…" She shrugged. "I watched the security tape and that was it."

"Oh… did Crawford mention anything about your position there?"

"Not really, but I'm tied to the department now. I'm going to the asylum tomorrow and then again next month… It's still better than any new agent could expect."

"You're right." Ardelia shifted in her seat as she took another bite of the pie. There was no smile to trace on her face and after another minute of silence, she rose from her seat. "I should go to bed now. It's been a long day."

"Night Delia…" Clarice returned to her pie without a second thought, but nagging feeling stayed with her for the rest of the evening as she remembered Ardelia's half smiles and downcast eyes. Something was wrong… something was definitely wrong.

* * *

When Ardelia closed the door to her room behind her, a frown passed over her face. She didn't know why she had expected Clarice to tell her about the book in her room, but somehow it left her disappointed that she hadn't. Her best friend was pregnant and she hadn't even told her about it. Come on… that was great news! Maybe she just needed some time. Ardelia took off her shirt. If _she_ got pregnant, she'd probably need some time to get used to the idea as well, but then again. Clarice _was_ reading books, so she couldn't be in complete denial anymore…

Ardelia sighed as she dropped down on her bed. She ran a hand through her hair… I wonder who the father is_, _she thought. I hope it's not that Pilcher guy…

**A/N:**

**I know what you're thinking… No Hannibal? Yeah… no Hannibal.**

**Sorry guys, but he's cuffed to a hospital bed and Clarice is the only one who can have all the fun. I promise to give him a scene or two in the next chapter ;) **

**It's not a very long chapter, but it's a good start considering I haven't been able to write for a while. As I've said before, I'm going on vacation soon so the updates might not be very frequent, though I will have plenty written by the time I come home :) **

**So, any thoughts? It's not very eventful, but Ardelia did figure it out. Did anyone pick up on the pie thing? Yeah, purely a Sam and Dean Winchester moment :P **

**I just watched the season finale and though I love the boys, I don't feel the same kick from watching it as I did before… They should have ended the series after season five.**

**I hope to update soon!**

**Firebolt**


	6. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: All characters in here belong to Thomas Harris.**

**I'm currently watching the England vs Italy football game, and no, I normally don't watch football, but my father insisted and I'm suddenly finding it extremely hard to concentrate on writing this… **

Chapter Five

The first thing Hannibal registered was the warmth. His cheek was pressed against the soft material of his pillow and he breathed in the fresh, morning air. Wait, what fresh air? His eyelids fluttered and he groaned as the light filled his vision.

"I'm sorry Dr. Lecter." Barney's voice could be heard through Hannibal's hazy mind that became clearer and clearer by the second. Hannibal tried to open his eyes again and he managed to focus on Barney's broad frame. The big orderly was standing by the window and Hannibal couldn't make out his face as the light came in behind him. He noticed that the curtains were moving as a morning breeze entered the room. "Dr. Chilton wants you dressed for Agent Starlings visit today. I hope I didn't wake you too rudely."

"It's fine Barney…" Hannibal shook his head as he tried to become more alert. His eyes found the IV drop that controlled the morphine and noticed that it was still adjusted to last night's administration level that they had given him to sleep on. Barney followed his gaze.

"Oh, sorry about that Dr. Lecter." Barney hurried forward and adjusted the level. "No wonder you didn't wake up when I knocked…"

"Thank you Barney…" Hannibal breathed as he closed his eyes. He felt drowsy and he knew it was only because of the medicine. He'd slept more than enough. "Did you say Clarice was coming?"

"Yes, she'll be here within the hour."

"That's nice…" He murmured, turning his face away from the light as his eyes remained closed. It's not time to sleep now Hannibal, he told himself. He snapped for air and tried to roll over. A sharp pain went through his ribs and his wrists as both the handcuffs and his body protested against his movement. Dammit! His whole frame became instantly frozen as he tried to stop himself from uttering any sound of discontent. Breathe through your nose. That's better Hannibal. He relaxed slowly against the bed again, keeping his eyes closed. He didn't want to see Barney's pitiful eyes. "I should very much like to have a shower and a shave."

He heard Barney move, but as several moments went by in silence, Hannibal found himself wondering what orders his friend had been given.

"Will that be possible today Barney?"

Hannibal opened his eyes slowly and looked at the big orderly, who was still standing with his back against the window. He lowered his eyes to the object in Barney's hands and saw the mask. Barney made a face and said in his deep voice. "Dr. Chilton isn't in a very good mood today… and we're a man short. Jim's kids have the flu and he just caught it himself. I'll see what I can do…"

"Thank you Barney." Hannibal said with just the right amount of gratitude as he stared at Barney, who was looking intensely at the mask in his hands instead of Hannibal. The big orderly nodded.

"I'll have to put the mask on you Dr. Lecter." Barney said with a low voice as he looked up at Hannibal who nodded in return. He was just grateful that the new night guard they'd hired had been kind enough to remove it last night before turning up the morphine and actively putting him to sleep. Barney moved forward and gently lifted his head off the pillow and securing the straps that would probably start bothering him in about an hour. Their eyes met for a moment when Hannibal's head fell back on the pillow and Barney smiled kindly. "I'll have a word with Dr. Chilton about that shower, huh?"

Barney didn't wait for an answer as he left the room and Hannibal didn't turn his eyes to look after him. Instead he turned his head to stare at the ceiling as he heard the door slid shut. It was white. He snorted. As if staring at the ceiling would be interesting. How dull.

The ceiling might become more interesting tonight when the light would be low enough on the sky to play against it. It seemed that it was a beautiful day outside. Hannibal sighed as he glanced at the window where he could see the bright, morning light that indicated a day with sun and warm weather. The effect of the morphine was wearing off and he could feel his mind become clear as the pain in his body returned. If they'd kept him on a high level of that substance, he might have been stupid enough to ask if he could go outside to see the sun, but he knew exactly what the answer would be and it would be too degrading to ask. It was bad enough that he had to ask for a shower…

A small knock could be heard on the door and Hannibal turned his head slowly, gazing at the doorknob for a moment, before he answered.

"Come in."

The door opened slowly and his breath got caught in his throat as he saw Clarice step into view. Her hair was loose and through their time together it had slowly become long enough to fall over her shoulders. She was wearing her usual jacket with shoulder pads, but he could see the thin, delicate fabric of a much more feminine shirt underneath it and it pleased him to see her wear something nice for a change.

"Clarice."

"Good morning Dr. Lecter." Her voice was soft spoken and her accent could be heard underneath it, but he didn't comment. He'd become rather fond of it.

"You're early…" He raised an eyebrow and sent her the most charming smile he could manage though he knew she was unable to see it.

"It's ten o'clock…" Clarice frowned. She was still standing with the door open, should he wish to send her out. "I called two hours ago to say that I was coming."

Hannibal, who no one had bothered to help into a seated position, was lying completely immobile on the bed at her words. He closed his eyes briefly as he breathed in slowly, trying to control his temper. Clarice was watching him warily as he stared back at her. Someone had obviously thought it was amusing to let him sleep in today and he wasn't at all ready for visitors. He felt completely filthy and he hadn't even been to the bathroom yet. His bladder had been protesting against the abuse all morning, and Hannibal could feel a slight, burning feeling in his chest as the extent of his embarrassment hit him. He didn't want Clarice to see him like this.

"I see…" He mouthed slowly. "Would you be kind enough to wait outside while I get ready for our rendez vous? And do send in Barney if you'll be so kind."

Clarice nodded quickly as Hannibal spoke in his low, controlled voice that he only used when he was trying to keep himself in check. He saw the color rise to her cheeks as she realized that he didn't want her to see him like this and that someone had obviously arranged for her to do so.

"Of course Dr. Lecter."

"Thank you Clarice."

She ducked her head outside and he heard her speak with Barney in a low voice. "Barney, he needs you."

Need him? Hannibal turned his head away from the door as his heart skipped a beat in anger. He didn't _need _Barney. He could do all this himself, if they'd just take the handcuffs off him and let him do his business. No one would be able to tell that Doctor Hannibal Lecter was currently trying to suppress an angry outburst as his left eye ticked and the fingers on his right hand shook slightly. The monitor that checked his pulse only registered the smallest uptake in speed before it returned to normal. Hannibal gritted his teeth. Why did he feel like this? He was always completely helpless in the asylum and it shouldn't bother him anymore. He still found it amusing that they didn't dare give him a razor so he could shave himself, but instead opted to have one of the orderlies do it while he was tied up. No, this was different. He'd been in this bed for nearly a week now and it was not with their good will that they even let him get up so he could use the bathroom. He was in constant pain, he was bored out of his mind and now they let Clarice see him like this; undressed, unshaved and filthy.

The door slid shut as Barney came in and Hannibal turned his head to stare at him. The big orderly shifted on his feet and glanced at Hannibal apprehensively. Guilt. Did that mean Barney hadn't known that Clarice would arrive so early? Probably…

"Just get me ready Barney." Hannibal said with a sigh.

"Of course Dr. Lecter." Barney retreated to the door. "Just a moment."

Barney stuck his head out in the hallway and spoke in a hushed voice. His tone became more insistent and a young man followed him in. He wasn't much more than a boy and the wisp of a moustache could be seen on his upper lip. His pale eyes darted nervously around the room, settling briefly on Hannibal before looking away. He was holding the tranquilizer gun with a firm grip despite his trembling frame and Hannibal smiled in delight. A new boy on the block. This was going to be _fun_.

"Dr. Lecter, this is Dean Morris." Barney spoke. "He used to help out in the kitchens, but since Jim is sick we thought he might be of better help here."

"Hello Mr. Morris." Hannibal smirked, barely able to contain his laughter. "You look a bit pale, are you feeling quite all right?"

"Yes sir." The young man said without hesitating.

"It's _Doctor…_" Hannibal drawled. Dean's eyes flickered nervously as he shifted.

"Yes Doctor." He corrected himself.

"_Goood" _Hannibal winked. "Good, now Dean, may I call you Dean?"

He waited patiently for the hesitating nod that the young man gave apprehensively.

"Thank you Dean. You may call me Dr. Lecter. Barney does as well. It's only good manners after all." Hannibal didn't blink once, leaving the young man to stare into his eyes, mesmerized. Barney shook his head with an amused laugh.

"Don't make him wet himself Dr. Lecter." The big orderly couldn't hide his smile.

"Oh, I'm sure Dean can hold his water." Hannibal forced himself to look at Barney, making the young man snap for air as his pale eyes were freed from the hypnotizing grip of Hannibal's maroon orbs. "But _I'll_ wet myself soon if you two don't hurry up and let me go to the bathroom."

Dean looked at Barney for directions and the big orderly waved at him to follow.

"Ok, Dean, you just have to stand here and aim at Dr. Lecter the entire time. If he tries anything, you shoot, ok? Better safe than sorry." Barney placed a hand on the young man's shoulder, positioning him on the right side at the foot of the bed, where Barney wouldn't be in the line of fire. Barney turned to Hannibal. "There are fresh clothes, towels, a toothbrush and some toothpaste in the bathroom. Don't try to hide the toothbrush on your person. We'll check the room for missing objects. If you want a shave, we'll do it for you, when you come out, understood?"

"Yes Barney."

"Good. Remember, you'll have to keep your bandages dry. We don't have the resources to change them today"

"Of course." Hannibal sighed as Barney moved forward with the kind smile on his face that he'd become so used to. He heard the clicks as the handcuffs were removed and as Barney leaned away, Hannibal lifted his hands to his chest slowly and massaged his wrists. The cuffs hadn't been tight, but he could still see a slight discoloration where they'd gnawed at him through the night. The sidebar on the bed was lowered and he waited patiently for Barney to walk away and stand beside Dean, before he inched himself closer to the edge and let his legs dingle off and gravity help him to sit up. He closed his eyes as his ribs protested, but not a sound escaped him. A low whistle was heard as he let the air escape through his teeth and he opened his eyes calmly, starring at the bathroom door. He just had to walk three steps.

It was harder said than done, but Hannibal managed to get into the bathroom and close the door behind him, feeling a great weight lift off his chest. Finally some privacy. He took his time, though he probably couldn't have done it faster without a great deal of pain. He emptied his bladder, brushed his teeth and washed himself off at the sink. He couldn't step into the shower without ruining the bandages, and even though it was tempting to cause some distress in the guards with the action, he decided against it. He had a visitor waiting.

By the time he was back, now sitting upright, on the bed and Barney had shaved him, half an hour had almost gone by. The handcuffs rattled as he tried to find a more comfortable position, but he soon gave up. He felt better as he could smell the fresh clothes and the mint from the toothpaste. His mask was on, but otherwise, he thought, things had turned for the better. There had been a moment though, where he'd wondered if Dean might shoot him by accident. That wouldn't have fitted with today's schedule at all.

Barney and Dean left the room, carrying his dirty clothes and whatever objects they weren't allowed to leave with him. Hannibal rested his head against the pillow that Barney had placed behind him, and waited patiently.

"Come in." He said again as a small knock could be heard. Clarice opened the door slowly, giving him a light smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. She was unhappy and he could feel his anger lurking under the surface, never quite emerging. Clarice was upset and it was probably because of him. He didn't voice his thoughts though. "I'm sorry I kept you waiting."

"That's all right Doctor." Clarice glanced away from him. "They knew I was coming."

Hannibal saw her bite her lip and how her eyebrows knit together in distress. She shouldn't feel guilty about this, but there wasn't much he could do but accommodate her. "Please sit."

"Thank you."

A moment of silence followed as she sat down. He watched the movement of the fabric of her shirt and how it hugged her body perfectly. It looked like she'd gained a bit of weight, but it suited her beautifully, making her look older and more mature. He wanted to touch her, just hold her hand, but he didn't dare make the assumption that he could. Instead he sat still, looking at her and memorizing every single detail. When she glanced up, she caught his eyes. So beautiful, he thought.

"You look better." She said.

"If by better, you mean that blue has become purple, then yes, I do." He didn't bother smiling, as she couldn't see it for the mask. "No, the one who looks better is you. You've finally got some sleep. Tell me Clarice, have the lambs stopped screaming?"

She shifted in her seat uncomfortably, but nodded silently.

"That's what I thought." He tried to smile and hoped it reached his eyes. He didn't want to scare her after all. "How long do you think it will last?"

"Long enough."

He noticed how she made an involuntary movement, as if she wanted to hug herself, but she stopped midair and blinked in surprise. She was nervous, but not scared. He wondered what would cause her to be on edge.

"I'm here on business Dr. Lecter." She said, her lips forming into a small pout. Was she nervous, because she was afraid he wouldn't like to be reminded of her connection to the FBI? How silly of her. After all, if she wasn't with that ridiculous agency, he wouldn't find this half as much fun. That said, he still liked _her. _He'd often wondered if she would have caught his interest if she hadn't been with the FBI. He knew now that she would have. Clarice Starling was interesting no matter_ who_ she worked for.

"I suppose we will stick with the formalities today then? I still can't make you call me Hannibal, can I?"

"Do you really want me to?"

"Yes." Hannibal formed the word with his lips carefully, watching her reaction. She took a slow intake of air through her nose and her pupils' dilated. He loved the effect he had on her and he couldn't help but marvel at her stubbornness. Despite everything that had happened between them, she still insisted on a distance clouded in formalities. He wanted to break that, and having her use his given name was a good first step.

"Hannibal…" It clearly made her uncomfortable, but she'd used it before and it always sent a shiver down his spine to hear her say it. "As I said, I'm here for the bureau today."

Today? Did that mean she expected she'd come on personal visits later? The thought made him smile.

"Do tell me Clarice, what does dear old Jackie boy have to tell me?"

"Not much. Not _enough. _The guards are being prosecuted, but they have a very good lawyer. We don't think they did it on their own initiative, but we don't have any proof. We're looking into it though. Now… Hannibal, I really need to know, if there is anything, anything at all that you haven't told us. The slightest detail could be important."

"So the BAU has come to the same conclusion as me. That's grand." Hannibal sighed. "I know nothing more than you, Clarice. I can only guess."

"So what are you guessing at?"

"I think you know."

"Mason Verger?" The name was barely a whisper, but Hannibal heard it very well. _Mason. _What a despicable character. How Hannibal loved to think about him.

"Yes, Mason Verger." A cruel smile graced his face. If it wasn't so incriminating, he really should have left more of his victims alive. It really was a joy to know that they didn't just suffer; they still were suffering. "You do know Clarice that should any ill ever befall me in here; death or likewise, it will be that monster's work? Because truly, _he _is a monster."

"Thus implying that you're not?" Clarice raised an eyebrow calmly. Hannibal glared at her for a moment, and when he saw no ill intentions on her features, he nodded.

"Yes, thus implying that I'm not." He was glad when he saw the small smile that tugged at the corner of her lips as she nodded in recognition. She agreed. He was surprised when he felt her hand brush against his and the warmth as her fingers curled around his hand. She'd done this the last time she was here and it sent a rush of heat through his system. He moved his thumb over her soft skin, watching her eyes. He felt himself become lost in them and hardly noticed how her breathing changed. His mouth had gone dry and he tried to conceal it as he swallowed hard. "How are you Clarice?"

"I'm fine Hannibal." There it was. His name said without hesitation. He smiled.

"Good."

Maybe he didn't want to, but he didn't notice how her eyes flickered to the side and how her pulse skipped a beat. Later though, he would look back at these encounters and revise everything and then… and then things would be much, much clearer. Instead he found himself savoring the feel of her skin against his and the scent of her body.

"I watched the tape…" She said.

Everything stopped. Hannibal's grip on her hand tightened before he let go completely. He saw the miniscule changes on her face. Happiness and slight arousal turned to sadness, guilt and apprehension. Her eyebrows knit together and her breath halted in her throat. Or maybe it was his? His head turned away from hers, staring at the window. The temperature in the room had dropped several degrees.

"Why would you go and do that?"

Was he hurt by her actions? He wasn't sure. He'd hoped she wouldn't come anywhere near the tape. The events didn't bother him as much, as the thought of her seeing him in his degradation had. Hannibal wanted her to see him as someone who could protect her. Someone who was strong. This was not part of the plan. What plan? Was it the plan to make her fall in love with him? Was it the plan to turn Crawford's protégé against him? Or was it the plan to have this little plaything for as long as it pleased him? Whatever plans he'd had, they all seemed so far away now. Clarice Starling intrigued him, pleased him and made him feel things he hadn't felt since before he could remember. This wasn't part of the plan.

"Mr. Crawford had me watch it with him." He voice was cautious and quiet. "I'm your middleman with the Bureau now, Hannibal, and I'm sorry… but if I don't watch it, I won't be a very good contact person, now, will I?"

"Did Jack think it was funny?" Hannibal asked, turning his head back to her.

Her eyes flickered, avoiding his gaze. Pity… how he hated it.

"No…" She whispered. "No he didn't".

He didn't say anything, just watched her as she bit her lip. Her eyes were moist, and he vaguely wondered why she was so emotional. She hadn't been before. Her hand was still resting on the bed where he could reach it. He stretched out his fingers and touched her lightly. Her eyes went to their hands at the contact. She turned her palm upward slowly, letting him take her hand into his.

* * *

Barney was tired. Jim was sick and he'd had that Dean kid follow him around like a puppy all day. Dr. Chilton had been in a foul mood since morning and he'd been the one, who hadn't notified the staff that Agent Starling would already arrive at ten and not later. It had all turned out fine in the end, and Barney was sure Clarice had been smiling when she left Dr. Lecter's room. That was a rare sight, but one that was becoming customary with her.

The big orderly had other things on his mind though, as he walked into Dr. Lecter's room. He was sitting upright, as he'd been doing all day, and Barney felt a slight twinge of guilt, but orders were orders and there was hardly anything he could do to let him move around. The Doctor looked up briefly, before returning his gaze to the window.

"Good afternoon Barney."

"To you too Doctor." Barney accepted his words as an invitation and closed the door behind him. "I've got bad news."

"Really?" A small note of amusement was audible, but Barney knew it was just for show. Dr. Lecter was _not _amused. Especially not, when the bad news probably concerned him.

"Yes." Barney cleared his throat. "Someone decided to count the tapes for the surveillance of the lower levels. One of the clean tapes is missing. We think someone copied the tape of you and the guards…"

Dr. Lecter remained silent for a moment, before he turned his maroon eyes to look at Barney. "I suspected as much."

"You knew?"

"If someone orders a show like this, don't you think they'd like to see it?"

"Well… yes." Barney agreed, watching the coldness settle in Dr. Lecter's eyes. He'd lost weight since the assault and Barney was sure he saw a few grey hairs that hadn't been there before. The big orderly felt bad whenever he saw his friend try to move or walk. He hid his pain well, but Barney saw how his left eye had ticked this morning, when he crossed the room slowly, and the big orderly wasn't fooled one bit. He felt bad for him, and he knew that Dr. Lecter could read it off his face like an open book, and that it frustrated him. Dr. Lecter hated this despite his light voice and teasing comments. He saw the coldness in his eyes. One thing was sure. Dr. Lecter might be weak, but he hadn't been broken. Barney quietly thought that to be in here, one had to be broken to start with. But Dr. Hannibal Lecter wasn't broken. He might have been once, but he'd been carefully put together again and somehow a piece had gone in the wrong place. Barney wasn't a psychiatrist or even a psychologist, but he knew that Dr. Lecter wasn't insane… just… different and that difference made him into something … he didn't want to say monstrous, but no words seemed to fit; they never did.

"Tell me Barney, this morning, whose idea was it to let me sleep in, hmm?"

Barney stood still and lowered his eyes to the floor. He knew that this wasn't the real question. What Dr. Lecter really wanted to know, even though he might not be aware of it himself, was if Barney had somehow been involved. Since when did Dr. Lecter doubt him?

"Dr. Chilton _forgot _to pass on Agent Starling's message." Their eyes met briefly as Barney looked up and he felt Dr. Lecter's wide eyed gaze search his face. He received a small nod as the Doctor put his trust in him and believed him. "I'm sorry about that Dr. Lecter."

"Thank you Barney."

"Do you want me to fetch you dinner?"

"Yes please, that would be nice."

As Barney left to room to search for the poorly defined dinner, a small thought started forming in his head. Dr. Lecter's question had seemed to stem from a _need to know _basis, but the look in his eyes, the one that had been directed entirely to Barney, had been filled with mistrust. Where did that mistrust come from? _The night guards… _Had the episode in his cell left Dr. Lecter with such a bad taste in his mouth that he now thought Barney might be up to something too? The big orderly took solace in the observation that Dr. Lecter's eyes might have been full of mistrust, but something else had been there too. Something far more human; the hope that none of it was true.

* * *

Somewhere, something human-like was sitting in a wheelchair, watching a recording of an inmate beaten at the Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane. The horrible wheeze that emerged from his mouth was his laughter, and boy, was he having fun.

As the tape ran its course and the wheezing subsided, a sentence escaped the creature's non-existent lips:

"_Squeal like a pig._ You'll squeal soon enough Hannibal. Or the pigs will do it for you."

**A/N:**

**Please review. **

**I'd like to know if you like the current pace or if you find it dull. Do you like it?**

**I think it might have become a bit too slow, but I intend to make a smaller time jump next chapter :) **

**So I finally finished this, and the England vs Italy game is old news. Who do you think is going to win? Spain or Italy? I'm with Spain of course (I'm half Spanish), but I think Italy might give them a run for their money…**

**BTW: Check out my new story; Of the Lions and the Lamb(cheesy title ftw), it's a crossover between Harry Potter and Silence of the Lambs. I'm not very fond of crossovers, but I had a lot of fun writing it XD**

**I'll be in Spain the next month, but I have every intention to go hunt for an internet connection ;) **

**Have a really nice summer guys and I hope to update soon! **


	7. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: All characters in here belong to Thomas Harris.**

**A/N:  
Greetings from Spain!**

**I just arrived to the summer house in "el pueblo" as they say here and I'm already writing the next chapter. I've heard a rumor that the only pub/bar in town has a WIFI connection… I might just check it out. Who am I kidding. I WILL check it out XD**

**Let's see where this chapter takes us :) **

**Enjoy!**

_**I've had this chapter out for a while and no one has reviewed. 0. as it is. What Am I to think? You guys are the only thing that are driving this. Can we make 20 reviews? It's two reviews guys... come on**_

Chapter Six

Hannibal Lecter couldn't help but smile as he slipped off the straightjacket and let it fall to the ground. He massaged his arms, bending his fingers and looking around the room. His cell was very different from the last time he was there. His bed had been returned and so had the rest of his things. His few belongings were scattered around the room, much like they had been before they'd been removed. His books were on the shelf and a stack of drawings had been placed on the table.

"Take off your mask and slip it through the drawer along with the straightjacket." Barney's voice sounded behind him. As Hannibal lifted his arms to remove the straps that secured the mask, he felt his whole body protest. His ribs did _not_ like any new movements, which he'd become far too aware of in the few hours a week he'd been allowed to get out of bed to stretch his muscles in an attempt to rehabilitate him. It was with great effort that he bent down to the floor and took the jacket into his hands. He was suddenly glad they couldn't see his face.

"Here you are Barney." Hannibal spoke as he turned around to the glass wall, looking directly at the big orderly. Chilton scoffed as he was being ignored completely.

"Thank you Dr. Lecter." As the orderlies received the things through the drawer, they were placed in a bag and Barney nodded with a smile. "I think that's all. I will bring you breakfast in the morning. Does that sound good Dr. Lecter?"

"He will get it when the rest of them do. Don't make it sound like he can change anything." Chilton sneered at Barney. "Get back to your posts, everyone!"

The orderlies filled out, walking past the cells that lined the wall. Hannibal turned his gaze to Chilton, who'd remained behind. Dr. Lecter waited for him to speak and watched as the man made a face of distaste.

"Agent Starling is coming by tomorrow." He informed despite his obvious reluctance. "They call it "maintaining good relations with work subjects". If I had a say in this, that girl would never make it anywhere near this building again."

Hannibal remained silent, staring at his captor. Chilton sighed in defeat and turned around, leaving without a word. For a moment, Hannibal stood completely still, listening to the footsteps as they disappeared in the distance. He closed his eyes, breathing in slowly. _Freedom._

He quirked an eye open as the notion hit him. _Freedom? _Really Hannibal? He glanced around the cell and took a step towards the bed. Well… it was definitely better than being cuffed to it.

Now, what had Chilton said? Clarice was coming. He smiled at the thought, sitting down on the bed. It had been nearly a month since he'd last seen her and her absence had made him ache for something he couldn't really describe. He supposed the concept of butterflies in ones stomach could be applied for the feelings he had, when he thought about her. A sigh escaped him as his thoughts landed on the far too many nights in the hospital bed, where he'd been caught up thinking about her. In the end, he'd have to mentally reprimand himself as his ache for her became physical. He cursed the damn handcuffs that had kept him from relieving himself.

Well, he was back in his cell now and as soon as the lights were out, he could probably do anything he wanted to… but would he? Somehow he doubted it as his thoughts landed on the last time he had attempted (and succeeded for the record) in relieving himself. Things had gone quite wrong…

He closed his eyes and ignored the camera that was pointed straight at him as he lay down on the bed. It was quite cool down here compared to the upper levels in the med wing, but the cold air felt good against his skin. He breathed in and out slowly, feeling the drowsiness that had surrounded his mind for so long return. The light from the overhead lamps made the inside of his eyelids seem red and when the lights turned off; it became black. He shifted on the bed, blinking and opening his eyes. The red light of the camera was the only thing that could be seen as he stood up and removed his jumpsuit. The temperature was dropping quickly and he slipped under the covers of the bed as fast as he could, though he still took himself time to fold his clothes properly.

Clarice is coming tomorrow, he thought as he closed his eyes. She was always quite lovely and it bothered him that they once again had the glass wall between them. He just wanted to be able to touch her hand and feel the softness of her skin like he'd done in the basement. Why did his thoughts always return to that place? He'd felt human for a moment; loved. It was like that every time he was with her actually, but why did he have to torture himself with that exact memory? He'd become hard again and he glanced back at the camera pointed at him.

He couldn't do anything about it. With a sigh, he turned around on his side and put his hands under his pillow, where they were caught under the weight of his head. Hannibal ignored the throbbing between his legs and stared hard at the wall.

Now, what should he recite to fall asleep?

* * *

Clarice clutched the picture in her hand as she walked out of the grey building that held the office of her doctor. As soon as she was seated behind the steering wheel, she glanced at the little piece of paper in her hand. If she hadn't been told what it represented, she wouldn't have been able to guess it. It was in black and white and as she touched the round shape that she had been told was a head, she felt her heart pick up speed.

It was her baby.

The ultrasound didn't show much, but the doctor had been able to point out several limbs to her. It was weird, seeing it like this. It suddenly became very real. She _had _gained weight and if you knew she was pregnant, then you could definitely tell by her tummy, but she wasn't really showing yet and seeing this picture made the concept of motherhood so much more real. There was actually something growing inside her…

She put the picture in her wallet and started the car. It was a little to nine in the morning and she had to be in Baltimore by 10:30 so she headed for the road. Clarice just never made it that far. Pulling out of the parking lot, she suddenly found herself craving something very badly. It started in the back of her throat and the insistent hunger spread through her chest. She could _really _eat some chocolate. Not just any chocolate, but the expensive kind with different fillings; caramel, nougat, nuts, more chocolate and… _mmm, more chocolate…_

Her surrender came within the second as she pulled in outside a small store. Their selection of chocolate was limited, but she did manage to find a box that seemed promising. Hardly two minutes had been taken out of her trip as she was back on track, driving towards Baltimore. It was with perfected skills that she drove and ate almost half the box within ten minutes. As her crave diminished, she put the box on the passenger seat and sighed. By the time the baby was born, she was going to look like her old neighbor from back in West Virginia or like any other woman who'd discovered the true pleasures in life; chocolate and lots of it.

The trip to Baltimore had become somewhat familiar to her, though it was almost a month since she'd last been there. When she'd called yesterday, she'd been told that Hannibal was much better and that he was being sent back to his cell. Wait a minute… since when did she think of the Doctor by his first name? Clarice ran a hand through her hair. Lately she'd been doing it more and more often. Not a day went by where she didn't think of him and his insistence that she call him Hannibal was slowly seeping into her thought pattern. She drummed her fingers on the steering wheel as she pulled into the Asylum's parking lot. There was nothing she could do about it. Dr. Lecter was slowly but surely gaining a foothold in her mind. Everything would be fine as long as she didn't slip in front of Crawford and said "Hannibal".

As she left the car, she took one last glance inside and saw the box on the passenger seat. She only hesitated for a moment before she picked it up and put it in her bag.

It didn't take long, before she was walking down the hall towards Dr. Lecter's cell. Chilton hadn't even come out to greet her and she'd been too relieved to even think about going by his office. Barney, on the other hand, gave her a friendly smile and told her he'd started to think that she'd forgotten about them. He told her that everything had gone smoothly in the transition of Dr. Lecter from the med wing to his cell and that he was in good health. Now though, she wished he'd stayed in the med wing as she went past the occupied cells. No one was rude to her, but the quiet stares she received were bad enough. Finally, she reached Miggs's empty cell and then the Doctor's.

"Hello Clarice."

He looked good, was her first impression as she saw him standing in the middle of the room with his hands clasped on his back and a smile that would have made any woman soft in her knees. The bruises had completely faded, leaving his face as pale and smooth as when she first met him. But first looks could be deceiving and as Clarice stepped closer into view, she saw that things weren't as they seemed. His face was gaunter than she remembered and the dark circles under his eyes hadn't been there before. His jumpsuit didn't stretch across his chest as it used too, but seemed to hang looser than normal. He'd lost weight and a considerable amount of it too.

"Good morning Hannibal." As she used his name, his smile grew even wider. "You look better."

He winked. "So do you."

She could feel her cheeks reddening and to hide it she made a hurt face. "Doctor, _I have never_… Are you saying that I didn't look perfect last time I was here?"

The Doctor just kept smiling and Clarice felt a tug at the corner of her lips as her mask started slipping.

"You are always perfect Clarice but every time I see you, you manage to become more and more beautiful." He walked closer to the glass. "I don't know how you do it."

"Well thank you Hannibal." She bit her lip as she felt her heart skip a beat.

"Do sit." He gestured to the chair. Clarice placed her bag on the floor and sat down. Hannibal did the same behind his desk.

"How are you feeling Hannibal?"

"Much better."

"Are you eating properly?"

"Why, Agent Starling, are you concerned for my health?" He winked again, leaning forward over the desk. It was a subtle way of avoiding the question and Clarice accepted his privacy.

"Of course I am." She said. "You need to be fattened up and I have just the thing to help you."

She lifted her bag from the floor and pulled out the box of chocolate. Dr. Lecter leaned away with his lips slightly parted. Their eyes met and she noticed that they had gone wide.

"You shouldn't have done that Clarice." He said it as if he stated a fact; his voice void of any emotions.

"Why? Is there a rule against it?" She asked with a lifted eyebrow. "Besides, Barney already checked my bag and didn't say anything. And I should probably mention that I already ate half them… sorry Hannibal, they were good."

Dr. Lecter nodded and she noticed the smile that was growing on his face.

"Thank you Clarice." He said in a low voice. "But you should probably avoid sending the box through… it has sharp edges."

"Oh, I already thought about that." Clarice opened her bag and withdrew a paper napkin. She put as many chocolates in it as she could and folded it neatly like giftwrapping a present. She put it in the drawer, sending it through and Hannibal placed it on the table in front of him. He glanced up at her as he unwrapped the napkin. Clarice noticed how his nostrils flared before he picked up a piece and put it in his mouth. He ate it slowly and it looked like he had difficulty swallowing it.

"Don't you like chocolate?" She asked, suddenly feeling very nervous.

"Yes, yes I do." He nodded. "I just haven't had any in a while…"

"Oh… well, eat up then."

"I'd rather wait till later." He wrapped the napkin neatly and gave her a quick smile. "Something to pass the time."

A moment of silence passed between them as Hannibal gazed at her with wide eyes and Clarice could feel her heart pick up speed as she found herself leaning closer to the glass involuntarily. Hannibal's eyes were more brown than red today and he seemed tired. He licked his lips and looked away, placing his hands on the table and stretching his fingers out before him. Clarice had almost forgotten about his extra finger and it suddenly occurred to her that it was probably genetic. So were his eyes….

She cleared her throat, feeling a lump in her throat as a sudden burst of nervousness consumed her. "I should probably get going…"

With the strap of her bag on her shoulder, she rose from the small plastic seat. Hannibal did the same, quickly walking around his desk and standing close to the glass. "Clarice…"

"What?" She halted, turning around to face him. He had his hand reached out before him and she knew he would have touched her then and there if it wasn't for the barrier. She went closer, until she only had an inch between her and the glass. When she looked up, she had to contain a gasp as Hannibal had moved closer as well, leaving three inches between them. He didn't say anything as her pupils dilated from the fright he had caused and just looked at her, searching her face with his eyes.

"I want you to know something." He spoke so low that Clarice had to strain her ears. "I'm grateful. I truly am. For everything. I like your visits and I don't want them to end."

"You know that I can't promise you that they won't end."

"I know." He lowered his eyes and looked away. "Goodbye Clarice."

"Goodbye Hannibal." Clarice stepped away from the glass and headed down the hall. Her heart was in her throat and she found it difficult to breathe as tears threatened to fall. She stopped before she reached the end of the hall and took a deep breath, ignoring the man in the cell in front of her. Hannibal had been sentimental before, but never in this way. He'd never acknowledged that he was in prison before or that their time together was limited. This was the first time he'd spoken with her like things weren't in his hands; that he couldn't control what was happening. There was something not right about that. It was plain wrong. Doctor Hannibal Lecter was always in control.

Clarice composed herself and faced Barney as he let her through the door. She wasn't sure if her eyes were red, but if they were, he didn't comment on it.

"Barney…" She said quietly before he could say goodbye. "Is… is everything okay?"

"What do you mean?" Barney asked, scratching his neck.

"You see Han… I mean, you see Dr. Lecter every day so you might not notice this, but he's not… he's not well…" Clarice cleared her throat. Her eyes landed on the surveillance screen that showed Hannibal's cell. He was standing exactly where she had left him; his nose nearly touching the glass. "He has lost weight and it looks like he hasn't slept for a while…"

"You think?" Barney glanced at the screen that showed Hannibal. "I mean… I haven't really noticed. I guess… now that you mention it."

Barney leaned closer to the screen as he took in Dr. Lecter's diminished form. He glanced at Clarice and she saw his brow furrow as a thousand apologies passed through his eyes. His lips parted as he glanced back at the screen. "Do you think it's finally getting to him?"

"What?" She asked.

"Everything… Being here, what happened with the guards and he's always complaining about the food… The prospect of staying here for the rest of his life. It's very normal. I mean… for any other patient…"

Clarice shook her head. The lump in her throat was growing and she was afraid it might show in her voice. "I haven't known him as long as you Barney, but it doesn't… it's not something Dr. Lecter would be bothered by. He hasn't before so why now?"

Barney suddenly smiled from ear to ear. He avoided her eyes as his smile turned sheepish. "Maybe he's in love…?"

Clarice's mouth fell open as her heart started racing. Barney bit his lip and glanced at her. The words stumbled out of her mouth before she could stop herself. "But he's not capable…"

The big orderly raised an eyebrow. "What do _you _think Agent Starling?"

"Oh fuck…" Clarice stopped the car on the side of the road, leaning her forehead against the steering wheel. It became harder and harder to breathe and when she finally managed to gasp for air, a sob escaped her. It felt as if someone had stabbed her in the heart as tears started rolling down her cheeks. She closed her eyes and put a hand over her mouth, trying desperately to strangle another sob and then the next. Oh God… If what Barney had said was true… what had she done to make Hannibal feel like that? Fuck, shit, did she report this somewhere? Or did she keep it to herself? This was exactly what Crawford had wanted from her, right? Or was it?

She leaned back in her seat. And what about herself? Clarice knew that her pregnancy had caused her to feel things that she shouldn't, but crying because a serial killer was unhappily in love? Even that was a bit ridiculous. She dried her eyes and sniffed. Well, he wasn't just in love… he was in love with _her_…

A few deep, reassuring breaths later, Clarice felt ready to go home. Things would turn out just fine; she was sure.

The trip felt longer than normal. She was trying desperately to keep the tears back the entire time and it was with a sob of relief that she opened the door to the duplex. The relief didn't last long.

"Clarice?"

Ardelia stepped out of the kitchen, immediately noting her red eyes and the fresh tears that were already falling. Clarice's bag fell to the floor as her lips formed an "o" in surprise. She tried to calm herself by taking another deep breath, but it only sent another stab through her heart and Ardelia hurried forward, giving her a hug. Clarice hugged her back and put her head on her friend's shoulder. Sob after sob escaped her and the tears drenched Ardelia's t-shirt. Clarice's friend patted her on the back in an awkward attempt to calm her, but the tears kept falling and Ardelia took her by the elbow and led her into the sitting room, placing her on the couch.

"What did he do now?" Ardeila asked as they were seated. Her dark eyes searched Clarice's face and she tried to avoid her friend's gaze. "I know you went to see Hannibal Lecter today, remember? You told me."

"He… he d-didn't do any-anything." Clarice stammered through the sobs. "I _don't know _why I-I'm cry-crying. Well… yes I do… but it's not a good reason!"

"Aww, girl…" Ardelia said, biting her lip. "What is it then?"

"It's nothing…" Clarice tried to calm herself and she managed to stop sobbing. Stupid hormones, she thought. "I mean, you can't tell anyone I said this… It's just, sometimes, it's hard to remember _why _he's in there. It's like… he can be so nice and then the next moment he turns cruel. He _used _to get cruel, so it was easy to remember why he's in an asylum, but now… lately… he has been nothing but nice and he _likes _me. He said so. I just… I feel like he deserves better."

"Clarice, don't you see what he's doing?" Ardelia spoke apprehensively, hoping not to upset her. "He's trying to make you like him, so it will be even easier to play with your feelings. He's winning you over and he's succeeding… besides, don't you think it's just your, you know, hormones…"

"Well, yes…" Clarice stopped midsentence and her eyes went wide as she realized what Ardelia had just said. Hormones? What did she mean by that? Did she think it was her time of the month or… how could she know? Clarice was pretty sure she hadn't told her yet. "My _hormones?_"

Ardelia breathed through her nose and nodded. The watch on the wall ticked as Clarice waited for her friend to respond, explain, anything.

"I'm not stupid Clarice." Ardelia finally spoke. "There's nothing called _morning flu _that's just a flu. You've been eating some really weird things lately and with all your crying… besides, I took some of your things into you room a few weeks ago and quite frankly; single, non-pregnant ladies don't read the kind of books you had on your nightstand…"

"Oh…" Clarice's heart was racing and she felt the heat rise to her cheeks in embarrassment. Ardelia had known for weeks? Well, she _had _been planning to tell her. "I-I didn't want you to find out like that Delia… I'm sorry."

"Why didn't you tell me right away?"

"I wasn't sure…" Clarice felt her stomach churn as she remembered how she'd reacted when she'd found out about the baby and she spoke the next part as a whisper. "I wasn't sure if I should keep it."

"Aww Clarice…" Ardelia placed a hand on her knee. "What made you change your mind? Why even think so in the first place?"

"I don't know…" Clarice looked away from Ardelia as she remembered how she felt when she saw Hannibal in the hospital bed. "There's no father, but that's not the baby's fault and… I don't know. Please don't ask me any questions."

"Wait, does that mean that you won't tell me anything? Who's the father? Do you know if it's a boy or a girl? When are you due? Are you going to get fat? Does the Bureau know? What are we going to do with a baby in the house?" Ardelia talked so quickly that Clarice couldn't help but smile.

"We?" Clarice asked.

"Yes, _we_, did you think I was going to let you do this alone? Besides, it's my godchild…"

"Who says you're going to be the godmother?"

"Says I." Ardelia stuck out her tongue and laughed.

Clarice picked up a pillow from the couch and giggled as she hit Ardelia with it. They ended up chasing each other through the house and Clarice had to barricade herself in her room. With a smirk, she realized that she'd avoided most of Ardelia's questions quite smoothly.

**A/N:  
So this took much longer to write than I had anticipated… especially since I started writing the second chapter to the crossover I've published. If you like Hannibal Lecter/Clarice Starling and Harry Potter, you might consider reading it ;)**

**And the family takes up a lot of time too... at the moment, we're 10 people in the summer house... **

**Plus, I just found out that I failed my written exam so I have to do it all over again. That sucks. Less time to write :/ **

_**Please review. I'm writting my crossover till we make 20 here. **_


	8. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: All characters in here belong to Thomas Harris.**

**A/N:**

**You guys are great! Thanks for the reviews, we passed twenty and made my day ;) You deserve the next chapter, so here it comes!**

**I'm still in Spain (till the 4'th of August) and the weather is so great that I prefer sitting inside with my computer XD Worst part is, I know that I'll miss the sun when I get home to Denmark again…**

**I'd like to say that I mix things from the books and the movies at will. Mostly, though, my story is based on the movies.**

**Enjoy!**

Chapter Seven

"What did Crawford say?" Ardelia's voice could be heard from the kitchen as Clarice stepped through the door to the duplex.

"He said that it was a good idea!" She yelled back. Clarice had been all day at the BAU as she had been for the last month. Things had moved fast since Ardelia had convinced her to inform the Bureau of her pregnancy. First, she'd been pulled out of any kind of fieldwork as of the moment the words left her mouth, and then someone had called Crawford and told him that she was going to be pushing paper for a very long while and he'd intervened, using the opportunity to assign her to the BAU permanently. Advancement indeed. Had Clarice known this, she would have told her superiors sooner.

"I wouldn't want a serial killer knowing I had a kid either."

"Yeah…" Clarice mumbled as she stepped into the kitchen where her friend was making lunch. Did she smell bacon? _Mmm… bacon…_

Clarice sat down at the table, snatching the bacon from Ardelia's plate and wolfing it down as her friend watched with her mouth hanging open.

"Hey!" She finally managed to spit out. "It's… never mind, honestly Clarice. It was burning hot."

"It was good." Clarice winked with a small laugh, looking around the room for any other kind of food. "Besides, I was hungry."

"Honey, you're _always _hungry."

"What?" Clarice feigned indignation. "Are you saying I'm _fat_?"

Ardelia just shook her head with a smile, turning to the fridge to find more bacon. Truth was that Clarice wasn't fat. Far from it. At her last visit to the doctor, she'd been told that she needed to eat even more because she simply wasn't gaining enough weight. Clarice had asked why she wasn't showing very much yet and had been told that she was incredibly fit and that good abdominal muscles were keeping in the bulk… so far…. Clarice ran a hand over her tummy. She _was _showing, but no one would ever guess how far along she was just by looking at her. If she wore a tight shirt, the swelling was evident, giving her the pregnant lady look, but if she wore a hoody… she just looked a bit on the heavy side.

It was quite unsettling when she remembered that she was already in her sixth month.

"So what's going to happen?" Ardelia asked as she started making the bacon. "When are you going to Baltimore again?"

"Today…. For the last time." Clarice's stomach clenched painfully as she remembered Hannibal's words the last time she'd seen him: _I like your visits and I don't want them to end. _She suddenly wasn't hungry anymore. "When the baby is born, I might… I might start doing it again."

"Why?" Ardelia asked. "You've finally got a ticket out of it and it has already brought you to the BAU… what more do you expect to gain from it?"

"I didn't get a ticket out of it… I still have to call him." _But it's not the same. _The thought went through her head so quickly that it brought tears to her eyes. Ardelia was busy with the bacon and didn't notice a thing, but Clarice felt like she couldn't say another word for the life of her.

"So that was the deal? You correspond over telephone? Hannibal the Cannibal remains oblivious and you can still keep tabs on him? I guess it means that you'll have to start showing up again at some point…"

Clarice had to stop herself from wincing as Ardelia used Hannibal's charming nickname. She still wasn't used to it at the BAU, where only Crawford seemed to call Hannibal by his given name. Crawford had been the one to come up with the idea about the phone calls. If she wanted to keep her pregnancy private, all she had to do was call Hannibal over phone instead. Keep up the friendship and no one would be any the wiser. Just one last visit today and… nearly four or five months before she could see him again.

"What's the cover story?"

"Sorry?" Clarice was ripped out of her melancholia as Ardelia placed a plate filled with bacon in front of her.

"What are you going to tell him when you call him instead of visit him?"

"Oh." Clarice shrugged. "We haven't worked out the details yet, but I expect it's because I'm sick or undercover somewhere. He's going to get one hell of a surprise when I call that's for sure."

"Do you think he'll mind?" Ardelia sat down opposite her. "Will it bother him that you won't visit?"

"Yes… it definitely will."

* * *

Hannibal was drumming his fingers on the table.

_Clarice… _He thought. _Clarice, Clarice, Clarice. Whatever happened to our morning visits?_

Barney had come by an hour ago to tell him that Clarice was coming today at three o'clock. It sounded weird in his ears; she _always _came during the morning. He knew the tactic of course. Hannibal had used it himself during his years as a psychiatrist and it annoyed him that someone was now attempting the same thing with him. _Unsettle the work subject. _Your patient is used to the same routines, the same hours and the same procedure but then, out of nowhere, you change it. The subject becomes confused, unsettled and even agitated, thus creating circumstances that force forth more emotions and revelations than might have been obtained during a normal session.

Hannibal usually just arrived five minutes later to a session than normal.

_Clarice, Clarice, Clarice. I'm not a patient._

He wouldn't say anything to her of course. This might not have been planned at all; a hole in her schedule that could easily be filled by that tiresome trip to Baltimore. He knew that she didn't think of it like that, but it was easy to imagine that she would grow tired of him soon. The glass between them would soon diminish the ache she felt for him and he would become just another serial killer in the inevitable row of interviews she would conduct through her career. Don't be mistaken, Hannibal had heard of her promotion.

The sound of nearing footsteps rang through the hallway and the guessing game began. Hannibal always won of course. They were light as a woman's but the slight pad as the foot hit the floor was not the sound of Clarice's nicely heeled shoes. This woman was slightly heavier and wore sneakers. It turned out to be Clarice.

Hannibal nearly forgot himself as she stepped into view. This was a surprise. He had never been wrong before and he thought he knew her well enough to hear her light, heeled footsteps anywhere. But here she was; dressed in grey hoody and blue sneakers that made her look far too young. He was suddenly reminded of the exact number of years between them.

"Good afternoon Clarice." His words rang out just one second later than normal and she smiled as she read his guarded face.

"Surprised Hannibal?" She knew him too well.

"I must admit it, yes." He breathed, feeling his heart pick up speed as she walked closer to the glass. "What do I owe the informality today, Clarice?"

"What do _I _owe the informality today?"

Hannibal glanced down at his blue jumpsuit and answered in all seriousness. "Barney put all my white shirts in with the red laundry from third floor."

"I think you would look great in pink."

"Please don't tell Dr. Chilton that. He might agree."

"For the common good then." Clarice smiled. "I won't."

"Please sit." Hannibal nodded to the chair that Barney had put forth and as she sat down, he noticed that she placed her hands in the front pocket of the hoody. It was much too big for her and it made her look much heavier than normal. Had she gained weight? Hannibal wasn't about to ask.

"Now, Clarice, what is it I hear?" He asked. "Crawford finally came through for you?"

"Yes." A genuine smile but it quickly disappeared from her eyes.

"Is it all you thought it would be?"

"Well…" She hesitated. "We don't do much… they don't let me go places when there is a case. I have to look through old profiles and cases to find similarities and stuff.."

"Don't they trust you yet?"

Clarice bit her lip and her eyes wavered. "I don't know…"

"Holding something back now, are we?" Hannibal could see the thoughts passing through her head, but it seemed that she wasn't about to voice them. "I guess we aren't playing our old game of Quid Pro Quo anymore…"

"No." She said, finally braving herself to look him in the eyes. "No, we're not."

Hannibal leaned back in his chair, placing his hands on the table in front of him. He'd seen her reaction to it last time and he wanted to know exactly how much his sixth finger unsettled her. It was fine that she didn't want to tell him everything that passed through her head, but he could still know. He could still know everything. Hannibal watched as her eyes landed on his hands. There it was. A slight parting of the lips and an intake of breath that could mean anything. Fear or…? He breathed through his nose, trying to distinguish the different odors that came from her. There was arousal, but it wasn't new. Fear it was then. But fear of what? He put the matter aside as she spoke.

"Did you enjoy the chocolate?"

"Ha!" The chocolate. That _was _mighty nice of you Clarice." Hannibal couldn't help but smile at the memory of Barney's reaction to the gift. "Yes, I quite enjoyed it, that was, when Barney finally gave it back to me."

"What happened?" Clarice looked like she didn't know if she should be shocked or worried at his words.

"Barney confiscated it." Hannibal smiled and shook his head. "He said that it would spoil my appetite. I didn't get it back till after dinner. If you ask me though, he was hiding it from Dr. Chilton. They had an inspection scheduled for later apparently. It was quite smart of him, though at the time, I felt like a scolded child."

"Did it upset you?"

"Of course it did Clarice." Hannibal felt his smile falter. "There's nothing worse than being told what can and what you can't do."

"I know the feeling." Clarice wasn't looking at him as she rubbed the palm of her hands against her pants. "Leaving the orphanage was the best thing that ever happened to me. Freedom, at last."

"Yes, freedom." Hannibal felt an urge rise in him. It was one of those annoying impulses that you just had to scratch, or you would be sitting uncomfortably for hours as your chest felt heavy with emotions. Hannibal Lecter didn't like emotions. How come he wanted to tell her _that? _Sure, it was a thing they had in common, but he had to remember who she was. Could they figure out his past through that small piece of information? It was hard to remember sometimes who she worked for, but he _had _to. It was the FBI; the enemy. They were slowly sucking her into their world and apparently doing so with open arms despite what he had predicted when he first met her. The promotion to the BAU had felt like a blow to the gut.

"I…" He started, hesitating to see her reaction. She leaned forward, eager to listen to anything he had to say. She would report this. He knew she would. "I remember the exact same feeling when I ran away from my orphanage."

Her eyes widened in surprise and could feel relief flow through him as the words left him. How long had he wanted to share that with someone? Never would have been his answer just five minutes ago, but the way his heart went to his throat along with all the warm, fuzzy feelings made him reconsider it. Maybe it was her that he wanted to tell it to. _Clarice… _Her cheeks had a red glow to them today and her hair encircled her face and made him want to run his hand through it.

God, he was hopeless.

¨"How come you ran away?" Her words were carefully chosen. She didn't want to scare him off by asking questions that would reveal too much thus making him retreat from the conversation. She was a smart girl, his Clarice. Keep him talking and he might reveal something by himself. Hannibal shrugged, keeping the smile of pride off his face.

"For the same reason that you never went back to yours. I didn't particularly like it there." He could see the empathy in her eyes. He knew that she didn't pity him. She didn't pity herself. It was life. It happened.

"Were they cruel?" The question was innocent but it his eyes flickered away from hers, gazing at the table. What did he say? Hannibal felt something move in the pit of his stomach as he was sent back to the cold castle that had once been his home. He remembered the halls that had once been filled with laughter and good memories only to be defiled by the Communist Party and all its unfortunate orphans. He knew that it wasn't the boys' faults and that he had once been one of them, and though he had been indifferent to their taunts, he still felt the same anger as he had felt then. But Hannibal Lecter had long since stopped thinking about how _unfair _it all was.

"They were human." He answered. "And humans dislike what they don't understand. If it's any consolation to you, I didn't much like them either. I treated them as they treated me."

"Things haven't changed then." He could hear the smile in her words and he lifted his head to be met by her kind eyes. There was no pity and he felt the knot of anger that had been forming in his stomach dissolve. Instead, he found mild curiosity emerging.

"Were they cruel to_ you_?"

"It was as you said; I didn't particularly like it there." She shrugged. "If I followed the rules; I was fine."

"Whopsy." Hannibal felt his lips form into a smile. "It all makes _so_ much more sense now…"

Clarice shook her head as she laughed; her voice ringing like bells in the damp dungeon, filling it with rays of sun. It was beautiful and Hannibal wished she would laugh more often.

"Clarice…" He spoke as she quieted down and dried her eyes in her sleeve. "I do wish you could visit more often. I'd like to hear you laugh every day."

Her laughter halted, her eyes fell to the ground and Hannibal knew. Something was wrong. When she remained quiet, Hannibal saw no other option but to speak.

"I know you can't do that Clarice." At his words, she lifted her head. Was that tears? No, Clarice never cried. Not in front of him. "You don't have to make up excuses on my behalf."

"Thank you…" Her voice was heavy and it dawned on him that she was indeed close to tears. Why would his words upset her so? She got up from the chair, looking anywhere but him "I should go. It was nice seeing you Hannibal."

The goodbye was just as rushed as the last time she'd been there and he accepted it silently as he rose from his seat, stepping close to the glass. Clarice stood still and lifted her gaze slowly to his face. Her eyes were wide with guilt and he didn't know how he could make it better. It was probably a bit presumptuous of him, but he could only imagine that her guilt came from leaving him alone again. He lifted his hand to the glass and pressed it against it.

"Goodbye Clarice."

She glanced tentatively at his hand, seeing the six fingers in front of her. Her gaze went to his eyes and he knew she was taking in the unique color. When she didn't make a move towards him, he slowly let his hand fall to his side. She bit her lip and nodded silently, turning to go down the hall. Hannibal watched her retreat. She had definitely changed since he last saw her. The hoody couldn't conceal that she had gained weight and he found that he didn't mind. Her face had become rounder and it suited her. But there was still something… something he couldn't quite put his finger on.

When Barney came around to take away the chair, Hannibal couldn't help but ask:

"Barney, did you notice something different about Agent Starling today?"

* * *

When Clarice came home and even after Ardelia had returned from work, they sat quietly in the sitting room despite the late hour. Ardelia had her feet on the coffee table and her eyes glued to the colorful TV screen, but Clarice had her mind elsewhere, resting her hand on her stomach. The conversation that she'd had with Hannibal went through her head again and again. He was an orphan; just like her. Had he somehow seen that the first time they met? Or had he simply recognized something in her that made him think of himself? The thought was unsettling. A serial killer thought he had something in common with her and the worst part was that he was right. They did have something in common.

Ardelia laughed at something, making Clarice jump in her seat. The program didn't interest her at all, but as long as Ardelia enjoyed it; it was fine.

A small thought started forming in the back of her head. She remembered how her father's death and the subsequent events had shaped her entire life and maybe, just maybe, something similar had happened to Hannibal. She had to find out if he'd always been at the orphanage or if it had happened later. If he had once had parents… and then lost them.

Maybe, just maybe, Hannibal wasn't born the way he was.

**A/N:**

**Poor Hannibal, he doesn't have a clue, does he?**

**And Clarice, is this really the last time in four/five months that she'll see Hannibal?**

**A short chapter, because, let's face it, nothing really happens in this timespan and we might as well stop pretending so. **

**I wanted to put in a masturbation scene with Clarice at the end of this chapter, but I couldn't make myself write it. Somehow, as old fashioned as it seems, female masturbation has always seemed like a bit of a taboo to me. It was my best friend who requested it (a person with whom I can talk about everything) and I know she could write it without hesitating. But darling, I have to disappoint you. Clarice ain't getting it on without Hannibal, though you're free to imagine so. Besides, Clarice might be ready to admit than she has a hormone induced crush on a serial killer caused by her pregnancy, but I don't think she would take the next step and masturbate to the thought of him… as weird as it sounds when I had them sleeping together in the first chapter… **

**Firebolt **


	9. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: All characters in here belong to Thomas Harris.**

**A/N:**

**I just read the entire story again and realized exactly how much the first chapters sucked XD **

**I won't change them or rewrite them though. I'd lose interest in the story and stop writing :/ **

**Despite this, the story keeps moving forward and something very essential is going to happen in this chapter. **

**I do hope you're enjoying the journey along with me, as not just Hannibal and Clarice develop but the writer as well. **

**Enjoy!**

Chapter Eight

Hannibal had long since tired of summer.

They had just turned the corner to August and winter seemed very far away as the early afternoon sun heated up the lower levels of the Baltimore Asylum. Dr. Hannibal Lecter would have preferred to sit in his underwear, but what was left of his dignity obliged him to wear his clothes. Even though he hardly wore anything underneath the blue jumpsuit, he could still feel the sweat pearls run down the side of his face. It was with the hundredth sigh that day that he stood up to drink water from the tap.

Things had returned to normal and one boring day took the next as Hannibal read the same books over and over again. Chilton was his usual self, but with no opportunity to punish Hannibal, he'd tired of his own games and left the dear Doctor alone.

Right now though; Hannibal wished for another gospel program to take up his time.

He was growing more and more restless and even more so after his ribs had completely healed. He drank the water slowly, savoring the feeling as the cold fluids ran down his chin. How he wished for a distraction. Even a conversation with the young Dean Morris would do. The boy had been moved from the kitchens to the basement as it became obvious that he fared well with more strenuous activities. Despite his abilities, the boy still lacked in other areas and Hannibal was finding it very amusing to reprimand his manners though they were nearly perfect and try to teach him how to have an intelligent conversation.

A loud, clacking noise could be heard and Hannibal stepped away from the sink. The barred door to the hall had been opened and it sounded as if several people were walking in his direction. He placed himself in the middle of the room, waiting expectantly. Hannibal was very much aware of the fact that they might not be there for him but it never hurt to be prepared. With his hands clasped on his back, Hannibal smiled as the orderlies came into view.

"Good afternoon gentlemen."

His voice was the only sound as the three men stopped in front of his cell. It was with a smile that Hannibal noticed the phone in Barney's hand.

"Good afternoon Dr. Lecter." Barney was polite as always and Hannibal knew what was expected of him as he pointed to the corner of the cell. "Please step into the corner, hands on the back of your head and don't turn around till you hear the door shut close."

"Of course Barney." Doing as he was bid, Hannibal waited patiently for the men to place the phone in the room. Feeling slightly bored and curious, he found himself asking. "May I ask who is calling? I don't recall having this privilege… or did they change the rules?"

"It's Agent Starling." Said Dean and Hannibal could almost hear the blush that was creeping into the young boy's cheeks.

Hannibal smirked. "Thank you Dean."

"And no, your privileges haven't changed." Jim added, apparently thinking the boy's information inadequate. "Agent Starling is calling on the behalf of the B… the BI…?"

"BAU Jim, BAU." Hannibal said helpfully. "It's a department of the FBI that deals with serial killers and profiling in general."

Jim didn't answer as the orderlies backed out of the room. Why they had to be three was still a mystery to him, but one to hold the gun and the rest to…? It sounded like a bad joke in his ears. The door clacked shut and Hannibal turned around slowly, letting his arms fall to his side.

"Thank you gentlemen."

They left him alone and he eyed the phone. _Now, why, dear Clarice, why would you be calling me?_

The change in routine left him uneasy and it was with a heavy feeling in his stomach that he picked up the mouthpiece.

"Hello Clarice." His tone was light but it didn't match his mood at all.

"Hi Hannibal." She sounded happy. "How are you?"

"I'm fine…" He took a deep breath as he decided for the blunt approach. "Why are you calling me?"

"I'm in Detroit." There was no hesitation. "We're working a case and I can't get away."

"A case?" Hannibal felt his stomach clench painfully as he realized something; he didn't believe a word that she was saying. "I haven't heard about any serial killer in Detroit…"

"No, they're keeping it quiet. I probably shouldn't even be telling you…"

"No…" Hannibal stared hard at the wall. "No, you probably shouldn't."

So they were back to this? He'd hoped they were above lies and tricks, but it seemed he was wrong. But then again. She could be telling the truth and then what did that say about him? Hannibal had never been the jealous type, but maybe he should start reconsidering it. His chest felt heavy as he realized that he was making up assumptions simply because he was angry with her. He'd become accustomed to her visits and not being able to see her made his heart beat faster in pure anger. When Clarice remained quiet, Hannibal spoke.

"When can I see you again?"

"I'm not sure Hannibal… this could take a while." Sadness… that was good, right? It meant that she wanted to see him. He lowered his head and sat down on the bed.

"Do you miss me?" He asked quietly. There was a moment of silence and then her thin voice replied.

"Yeah, yeah, I do."

Hannibal couldn't help but smile at her words. It was a weird feeling. No one usually missed him and he swallowed hard as the knot in his stomach dissolved.

"Do you miss me?" She asked and Hannibal could imagine the shy smile on her face.

"Of course I do Clarice. Your visits are the highlights of my tedious existence. They will be sorely missed."

"I'm sorry…"

He was surprised as he heard the thickness in her voice that could only be tears.

"Don't be." He said slowly. "I chose this existence."

"Did you?"

Hannibal's brow furrowed but before he could ask, she continued speaking.

"How old were you when you were placed in the orphanage?" Her words were rushed and he knew that she had braved herself to ask this. Hannibal shook his head with a smile. So this was what she was getting at.

"Are you trying to _dissect _me Agent Starling?" He smirked. "Are you saying that it's not my fault? That I didn't kill those people? That I didn't _enjoy _it? I made a conscious choice Clarice and I enjoyed what I did. I don't regret a thing."

"No! No… I… well, are you going to answer?" So she really wanted to know this? Hannibal halted. It was just his age… what was he back then… eleven? Clarice was waiting patiently and he opened his mouth slowly. If it would make her happy…

"I was around eleven years old…"

He heard a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the line.

"I'm sorry…"

"Did you put me there?" He asked with a firm voice. Memories were sneaking closer and he clenched his jaw in an attempt to avoid them. He was glad that she couldn't see him.

"No…"

"Then don't be sorry." He knew exactly what she was thinking and it irked him. Being placed in an orphanage hadn't been easy for her and now she was trying to imagine how life must have been for him. He was waiting for another question, but it didn't come. Clarice remained quiet. Didn't she want to know why? If he had family out there? When and where he was born? When he had first been incarcerated, they'd repeated those questions. They wanted to know what made him tick, but how could they, when they weren't even sure if Hannibal Lecter was his real name…

"I'll visit as soon as I can Hannibal…" Her voice was low. "It might be a while…"

"It's a pity." Hannibal breathed through his nose as the butterflies suddenly emerged in the pit of his stomach. His throat tightened as he realized that he wasn't going to see her this month… or the next by the sound of it. He'd come to rely on her and the exact amount of how much hit him in that moment. He grit his teeth and he was close to hanging up as he leaned forward, holding his hand over his mouth. She couldn't know how he felt. It was embarrassing to say the truth and if he made a sound… He placed his hand over the mouthpiece and took a deep breath. The butterflies disappeared in an instant as he suppressed any emotion that could hurt him. He glanced at the camera in the hall and straightened up; his face now an expressionless mask.

"I know…" Clarice finally said. He wondered if she had been able to read his voice or if she too had been struck by a sudden outburst of emotions that had left her speechless. He wanted to be able to see her face. This was wrong… it simply wasn't right. She was supposed to visit… not call. Was she really in Detroit? Or was something wrong?

"When are you going to call again?"

"In a month… Anything else would be…"

"I understand." Hannibal spoke with a sigh. "We wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong idea."

"No…" She said quietly. "No, we wouldn't."

"Till next time then, Clarice."

"Yes… Goodbye Hannibal."

He heard the click as she hung up and he listened to the beeps, wishing that he could have said something more, that he could tell her something new or just be able to tell her exactly how he felt. But he knew his infatuation with her would one day fade as their time apart grew and he didn't want to look back and think of how he had made a fool of himself in front of the FBI. She was one of them and he had to get used to the idea. Clarice would soon move on… maybe even get married and have kids though he couldn't imagine her with anyone else but him. And really… Clarice as a housemother? The thought was ridiculous. She would remain free and unrestrained and he would stay in here.

Hannibal picked up the phone and placed it on the floor. It would probably be a while before the orderlies would be bothered with picking it up. They _did_ have other duties. He placed himself on the bed with his head on the pillow, starring at the ceiling. His hands were folded across his stomach; fingers intertwined.

It wouldn't be long before he faded from her memory. The events at Jame Gumb's house would just be an embarrassing memory which she would only revisit whenever someone mentioned his name. She would move on and things would return to normal for him in his dank cell. One day, Jack Crawford would tell her that the visits were fruitless and they would cease without any of them noting the difference. Bile rose in his throat at the thought. But until then… he was stuck with the butterflies and the ridiculous feeling that he would never get over her and that he would be stuck in here with the memory of her till the day he died.

The worst part was that no matter how much he tried to convince himself that he would get over her… it would probably never happen.

She would though.

Clarice would forget about him. Hannibal Lecter would be a footnote in her career.

And him?

Hannibal wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer.

* * *

Clarice hung up the phone with a frown.

The conversation had been short, with too many pauses and it had felt so wrong. She hadn't been able to read him and she was sure it had been the same for him. Half of their previous conversations had been built up of observations about each other and now… it simply didn't work over the phone.

With a sigh, she picked up the coffee cup that she had been balancing on her stomach. A month ago, she had been able to hide her pregnancy but it was as if her muscles had one day given up and the entire bulk had popped out. Clarice ran a hand across her tummy and grimaced as she realized that she was only going to get bigger. But then again, she didn't have trouble moving around and when she looked at other pregnant woman, she felt much better as she realized that she wasn't at all that big.

She swung her legs over the side of the bed, where she had been sitting while talking with Hannibal, and walked out of her room into the kitchen. Clarice had been spending a lot of time there lately as she ate more and more each day. Ardelia was starting to tire from going to the shop but she never complained. Apparently having a baby in the house was the most exciting thing that had happened since graduation. But Clarice's best friend wasn't home and she soon found herself bored with the place.

Unfortunately, it was becoming too late to go anywhere and she opted for staying in her room with one of the books. She'd read most of them and she knew that she'd soon have to go to the bookstore. Clarice had read the entire book on baby names and hadn't really found any that she liked so she had to find another one of those. None of the names had appealed to her and it was probably because she didn't know if it was a boy or a girl…

She wasn't sure why she didn't want to know the sex, but Ardelia thought it was all very exciting and thus the guessing game had begun. Her friend was sure it was a girl but Clarice couldn't help but imagine a little boy with brown eyes that looked red when… no, that wouldn't do. Whenever Clarice thought about Hannibal's eyes or his sixth finger, she felt a chill run down her spine. If the baby looked like him… she wasn't sure what would happen.

With a hand on her tummy, she tried to concentrate on the last book she had. With her tight work schedule and her wandering mind, it took her two weeks to finish it.

* * *

It had been a fortnight since Clarice last spoke with Dr. Hannibal Lecter and the sun was just as strong today as it had been then. She was walking down the street, aiming for the bookstore on the corner with a smile. Crawford had given her the day off and she knew it was only because he was uncomfortable with her current state. Her belly was growing day for day and even though she worked just as well as any other, he seemed to tiptoe around her, trying to make her as comfortable as possible. It was rather amusing, really.

She was getting along well with the other members of the BAU and none of them seemed to have any problems with it. Crawford didn't seem to mind it back when she wore loose clothes but after she started showing off her belly… Apparently, he didn't appreciate tight tops and pregnant women.

It was with one of those tops, stretching across her belly that she entered the bookstore. Clarice smiled at the girl behind the counter as she walked past and found the section with pregnancy books right by the entrance. Her eyes searched the shelves and she quickly found another book on children names. She flipped through it and with a sigh, she realized that they were the same names as in the book she had at home.

What was she supposed to do then?

She put the book back on the shelf and as she turned around to exit the shop, her heart stopped.

Doctor Frederic Chilton was standing by the counter with a book in his hand and he was looking directly at her. His mouth fell open as his eyes halted at her stomach and she could feel herself start to tremble.

Suddenly he smirked.

"Well, well, well, Agent Starling. What have we here?"

**A/N:  
This is probably the shortest chapter in the entire story so far… I'm sorry XD**

**Blame the cliffhanger haha, I haven't written one since the first chapter and I felt like it was about time. I could of course have kept writing here and thus the chapter would have been longer buuuuut who can resist the opportunity to leave the reader with a chill?**

**Apropos chills…. Was I the only one who started screaming and pointing at the screen when J.K Rowling showed up at the Olympics? And huge Voldemort? Priceless!**

**For a moment there, I was expecting to see Anthony Hopkins as well… but we can't get everything :(**

**Till next time!**

**Firebolt**


	10. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: All characters in here belong to Thomas Harris. **

**A/N:**

**Mads Mikkelsen is going to play Hannibal Lecter in the new NBC series, what do you guys think about that? He's a Danish actor that has been famous in Denmark for as long as I can remember. I've never had anything against him but I've never gone out of my way to watch a movie with him either. But he's the best actor Denmark has to offer and I'm actually quite excited to see his performance… But Hannibal will always be Anthony Hopkins to me. **

**Poor guy, he's going to suffer if he doesn't do a great job… it's quite the role to accept.**

**Good luck Mads! I'll watch it whether it sucks or not. **

Chapter Nine

"_Well, well, well, Agent Starling. What have we here?"_

Clarice could feel her heart beat against her ribcage with painful thumbs as Dr. Chilton came closer. His smile reached his ears and he winked as he stopped in front of her.

"I think congratulations are in order." He eyed her stomach and raised an eyebrow. "I guess it has been a while since I last saw you…"

"Yes…" She said weakly.

"I must admit, I did wonder why you didn't visit."

"Dr. Chilton, please…"

"Oh! I have to get going." With those words, he hurried to the counter. Clarice had the rest of the sentence on her lips, but he left the book instead of taking himself time to buy it. He was out of the store before she could utter another syllable.

She watched his diminishing form with wide eyes as she took a deep breath. Slowly, she whispered "…don't tell Dr. Lecter."

* * *

Chilton was smiling.

That was never a good sign.

Hannibal had been sitting by his desk, drawing the Cathedral of Burgos. The gothic arcs were nearly finished when he heard the telltale sound of the barred door swinging open and Chilton's hurried footsteps followed by the confused orderlies. He'd remained seated not even lifting his gaze when they stopped in front of the glass, but as soon as Chilton spoke, Hannibal knew that he was grinning from ear to ear.

"_Hello _Hannibal."

With a sigh, he put away the drawing and lifted his eyes, staring coldly at Chilton. The man was standing far too close for Hannibal's liking and the intrusion into his personal space sent bile to his throat. This man was going to suffer one day… Hannibal was going to make sure of it.

"Hello Dr. Chilton." He said as he let his lips twitch into a smile. Make him suffer… what a lovely thought. Maybe he should eat his tongue. That _would _be rather poetic. On the other hand, Hannibal felt like eating _all _of him; to cleanse his bones from meat and then make soup on the rest. Not a trace of this man would be left and Hannibal felt rather content at the thought.

"You'll never guess what just happened today." Chilton chuckled.

"I can guess but I won't believe it." Hannibal's smile widened. "Did you get published?"

Chilton's smile faltered for a moment but with a sudden laugh and an ominous glint in his eye, the man took a step back, signaling to Barney. Hannibal knew he should have stayed quiet.

"Tie him up real good. I want him to look me in the eyes when I tell him this…"

Both Barney and Jim stood still, glancing at each other to see who would move first. Dean was shifting from foot to foot, holding onto the tranquilizer with a firm grip. His eyes were jumping between the two black orderlies, awaiting instructions. After several moments where the orderlies glanced between each other with indecision, Dean finally asked.

"Does that mean we have to go _in_ there?"

Hannibal suppressed a chuckle as Chilton fumed with anger, stepping forward and wrenching the tranquilizer gun out of young Dean Morris's hands.

"Yes!" He hissed. "Get the mask, the straightjacket and the fucking cart!"

Dean scrambled down the hall and with a glance from Barney, Jim followed with a sigh. The big orderly remained behind, crossing his arms across his chest and looked down at his superior with the slightest hint of detest that only Hannibal picked up on. They waited in silence until they finally heard the squeak of the wheels on the cart as it was rolled down the hall. Dean and Jim came into view and Hannibal rose from his seat. It was better to get it over with.

"You know the drill Hannibal." Chilton spoke as he gave the tranquilizer back to Dean. "Try anything and we shoot. With any luck, you'll fall and break your neck."

The Doctor remained quiet as they sent through his mask and the straightjacket. He put the mask on and slipped his arms through the sleeves of the jacket, crossing his arms across his chest and standing with his back to the entrance. He heard the glass slide open and the sound of Barney's heavy footsteps as he came in. Hannibal felt the tug as Barney started strapping in the straightjacket and it was with a grateful thought to his friend that he realized that the jacket was a bit loose to help the circulation in his arms.

"Please turn around Dr. Lecter."

He did as he was bid, turning around and catching Barney's eyes in the process. The big orderly was frowning and Hannibal's red lips parted. He wanted to ask if he knew what was going on, but Barney must have understood as he shook his head. The cart was brought in by Jim and Hannibal realized that Dean was already in the room with the gun trained on him with a firm grip. Jim rolled the cart behind Hannibal and he stepped up, letting the two men strap him in.

"That's better…" Chilton was leaning against the glass, having stepped into the cell. "Barney, take the gun from Dean and wait outside the cell. The rest of you can leave…"

Hannibal licked his lips as they were left alone. Barney stepped outside the cell and stood still, holding the tranquilizer across his chest and watching Chilton warily. Out of the corner of his eyes, Hannibal saw Chilton push off from the wall and step up to him. He kept looking at Barney outside the cell and as the big orderly noticed it, his gaze shifted and their eyes locked.

Chilton walked around the cart, stopping as he came face to face with Hannibal again. The Doctor didn't acknowledge his presence and the man frowned with contempt. He was standing so close that Hannibal could feel his jacket brush against his jumpsuit, but he remained completely still, fighting an urge to flinch away from the man.

"I met someone today. It was quite a surprise, I must say." He started with the corner of his lips tugging into a smile. "A mutual friend of ours…"

Chilton turned his head to look at Barney for a moment, but the big orderly didn't move his gaze from Hannibal's.

"Agent Starling was in Washington DC today."

Hannibal would have frowned, but he kept his face completely emotionless. _Washington DC? _Wasn't she supposed to be in Detroit? She could be home for a day, but on the other hand… he hadn't heard about any serial killer in Detroit yet… As he had first suspected, she had lied. It was quite hard to read people over the telephone, he admitted to himself.

"She looked good; she really did." Chilton chuckled. "A bit _big _if you ask me… Did you know? Did she tell you?"

_Big? _Sure, she had gained weight but… still… _big? _And what was she supposed to have told him?

"No, she didn't, did she Hannibal?"

Hannibal was sure that his face showed no emotions, but somehow, Chilton was still able to read him. The man had known him for too long…

"This is priceless…" Chilton laughed, glancing between Hannibal and Barney, awaiting a reaction. They stayed still, but it was all he wanted from them. "How do I tell you this Hannibal…"

Chilton took a step back and then one forward again, watching Hannibal's face as if he was a sculpture to be studied. The light reflected against Chilton's tanned forehead and Hannibal wouldn't have been surprised if he had been able to see his own reflection.

"She's pregnant."

The words came like a blow to the gut.

Hannibal couldn't move nor breathe as pain shot up from his stomach and to his throat. He made an involuntary movement and Chilton smiled widely. Barney's eyes had gone wide and they wavered from Hannibal's for a moment. He tried to breathe and air finally came down his nose in a controlled manner, but the damage was already done; Chilton had seen him flinch.

"I guess, she got tired of waiting for you Hannibal…" Chilton started speaking and Hannibal heard all the words though his mind was somewhere else completely. _Pregnant…? _But she hadn't… wait… she _had. _Suddenly it all made sense. Clarice's weight gain, her clothes, the involuntary movements she'd made as if she wanted to touch her stomach, the tears and all the emotions he'd sensed in her whenever they were together.

"She found a plaything and he got her pregnant. Of course, she might not even be in a relationship. What a naughty girl she has been, sleeping around like that…"

Chilton's words rang through his head. What if…? What if she _had _found someone else? He tried to fight the bile in his throat and he swallowed hard. Had she really moved on? It now made sense that she had called instead of visiting, making up a lie about Detroit, but had he misread her completely? He'd thought… he'd been _sure _that she liked him. Or maybe… maybe he had imagined the whole thing in his own infatuation with her. His throat tightened.

_Or maybe… _A small voice sounded in his head. _Or maybe the baby is yours…?_

He remained completely still as the thought hit him like a truck running over a deer. No… no…

"Hannibal, if she's all alone, you might still have a chance. _I _might still have a chance, but I'm not sure that I could live with that woman… so _rude. _"

_Alone… all alone…_ Clarice had no one. Hannibal knew that. How could he let her do it alone? To raise a baby as a single mother… If it was his… _if it was his baby_…

He wanted to groan as the pain started in his stomach, but he kept his eyes on Barney. The big orderly looked like he was suffering just as much as Hannibal.

"How does it feel Hannibal?" Chilton asked not really expecting an answer. "How does it feel to know that your girlfriend cheated on you?"

A moment went past where Hannibal tried to breathe normally. Chilton exited the cell, apparently happy with today's work. Hannibal vaguely heard the order to let him out of his restraints as Jim and Dean came hurrying. Chilton walked down the hall and the sound of his footsteps disappeared in the distance. When they released him from the cart, he could feel his legs give out underneath him. Barney caught him and held him up till Hannibal could stand on his own. It was quite normal that he couldn't stand after being restrained, but it hadn't been for very long and he shouldn't be feeling so weak at all. The straightjacket was loosened and the orderlies left the cell.

"Please put your mask and the straightjacket in the drawer Dr. Lecter." Barney spoke with a low tone and Hannibal couldn't look him in the eyes as he took them off. He didn't want to see the pain and the pity.

The orderlies left down the hall and Hannibal stood alone in the middle of his cell.

Clarice was _pregnant?_

* * *

Barney took the mask and the straightjacket from the drawer and glanced back at Dr. Lecter. The man was standing completely still, looking fixedly at the wall. It was better to leave him alone. As they went down the hall, Barney thought about what he'd just witnessed.

Agent Starling was pregnant…

Dr. Lecter had been completely still as Chilton delivered his small speech, but he'd seen it; the small flinch as he'd been told the news. It was just a flinch, but a flinch meant the world to Doctor Hannibal Lecter. Barney had tried to hold the Doctor's gaze during the show, but he'd found his own eyes flicker away too many times. The things Chilton had said… suggested, had been downright cruel.

As they came back to the surveillance room, Barney ignored the others' questions and sat down in the chair that faced the screen that showed Dr. Lecter's cell. He was still standing in middle of the room and Barney knew he hadn't moved an inch. Slowly, as if he had all the time in the world, which he probably did, Dr. Lecter turned around and lay down on the bed. He curled up, his knees nearly touching his chest and his arms covering his head.

And there he stayed.

* * *

Hannibal felt a tremble run up his spine as he drew his knees up to his chest. He ran his hands over his head and rested them there. _How pathetic…_

He hated feeling things. Emotions weren't exactly foreign to him, but for the last few decades not much of them had been left. But he remembered a time; a time where he could barely reach the table and where he'd thought he was safe. It was like being thrown back to childhood and he needed to be in control again. He needed to go back to a time with no Clarice Starling and no basement in Jame Gumb's house.

He took a deep breath.

Why did he get so emotional? There was no reason at all. The child was most likely not his and he'd known all along that Clarice wouldn't stay with him.

_The child was most likely not his…_

Did that mean that he believed Chilton's words? That Clarice _had _slept with someone else? It didn't seem like her… not so soon after him…

But she hadn't been showing and she should be well into the seventh month now if it was his… _But you're not a very big man, are you now, Doctor? And I'm not a very big woman either… the child would be small. _Our _child would be small. _

He needed to be sure though. He needed to be sure and he needed to see her.

As Hannibal tried to be reasonable and suppress those ridiculous emotions, he became embarrassingly aware that a single tear was making its way down his cheek at an alarming rate.

This was wrong. It was all so, so wrong.

Instead, as always, anger was the easiest emotion to handle. But he couldn't move. He couldn't show Chilton exactly how hard his words hit him. Hannibal wanted to throw the chair against the wall; rip it from the floor despite the bolts. He could rip apart his mattress his books and his drawings but in the end, it would only hurt himself.

Righteous, honest Clarice hadn't told him that she was pregnant. She, who told truths like they were nothing, had remained quiet when it mattered most. It didn't sound like her, but then again, as emotional and hormonal as she had been lately, wasn't it very likely that she had kept it secret in some misguided attempt to protect her child? But from whom was she protecting it? Was she afraid that _he _would hurt the baby or was she afraid, someone else would? That someone had been able to hurt him in his own cell and there had been nothing anyone could do about it. The guards were most likely walking free and if people already thought he and Clarice were close… then what about the child she had?

Hannibal wanted to rip something apart; anything, but he gritted his teeth and sunk his hands into the blanket. Images of blood and tearing flesh flashed through his mind and he felt his mouth watering. People would want to hurt the baby and whether Clarice had realized that it wasn't _him _that she should protect the baby from but the others, didn't matter to them or him. Anger coursed through his veins at the thought of her denial and stupidity, but most of all, he wanted to feed Mason Verger to the dogs all over again.

But there wasn't anything he could do in here to feel better; no outlet, no nothing.

And if the baby was his?

There wasn't anything he could do about it from in here either…

* * *

Oh fuck!

Clarice was pacing her room with her hand covering her mouth. Oh fuck... What had she done? No, she hadn't done anything. Chilton had. That despicable man had probably gone back to the Asylum and thrown it right in the face of Hannibal. And what would he do? He would get furious… she'd lied to him so much lately. And what would he think? Oh fuck…

Doctor Hannibal Lecter wasn't stupid…

She sat down on the bed with a sob. He would guess it right away. It would be his first question when she saw him again.

_Is it mine?_

She could hear his metallic rasp ask with wide eyes as he looked at her swollen belly. But what if she didn't go? She had no obligation to him. The only thing she had to do was call him in two weeks and pretend she had never seen Dr. Chilton.

But he wouldn't believe a word she said and if she kept lying, it would be the end of whatever friendship that resided between them. _Friendship… _Doctor Hannibal Lecter didn't have friends. He was a monster, but what did that make her? She remembered the names that she'd been called when she first visited him. Frankenstein's Bride… And what about her baby? She ran a hand over her stomach. If people knew… They could never have a normal life. Fuck…

Hannibal was the only one who knew that he could be the father and he wouldn't tell anyone, would he? He wouldn't try to get some kind of right to see the child, would he? Clarice stretched her hand out to the phone. She could call now and ask to talk with him, but wouldn't Chilton think it was a bit weird that she cared so much about Hannibal hearing that she was pregnant? Probably…

She let her hand fall to her side. Maybe she should just act normal and call him in two weeks. If he asked about the child, she would be truthful, wouldn't she? She only had to say yes when he asked if he was the father. Say yes and then tell him that he couldn't tell on them. He'd understand.

Why would Dr. Lecter want to claim a child anyway? He'd never showed any interest in children and if he'd wanted to, he could have married some woman had a bunch of them. It would have helped his cover. It would have made him look more normal if he had a family. He'd have no interest in a child much less a baby. Clarice was sure he wouldn't want anything to do with her baby, but he'd love to see her fall, wouldn't he? To say he was the father and see all her ambitions ripped away underneath her. Or so would Mr. Crawford have thought.

It wasn't the Hannibal she had got to know. To start with, he'd been just like Crawford had described but slowly, he'd opened up to her. He was courteous and he had respect. The more Clarice thought about it, the surer she became. Hannibal would never ruin her life in that way. He might even offer to help out in some fashion. But how he would react to the news of a child, how he would feel… Clarice had no idea.

Would he be happy or even care in the slightest?

He might feel obligated to do something. He did have some firm rules about what was right and what was wrong…

Clarice's hand hovered over the phone.

She too had some firm rules about right and wrong.

But she wasn't stupid either.

**A/N:**

**What is it with the short chapters lately? **

**I left you with a cliffhanger last time and we needed the resolution. It was a bit short. Sorry XD **

**I really need to think about what's going to happen next and this time I'm going to let you guys decide.**

**Should she wait two weeks to be safe from suspicion or follow her moral code and call now? **

**What would Clarice do?**

**I really have no idea, but the conversation, two weeks later or not would still be the same. **

**These last few chapters have come pretty quick together on the expense of my other story, so I'll dedicate some time to it while I figure out how to approach the situation in this story. I do have a fair few scenarios in mind, but the timing needs to be right.**

**Did anyone notice that Dr. Lecter doesn't refer to the baby as his when thinking about it? It's just **_**the **_**baby. I once heard a saying that men don't become fathers till they see the child, but since I'm neither a dude nor a parent… he was pretty hard to write. I don't think he would become so emotional that he would start sympathizing with the child or imagining the child as his. He is far too objective. Whatever feelings he has, are for Clarice and only her at the moment. Of course, I intend to change that. He knows what a child means to a mother and in that regard, he doesn't want anything bad to happen to the child and thus upsetting Clarice. **

**I'll spare you from the lecture on his feelings… I was getting caught up in explaining something that I really should be showing through the story. If I need to explain then it means that I'm not doing my job good enough XD**

**Till next time!**

**Firebolt**

**BTW**

**Thoughts on Mads Mikkelsen as Hannibal? I'm excited, don't know about you guys….**


	11. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: All the characters in here belong to Thomas Harris.**

**A/N:**

**Thanks for the reviews guys. You're great :)**

Chapter Ten

_Clarice's hand hovered over the phone. _

_She too had some firm rules about right and wrong._

_But she wasn't stupid either._

Clarice picked up the mouthpiece.

The word _damage-control _was running through her head. She knew exactly what she should say if anyone thought her calling Hannibal was weird in the slightest. With a deep breath, she dialed the number to the Asylum and hoped that she wouldn't have to be put through Dr. Chilton.

She closed her eyes in relief as a young receptionist answered and put her through to the basement levels. Another receptionist spoke to her and asked some questions, but eventually; Barney picked up the phone.

"Hello Agent Starling."

"Hi Barney." Hearing his voice made her feel better instantaneously. "Are you authorized to let me speak with Dr. Lecter?"

"Yeah, sure I am." His voice was low. "I don't mean to pry… but you're calling because of Dr. Chilton, right?"

"Yes. Yes I am."

"And… is it true?"

"What part?"

"About the baby?"

Clarice knew what he was going to ask, but it still sent a surge of adrenaline through her. She bit her lip and smiled into the mouthpiece "Yes, I'm having a baby."

"I'm happy for you." Clarice could hear the melancholy in his voice.

"But what?"

"But Dr. Lecter didn't take the news too well."

"I figured…" Clarice glanced at the green teddy bear on her nightstand that she'd bought the day that she'd told her doctor that she was keeping her child. "What did Dr. Chilton say exactly?"

"He made a big show out of it. You know him. He was his usual self, trying to get a rise out of Dr. Lecter."

Barney was definitely holding something back, and Clarice was smart enough to know that it was the way Dr. Chilton had tried to get a rise out of Hannibal. She couldn't really imagine what he might have said, but she gathered that it probably wasn't very nice.

"Can I talk to him?"

"Sure, hang on, I'll ask him."

She heard the click as she was put on hold. Thoughts were swimming through her head, running in circles and jumping in the wrong directions like a rabbit with a waistcoat. What was she going to tell him? He was going to be so angry and talking with him was going to be even harder when she couldn't even see his face. What if the line was monitored? A microphone in Hannibal's mouthpiece would do the trick… he'd realize that, right? Maybe it would have been best if she'd just gone there instead…. But then she remembered that even his room was probably bugged. This conversation was not going to be easy.

It took a while before Barney came back and she knew in the instant that she heard the tone of his voice that things weren't turning out the way she had hoped.

"Agent Starling?"

"Yes, I'm here."

"I'm sorry." He hesitated. "Dr. Lecter can't come to the phone at the moment."

"Oh…"

"He's not responding when I talk to him… it happens a lot. It looks like he's sleeping but I know he's not. I don't know when he'll snap out of it."

Clarice hung her head as her stomach clenched in disappointment. She couldn't know of course that Hannibal Lecter often got lost in his own thoughts and it felt personal as tears of rejection sprung to her eyes. Fuck Hannibal Lecter. Fuck it all. She swallowed her growing anger and clutched the mouthpiece firmly.

"Tell him I called then." She spoke, nearly trembling. "If he wants to talk, let me know. I'll call…"

The last part was spoken as an afterthought.

"I'll let him know."

"Thanks Barney."

As the big orderly hung up, Clarice sat down on the bed, clutching the green teddy bear to her swollen tummy. Maybe he _was _actually asleep, and Barney would call her tomorrow and schedule a phone call for her, but another part of her was sending chills down her spine. He was a sociopath… he'd probably resent her for this or find it highly amusing… Maybe he simply didn't want to deal with her and the baby. Amidst her thoughts, she suddenly felt something weird and looked down at her stomach.

Did the baby just move?

* * *

Barney felt completely lost.

It had been two weeks since Agent Starling had called him about speaking with Dr. Lecter, but so far, he hadn't been able to call her back.

Dr. Lecter hadn't snapped out of it.

The big orderly was currently walking down the hall, ignoring the other inmates as he aimed for the glass secured cell. Behind him, Dean and Jim were bringing the cart and the tranquilizer; it was time for Dr. Lecter's bath. Barney was afraid it would turn out like last time, where Dr. Lecter had just stood under the water, not even attempting to wash himself off. He'd been forced to handcuff him and suspend his arms towards the ceiling with a chain. The hose had been brought forward and they had scrubbed him the best they could. Barney could have sworn that Dr. Lecter became himself for a moment as he looked up in confusion only to stare at the floor till it was over.

It was the procedure they'd used with prisoners like Miggs, but Dr. Lecter had always been well behaved enough to be left alone in the showers. Bath time was quite frankly a lesser entertaining part of the job if you asked Barney, as he remembered how most prisoners came out of the showers with an erection. Some were embarrassed by it… other's weren't.

Dr. Lecter had never been one of those prisoners.

It pained Barney that he'd been forced to chain Dr. Lecter in the showers. It wasn't right, much less when Dr. Lecter had seemed surprised when they turned on the hose. He hadn't even realized where he was.

They halted in front of the cell and Barney sighed as he saw Dr. Lecter lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling. His cell looked the same as always, but there were no books laying open, indicating that he had been reading and the bundles of letters on his desk told Barney that he hadn't been dealing with his mail either. The walls held the exact same drawings as last week and the half-finished cathedral that he'd been working on two weeks ago hadn't been touched.

"Dr. Lecter." Barney started, waiting a moment to see if he would get a response. When none came, he continued. "It's time for your bath. You know the drill."

The doctor didn't react till Barney sent through the straightjacket and the mask. At the sound of the sliding food tray moving, he turned his head and lifted himself off the bed to stand up. His movements were slow, but Barney still found it himself to be patient and when he was finally ready, they moved him to the cart.

It wasn't a new thing that Dr. Lecter didn't respond. He'd once gone several weeks like this, but this time… Barney was slightly annoyed. He didn't know why, but it had something to do with the phone call to Agent Starling. Something told Barney that it was very important. As he rolled the cart into an elevator, he wondered if Dr. Lecter would have thought so himself if he wasn't so caught up in whatever he was doing. He'd once asked Dr. Lecter, what he was thinking about when he became like that. Something pleasant, he'd said.

Barney wondered what _pleasant _meant in Dr. Lecter's world.

The shower room consisted of two chambers; one where the subject would undress and the orderlies would wait in and then the actual shower where the subject could have some privacy. The shower itself was a big room with a chain hanging from the ceiling out of reach and a locked box that contained the hose. It was as big as the showers that Barney could remember from High School.

Dr. Lecter was released from the cart and his straight jacket was loosened. He took it off himself along with his mask. He seemed lucid enough to understand that he was supposed to undress and enter the shower room. Barney followed quietly and stood by the wall outside the chamber. There was no door, but as long as the patient didn't take one of the shower heads directly in front of the hole in the wall, he'd be out of sight and receive some privacy. Dr. Lecter always took the one to the far right and as Barney stood still, holding his breath and hoping Dr. Lecter didn't forget where he was again, he heard the water turn on. So far so good.

Barney poked his head into the shower room and saw Dr. Lecter stand under the water spray. He wasn't moving… The big orderly counted the seconds as his stomach churned. He _did not _want to do this. As the count reached thirty, Dr. Lecter suddenly snapped his head up. His eyes moved around the room and found the soap dispenser that was built into the wall. It was with a sigh of relief that Barney saw him press the button and start soaping himself in.

He leaned back and looked at Jim and Dean.

"He's good."

Dean looked positively relieved. He had been shocked last time when Barney had ordered Dr. Lecter chained to the ceiling. It was notsomething that the young man had anticipated. Barney would have done it again if it was necessary, you see, there was a special reason for Dr. Lecter's shower today.

Agent Starling was coming.

* * *

Clarice was nervous.

She kept trying to flatten out the nonexistent creases in her new dress that she'd bought last week when she felt angry and frustrated. It hadn't really helped her mood at the time, but it made her feel better now, as she looked herself over in the mirror. It was a nice summer dress that had been on sale as the spring collection hit the stores. The white fabric was covered in a pattern of small, red flowers and it reminded her of something a little girl might wear. It hung loose on her except for across the chest where her growing bosom stretched the fabric and her stomach was now so big that she couldn't help feel bad as she was reminded of a tent. But it was the best she could do.

The late afternoon traffic delayed her as she drove to Baltimore, but it still felt far too early as she drove into the parking lot of the Asylum. It had been a while since she was last there, but not a thing had changed as she looked at the looming building. She took her bag from the passenger seat and went in. People were glancing at her curiously as she walked down the hall. Their eyes fell to her stomach and she ignored them the best she could. Clarice had made sure to check that Dr. Chilton wasn't in today and walked past his office without halting.

Her arms were wrapped around her belly by the time she reached the elevator. To hell with the rules; she wasn't going to use the stairs. As she went down, she could feel the tears press on. What if he didn't want to talk to her? Barney hadn't called her back and she knew Dr. Lecter hadn't wanted to talk to her. When she'd called to make the appointment to come today, another orderly had picked up the phone and told her that she was welcome, but that Dr. Lecter currently wasn't speaking to his visitors. She had to try though. She had to try.

"Hello Agent Starling." Barney was smiling as he saw her, his eyes moving from her stomach to her face. "I wasn't going to believe it till I saw it. Congratulations."

"Thank you Barney." Clarice couldn't help but grin as his calming presence made her feel better.

"How have you been?"

"You're asking a pregnant lady how she's been?" Clarice shook her head. "My life is an emotional rollercoaster Barney so watch it."

"Sorry Agent Starling." Barney didn't sound very apologetic. "Do you want to see Dr. Lecter?"

Clarice felt her smile falter. She was suddenly reminded why she was here exactly and it left a bitter taste in her mouth. Barney sighed as he saw her expression and Clarice avoided his eyes.

"How has he been?"

"He hasn't talked with anyone for two weeks. We simply don't know." Barney turned around to the screen behind him and Clarice's eyes followed his gaze. It was the security footage of Hannibal's cell and it showed him lying on his bed, gazing at the ceiling. He wasn't moving. "He eats his food and he goes to the toilet. I'm not even sure he knows that you've called."

"Do you think he'll talk with me?" Clarice bit her lip, feeling her eyes moisten. She held her bag against her stomach as if it could comfort her.

"I think you should try." Barney led her to the barred door. "If anyone could make him talk, it would be you."

Clarice nodded as he let her through. There was something very intimidating about walking down a hall filled with the criminally insane. As usual, mostly thanks to Miggs's quick end, none of them said anything to her, but she felt their eyes move over her body. None of them seemed the least bit surprised to see a pregnant lady there, as if it was the most normal thing in the asylum and that it happened every day. She could smell the disinfectants and the sour smell of antipsychotic medication and it made her nauseous. She was flooded with relief as she came to the end of the hall where an air vent sent a cold wind against her. The chair was there and as she turned around to the cell, it nearly seemed empty. Hannibal wasn't standing up to greet her.

Instead, he was on his cot and his eyes were closed. A small crinkle could be seen in his eyebrows as he breathed in deeply through his nose. His body was trembling as he breathed in again.

"Hannibal?"

She would have thought he was sleeping, maybe caught up in a nightmare, but as she said his name, something happened. His head turned and his eyes shot wide open.

* * *

Hannibal Lecter was awake.

He'd been caught up in his thoughts when he first noticed a smell. Something familiar that was moving towards him. At first, he'd ignored it and turned back to his fantasy. It was a good one, like the thousands of fantasies before. He was a free man in this one. Hannibal was holding a small child and standing by a lake house, overlooking the water. The others were similar, though in some, he was still in the Asylum and managed to find his way out. Mason Verger usually ended up less than happy in those. But the familiar scent had been persistent and he felt his brow furrow as he remembered where he was.

_That perfume…_

His whole body was tense as he was thrown back to his cell from the lake house and felt the presence of someone outside it. Not someone, _her._

He started trembling as he realized who was there. Her scent was intoxicating and his mouth dried. His hands curled into fists as she said his name and he snapped his head in her direction, opening eyes.

What met him was stunning.

_Clarice Starling…_

She was staring down at him, dressed in a white dress with little, red flowers and a black handbag that he'd seen before. She was clutching it to her stomach; right under it to be precise thus the dress was hugging her belly, showing it off completely

_Her belly…_

If his mouth hadn't been dry before, it definitely was now. His heart was beating against his ribcage as his lips parted, forming a small "o". He lifted his gaze to her eyes and saw fear; pure fear.

Hannibal tried to be graceful as he stood up, facing her, but he felt weak. Why did he feel so weak? His heart wasn't slowing down as he'd anticipated; instead it picked up speed as he came face to face with her. His palms felt sweaty and his teeth were grit so hard that he doubted he could speak. A knot formed at the bottom of his stomach as his eyes fell to her stomach again and he blinked, looking back at her. Clarice looked close to tears and suddenly he felt an urge to smash through the glass and take her into his arms. It wouldn't do…

"Clarice…" He started. What did he say? Thousands of questions were storming through his mind and he very well knew which one he wanted to ask, but all of a sudden he couldn't. When her name hung in the air between them and Hannibal couldn't continue, Clarice spoke instead.

"Are you mad?"

Her voice was tentative and he realized exactly who she was afraid of. As he tried to analyze his own feelings, he suddenly remembered the answer to the question. He understood why she had kept it secret. Brave Clarice was scared. He shook his head and mouthed "No."

Clarice took a deep breath and he knew she was relieved. The question must have been at the forefront of her mind for a while… A while? Hannibal avoided her eyes as he looked at his desk. The letters were stacked in four piles and his brow furrowed.

"What day is it today?" The question left him before he could stop himself and he saw the small smile on Clarice's lips. _He _didn't find it very amusing.

"Friday the 2'Th."

"Of September, I assume?"

"Yes… it is."

September… How could he lose track of time like that? He felt slightly disoriented, but he forced his eyes away from his mail and regretted it immediately a he was staring at her belly. Wherever he looked, there were more questions. He kept his eyes on the flowery pattern of her dress, memorizing it as he stared at the proof of her pregnancy. Dr. Chilton had been speaking the truth it seemed, or at least, some of it.

"I called you." Her voice was weak as he snapped his head up. Her blue eyes were filled with unshed tears and it was with a surge of adrenalin that he remembered how much pregnant women tend to cry. His tried to swallow but there was no spit in his mouth.

"I didn't know."

"Barney said you were unresponsive."

"I was somewhere else, yes." He couldn't have been completely unresponsive, he thought, if he'd been gone for nearly two weeks and he didn't feel hungry and with a small sniff, he concluded that the small glimpse of memory of a shower had to be true as well.

A moment of silence passed between them. Hannibal was once again eyeing her belly as if something might jump out of it anytime, but his heartbeat was slowly stilling and he dried his palms against his jumpsuit.

"How are you?" He finally started, trying to avoid all the questions that he _really _wanted to ask.

Clarice shrugged her shoulder. "The nausea passed some time ago… I mean, you're a Doctor, you know how I feel."

Hannibal nodded, suddenly feeling twinge of guilt. Of course he knew how she felt and she knew that he knew. She was looking right through him and she was waiting for him to ask what they both knew he wanted to. His heartbeat picked up speed again and he motioned for her to move closer as he walked up to the glass, nearly pressing his lips against it. There was no knowing who might be listening in. Clarice had her ear pressed to the glass as he spoke.

"Is it mine?"

He leaned back to see her reaction. Her eyes closed briefly and he could see the hitch as her breath caught in her throat. She turned her head slowly.

"Yes…"

A single word was all it took.

Hannibal's stomach did a double take and a smile broke out on his face. He took a deep breath and nearly bumped into the glass as he took a step forward. He wanted to hug her, hold her, touch her stomach and her face, but then reality hit.

His breath turned shallow as he lowered his gaze to the floor. Hannibal covered his mouth with his hand as his smile dropped and the tears threatened to fall. He stepped back, away from the glass and seated himself on his bed. His throat was clenching painfully and his stomach was threatening to jump out. He hung his head between his knees for a moment before he straightened up and looked back at her.

Clarice's eyes were wide as she watched him and her fingers were pressed lightly against the glass. Hannibal took a deep breath, holding her gaze. She was sad.

"I'm sorry Clarice."

"What's done is done." She said and he felt better when he saw the small smile that tugged at the corners of her lips.

"Do you love it?" He suddenly asked. The words had stumbled out of his mouth as soon as they'd entered his mind. What if she didn't love it? It was _his _baby… what if she didn't like that?

"Of course I do."

"I'm sorry." He said again. It was _his _baby. And here he was. In an Asylum.

"What for Hannibal?" Sadness. She had to know the answer to that question, he thought.

"Everything." He couldn't say too much. Dr. Chilton could have a bug in here and the camera might be on low volume inside the orderlies' room but it still picked up everything they said. "You're alone, aren't you?"

"I have my best friend. She's going to help."

Hannibal nodded, looking at the floor.

"Do you need anything?" He asked. Clarice was a very proud girl and she probably wouldn't accept his money… but he had to ask. Being a mother did change things.

"I can manage on my own."

There it was; _the pride. _Hannibal shook his head in amusement. Nothing had changed.

"Don't hesitate to ask." He felt better, as if he had been preparing himself for the shock since he found out she was pregnant. But he hadn't been prepared for the initial happiness that he'd felt and the sorrow that quickly followed. He'd felt normal for a moment; like a normal man who'd been told he was going to be a father, but then he'd brushed against the glass and he'd been thrown back to reality. He was _never _going to be a father.

With a sigh, he got up and walked towards Clarice again. Her fingers were still touching the glass and he lifted his hand, pressing his fingertips against hers. He could only feel the cold glass.

"I'm sorry." Her voice was filled with sadness and he glanced from their fingers to her eyes.

"What for?"

"I should have told you."

"You couldn't know who might have been listening." He said. "You should remember that. You can't tell anyone, you realize that, right? They won't accept it. They won't accept me and they definitely won't accept the baby…"

"I know…" Her breath hitched and he leaned his forehead against the cold glass, closing his eyes. He couldn't do anything to make her feel better. They were very close and he knew no one could pick up on their conversation at that exact moment.

"I can't be the baby's father…"

"I know…"

"You will still tell me, though, everything?" He asked with closed eyes. "The first step, words… if the baby is smart...we're friends… people might think it's weird but they won't stop a proud mother from talking about her baby, will they now? You will be proud, right?"

"I will be proud." She said quietly. "But some day… I might not be able to come anymore. It's a job. The FBI wouldn't allow me to come anymore if they told me to stop."

"Then write me a letter."

"I can't promise that."

Hannibal leaned away. His eyes were closed and they were burning. He walked over to his cot and he sat down again. He knew that she was right but it still made his lips form a thin line as his throat clenched in rejection. It was his baby and then again… it wasn't.

It wasn't as if Hannibal _wanted _to be a father. He'd never imagined himself in that role, but now… Memories of his own childhood flooded his mind and with Clarice's situation… It didn't seem that farfetched at all. But he couldn't and he shouldn't. No one would accept or tolerate a child of his and Clarice was much better off without him.

He heard the barred door at the end of the hall open and then close as he was left alone once again.

To be, or not to be, that is the question.

And as it was, it seemed that Hannibal Lecter _was not _a father.

**A/N:**

**Poor Hannibal… and I'm pretty sure Clarice feels shitty as well. **

**Please Review. I'm not at all sure if the conversation turned out as it should.**

**I finally acquired the books in English, so some of my words might change, like the sliding food tray has been called drawer so far… yeah, shitty translation on my behalf, sorry XD**

**I tried reading them in Danish, but it sounded so stupid that I gave up and had to order them in English. We can pretty much say that this story is based on the movies ^^ I've respected some things like Hannibal's eyes and fingers because it makes the story more fun to write. **

**Btw, don't buy the audiobooks on Itunes, they cut out half of the story… never been more pissed. **

**Firebolt**


	12. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: All the characters in here belong to Thomas Harris.**

**A/N:  
Thanks for the reviews :P**

**I thought it might be time for a more cheerful chapter…**

**Enjoy!**

Chapter Eleven

Clarice was padding around the house in her bathrobe.

The early October sun was shining through the windows, using its last strength to warm up the small living room. The pale blue bathrobe she wore stretched across her stomach and could barely reach her thighs. She had a cup of milk in her hand and managed to get around the coffee table to seat herself in the couch. With a grunt of effort, she swung her legs up and placed her feet on a pillow. Lying on the couch, she felt much better. Fact was that Clarice Starling had sore feet and it wasn't about to get better anytime soon.

She took the nearest book and started reading. Actually, things weren't all that bad, when she thought about it. Jack Crawford had finally put his foot down and demanded that she took maternity leave. The relief that passed over his face when she agreed was priceless. She had to agree with him, when he said that she was becoming too big to work. It had been several weeks since she had been able to sit comfortably at a desk. At the end, she could barely reach the typing machine. Now though, she was enjoying her well-earned break in peace.

Then Ardelia woke.

Whatever peace that had been in the house was immediately disrupted as she stumbled out of bed, mumbling to herself about being late. Clarice looked at her watch and smirked. Ardelia was nowhere near late, but it was a recurring nightmare she had and once again, she'd woken to believe it was true.

She heard a groan from the bedroom down the hall. Ardelia had come to the same conclusion.

"Morning Delia, slept well?" Clarice asked as her friend stuck her head into the living room. She just groaned and turned around, heading for the fridge.

"Did you eat all the cereal?" from the tone of Ardelia's voice, Clarice gathered that she wasn't happy about it.

"Sorry!" Clarice yelled from the couch. "I was hungry…"

Another groan from Ardelia followed and the noise as she started rummaging through the cupboards, looking for anything eatable. She didn't get very far as the doorbell suddenly went off.

"I'll get it." Ardelia said unnecessarily. They both knew that as soon as Clarice was seated on the couch that she wouldn't get up anytime soon. She heard the door open and then Ardelia's voice talking politely with someone outside. Clarice looked up as she stuck her head inside. "Jeez Clarice, you better come see this…"

With a frown, Clarice pushed herself off the couch and waddled to the front door. Two men dressed in uniforms stood outside.

"Are you Clarice M. Starling?" The pale, tall one asked.

"Yes, yes I am." She had noticed the small embroidery on their uniform that wrote the name of a delivery company.

"We've got a delivery for you and we wondered where we should put it."

"I'm not expecting anything…"

"We were told you might say that. We have a card for you."

The tall man withdrew an envelope from his pocket and Clarice's heart skipped a beat as she recognized the writing from her extensive research on one Dr. Hannibal Lecter. The envelope was made of soft paper and Clarice didn't doubt that Hannibal would have preferred to write on something more luxurious. Ardelia looked at her curiously as she quickly stuck it in the pocket of her bathrobe.

"Thanks…" She said weakly to the men. "Do you know what's in the package?"

"Oh, it's not a package mam." The smaller of the men said. "It's a nice piece of furniture if you ask me."

Furniture…? What the fuck was Hannibal thinking? Hadn't she told him that she didn't want anything from him? As the men carried the delivery out of their truck, she must say, her breath caught in her throat. She was able to see it more closely as they carried it to the front step. It was an old fashioned cradle. It looked like it was handmade and the brown wood had been bent so the cradle could rock the child to sleep. She covered her mouth with her hand as she hid her smile. It was absolutely gorgeous.

"Where should we put it mam?"

"In here please." Clarice padded down the hall and opened the door to her second room in the duplex. It had been emptied and Ardelia had been attempting to paint it green, but she was nowhere near finished. They put it in the middle of the room and asked her to sign a slip of paper which she did gladly. Ardelia showed them out as Clarice gazed at the cradle.

She ran a finger over the wood and felt the smooth surface. It had been treated with some kind of oil or substance and it didn't look like there was any danger of splinters. A hand sewn mattress was lying on the bottom and a broad band of white silk had been woven between the boundary stakes so the infant couldn't stick its hands out.

Ardelia cleared her throat as she came in the door.

"Who's it from?" She asked as she came in, touching the silk lightly.

It only took Clarice a moment to consider it, before she answered.

"Hannibal Lecter."

Ardelia snatched her hand back as if she had been burned. Her eyes were wide and her lips parted in shock.

"Hannibal the Cannibal…?" She asked incredulously. "You're accepting a gift from Hannibal the fucking Cannibal?"

Clarice tried not to wince at his nickname and nodded her head. She couldn't just send it back, could she now? Besides, she had no idea who'd made it and where it came from. She bit her lip, avoiding Ardelia's eyes.

"Well…" Her friend started, sensing she had said something wrong and not really wishing to deal with a crying, pregnant woman. "He has good taste."

"Yeah, he does." Clarice said with a light smile.

"What does the letter say?"

"I haven't read it yet…" Clarice suddenly wanted to be left alone. There was no knowing what he might have written in it.

"Are you even allowed to receive gifts from him?"

Clarice's brow furrowed. That was a good question, but a response quickly formed in her mind. "I think so, yes. His case is closed and I'm not involved in it. We're two private persons."

"Sounds legit."

"Yeah..." Clarice smiled as she looked down at the cradle. She couldn't get herself to become angry with Hannibal at ignoring her words as she looked at how cute it was.

"Jesus!" Ardelia yelled. Clarice glanced back at her and saw her friend staring at her watch. "I'm late."

She laughed as Ardelia ran out of the room and slammed the door to her bathroom. It was with a sigh of relief though that she was left alone. Her hand went to her pocket and she felt the letter against her thigh. She slipped her fingers around it and took it out, glancing at her name written elegantly on the white envelope. There was only one piece of paper and she unfolded it, letting the empty envelope fall into the crib.

_Dear Clarice_

_I realize that you do not wish anything of me, but please accept this gift of congratulations as much for yourself as for your child. I apologize for going against your words but I simply cannot let this event go without showing the affection I hold for you in my heart. _

_Our acquaintance has been brief and limited but I still feel that I know you well and with that in mind, I can only assure you that you will be a wonderful mother. It will do you good to have a lamb that you can save every day for the rest of your life. _

_I have one wish though that I cannot help but ask of you. When you rock your child to sleep at night and tell of the monster under the bed and the thing in the closet, do not let it be me. Don't let me be the thing that rips your child from the sweet embrace of Morpheus in the middle of the night. Please, do not hide me in the closet or under the bed. It will do no one any good._

_In time, I expect my name will slip over your lips and call me an old friend. I hope so. Even grown children might sleep with the light on._

_I hope to see you soon_

_Your devoted friend_

_Hannibal _

By the time she'd finished reading the letter, Ardelia had left the house and she was once again alone. A breeze came through the open gap in the window and she drew the bathrobe closer around her. Her throat felt dry and her eyes prickled. She took the envelope from the cradle and folded the letter together. Her sore feet brought her back to her room and she placed the letter in a small wooden box that was standing on a shelf. His words had been kind but they still left a bitter taste in her mouth. The message was clear.

Don't tell the baby about him till it was old enough.

She had of course thought about this before. What did she tell the baby? _Who is my daddy? Where is he? _She could already hear the questions and it made her angry. This wasn't her fault! Well… yes it was… never mind.

She sat down on the bed with a sigh. Clarice had thought the dilemma over many times but none of the scenarios she had envisioned included not talking about Hannibal _at all. _But how could he expect that of her? Her name had been forever immortalized by the papers alongside his and still he expected the child to be innocent of all the evil their lives had contained.

It was a sweet dream, but just that; a dream.

The day would come where her child would hear his name and learn who he was before the time was right. Her baby might live for years knowing him only as a monster before she could know that he was its father.

Clarice did not look forward to that conversation…

With a sigh of resignation, she smiled at the thought that everything would turn out just fine. She got up and went back to the couch where she had left her milk and her book and lied down as if nothing had happened that morning. It was already October and she bit her lip as she remembered what the end of this month would bring. God, she hoped it would turn out okay.

There had been a few conditions to her maternity leave, which Crawford hadn't been able to refuse her. One was that she could make one last visit to the Asylum before the baby arrived. Dr. Lecter already knew she was pregnant, she told him; they might as well show him that she was devoted to their friendship despite that.

It was therefore with a grim expression that Jack Crawford arrived at her door later that day.

"I don't like this." He told her as he offered her his arm. "I don't like this one bit."

Crawford had offered to drive as Clarice told him that she had trouble reaching the pedals when she adjusted the seat to make room for her belly. He'd blushed and nearly stammered when he tried to make a firm voice and tell her that he was going to drive. It was actually kind of sweet.

He wasn't the talkative type and Clarice didn't bother with conversation as they made their way towards Baltimore. She knew his wife had died, but when she thought about it, she didn't really know much else about him. There were a few awkward attempts at small talk from him, as he asked her how far they'd come with the nursery. When she told him that they still needed to paint it and move in the furniture, he hesitantly told her that he would come by this weekend if she wanted him to. She glanced at him tentatively when he asked and saw the dark circles under his eyes but also the pink sheen to his cheeks that hadn't been there only moments before.

She told him it would be nice even though it sent a twinge of pain to her stomach.

They arrived at the Asylum by the time the sun was well into the sky. Crawford told her that he had a few errands to run, but that he would be back to pick her up within the hour. If she went into labor or something stupid, she should leave a message with Dr. Chilton.

Clarice had made sure Dr. Chilton wasn't in today.

It was therefore with a smile that Clarice entered the big building and proceeded towards the elevator when she heard a familiar voice behind her.

"Agent Starling…"

The big orderly called Barney came walking towards her with hasty steps. He smiled as he saw her.

"Oh, hello Barney…"

"Good day Agent Starling." He stopped as he reached her. "Could you please follow me, Dr. Lecter isn't in his cell at the moment."

"Of course Barney…" Clarice felt her heart skip a beat. "There isn't something wrong, is there?"

"No no." He said, offering his arm for her support. "He's simply in the gym hall. Not that he does much else than walk around…"

"I didn't know you had a gym hall?"

"Sure we do." Barney led her down the hall. "Dr. Lecter just hasn't been able to use it much lately."

They walked through the Asylum, passing one grey hall after another and ignoring the stares from both patients and staff. They reached a pair of big metal doors as they ascended a flight of stairs and Barney opened them for her. It was a big hall where light came in from windows in the ceiling, but several artificial light sources could also be seen. A thick, metal wire was attached to the ceiling and it led down to Hannibal, who had his hands cuffed on his back and his feet were in chains as well. He was wearing no mask and he smiled as he saw her.

"Clarice." He greeted, walking towards her. The wire stopped him just as he reached the thick, red line on the floor that formed a large circle in the room. He looked at the big orderly beside her. "Thank you Barney, it was nice of you to bring her. Please excuse us."

As Barney walked away, he returned his gaze to her. "Walk with me Clarice…"

They walked in silence for a while, Clarice struggling to keep up as her back started to hurt. Hannibal stopped as they neared the middle of the room, furthest away from the orderlies, who all carried tranquilizer today. She could feel his eyes dance over her body and lingering at her belly.

"You're beautiful." He said, as if he was stating a matter of fact. Clarice could feel a small blush creep into her cheeks.

"Thank you Hannibal."

"Did you get my gift?"

"Yes, thank you." Clarice smiled at the thought of the cradle that was now standing in the small nursery.

"I hope it wasn't too much, I did consider something less extravagant but it didn't fall right with me."

"I'm sure the baby will sleep well in it."

"Yes. Tell me, did you tell Crawford about the gift? Surely he would be curious."

"It's none of his business." Clarice said firmly only to see him smirk.

"Quite right."

Clarice could feel the pain in her back worsen by the minute, but she ignored it as she studied Hannibal's face. He was watching her curiously as he saw her eyes linger on him. He licked his lips and lowered his eyes. There was a healthy color to his cheeks and his frame seemed broader as if he'd gained weight again. He looked good.

"Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?" He asked suddenly. Clarice shrugged and then shook her head.

"It's going to be a surprise." She smiled at her own words.

"Indeed it will." He leaned forward. "You will know soon enough. Within this month, am I correct?"

Clarice would have answered but only managed a small nod as she yelped and looked down at her stomach.

"What is it?" She smiled as she heard the hidden panic in his voice.

"The baby just kicked. Oh, and it did it again…"

The way his eyes widened made her laugh and he took a step back in embarrassment, looking at the guards. Clarice shook her head in amusement as he looked back at her with parted lips.

"Do you want to feel it?" She asked but her smile slipped as she realized where they were. Hannibal blinked.

"They'll shoot me if you step over the line…"

"I'm sorry…"

"Don't be." He smiled. "This is still better than my cell."

Clarice put her hands over her stomach as the baby continued to be restless. Hannibal was following her movements with his eyes and blinked once when he heard her breath hitch at a kick from the baby.

"Have you thought about names?" He asked after a moment of silence.

"Yeah… Alex."

"Just Alex?" He asked, raising an eyebrow, clearly not agreeing with the choice. "Please, do tell me it's short for something.

"It is." She could feel a pout forming. Why was it so important that he should agree on it anyway? "It's short for Alexander, as in Alexander the Great. If it's a girl, it will be Alexandria… It reminded me of Hannibal the Conqueror…"

"Oh…" His eyes shone as he licked his lips. "Thank you…"

"I don't know why they remind me of each other…" She mumbled, feeling embarrassed at having told him. "I guess they're both big men, warriors…"

"I understand." His voice was raw and the metallic rasp seemed more prominent. "I like it…"

They heard the metal door open and someone stepped in to talk to Barney. The big orderly nodded and turned around to them as the stranger left.

"Your ride is here Agent Starling." He spoke loudly and his voice echoed through the room.

"One moment Barney!" She yelled back.

Hannibal raised an eyebrow. "Your ride?"

"Yes, I can't drive anymore… Jack Crawford brought me."

His lips formed a thin line. "Crawford? Do tell me you haven't taken him up on his offer. He does quite fancy you. And since his wife has died…"

The distaste in his voice was evident but he kept his tone civil. She could still feel the bile rise in her throat though and her anger rose "If you're insinuating anything Hannibal, then tell it to my face! He's my boss and I need help! It's not like I have anyone else I can ask!"

She could feel the tears press on and a sob forced its way out of her mouth. Hannibal stood completely still as she started crying, but his tone was gentle as he spoke again. "I'm sorry Clarice. I shouldn't have said that…"

"No you shouldn't…" She gasped as she found a tissue in her bag. "He offered to paint the nursery and I said yes. I want it done before the baby is born. I didn't think it would be a good idea to tell you and I was right…"

"Do you like him?"

The question sounded innocent enough, but she knew he was awaiting the answer like a man on death row would await the needle. "Don't be ridiculous. He loves his wife and he's my boss."

"His wife is dead…"

She dried her eyes in the tissue. "Yes, and painting the nursery will be a fine distraction."

"And what if he decides to stay? What if he decides to play daddy?" His tone was hard and she lifted her head as her heart picked up speed. So this was what he was scared of.

"It would be too dangerous…" She whispered. "He'll ask me about the biological father one day and I'll feel obligated to answer. I can't do that…"

Hannibal nodded. She knew he wasn't satisfied with her answer, but she couldn't bring herself to say the things he wanted to hear. As much as she'd come to understand that she was in love with him, that some part of her might even love him for what he'd given her, she couldn't make herself say it out loud. All the things that went unsaid hung in the air between them and Hannibal suddenly smiled. He knew and it made her happy.

"Say hi to Jack from me, will you?"

"Of course." She smiled shyly and stepped forward. Her feet touched the red line and she saw the guards lift their tranquilizers. She put of her hand, signaling that everything was fine. Hannibal stood completely still as she took another step and touched his arm lightly. His eyes closed briefly and didn't open till she stepped back. His lips parted and his words were nearly a whisper.

"The next time I see you, you'll be a mother…"

**A/N:  
Please review^^**

**It's not exactly cheerful, but it's still lighter than the last few chapters :)**

**So, we're nearing the big day! What do you think of the name I chose? **

**Now, I don't know much about giving birth, except for what I've seen on TV and such, so if it seems idealized or much more painless than what some of you might have experienced… please let me stay in my little bubble of happy thoughts… it will probably burst the day I become a parent myself(loooong into the future, thanks).**

**I hope you enjoyed this :P**

**Firebolt **


	13. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: All the characters in here belong to Thomas Harris.**

**A/N:  
Thanks for the reviews :) **

**This is the big day that we've all been waiting for. Let's see how it turns out. This story has taken a life of its own and I'm not sure if I'm in control anymore…**

**Enjoy the show ;)**

Chapter Twelve

**The Present:**

"I _do not _have time for this!"

If Doctor Hannibal Lecter had been a more dramatic man, he would have hit his head against the wall at the sound of Dr. Chilton's voice. As it was though, he sat still at his desk and exhaled slowly through his teeth, watching as his breath became mist as it left his lips. The air in the dungeon was getting colder by the day as October ran its course and Hannibal had started wearing long sleeves under his jumpsuit. He was halfway through the paperback he had in front of him, but as it was the third time he was reading it, his attention quickly slipped as he heard the footsteps that resonated through the hallway.

"When did she get permission to call like this? _I _am the warden of this institution. _I _should be able to decide who gets to talk to my patients!"

Dr. Chilton kept talking as he came into view though he wasn't looking at the orderlies behind him. Hannibal kept his eyes on the book, but he could still see Barney's shape and the phone in his hand. Slowly, as if their presence was nothing but a nuisance, he licked his finger and bent the corner of the page. He put the book down and lifted his head, staring coldly at the orderlies in front of him as he ignored the incompetent psychiatrist.

"Good morning gentlemen."

"It's not really morning anymore…" Dean said with a smile. Hannibal was surprised. The kid could barely utter a syllable around him and now he was smiling and completely ignoring Hannibal's cold tone.

"I suppose my perspective of time has changed." Hannibal let his lips curve upwards. There was no reason to be rude. "May I ask why I owe you the pleasure of this early visit?"

Hannibal watched as Barney glanced at Jim and as a smile passed between them. Before any of them could speak though, Dr. Chilton decided to offer his input.

"It's _Miss _Starling." He snared as he deliberately changed her title. Hannibal let his eyes wander to the phone in Barney's hand and his lips parted slightly. Clarice had called. He blinked slowly as he waited for Dr. Chilton to speak again. "She called about some bloody baby."

A baby? Hannibal's eyes didn't waver from the phone. _The _baby, he corrected himself.

"She gave birth last night."

Hannibal snapped his head up as Barney spoke. The smile had been evident in his voice and it filled his entire face, making the wrinkles around his eyes stand out. His throat went dry as his gaze shifted to Jim and Dean, who we're both grinning like there was no tomorrow. As his eyes landed on Dr. Chilton, he was surprised to see that the warden's face wasn't filled with distaste, but staring at his feet like he didn't know what he was supposed to think about it. Hannibal himself felt much the same. His heart started thumbing uncomfortably and he blinked twice leaning back in his seat. After what seemed like an eternity as several unidentifiable emotions surged through him, making his throat tighten, he finally managed to force two words over his lips.

"I see…"

**Yesterday:**

The sun peeked through the clouds and cast its warm glow into the living room, where Clarice was seated on the couch. The rays warmed her big belly. As another cloud passed by, the room cooled in an instant and Clarice shifted, turning a page in her book. The watch on the wall ticked, seemingly slowing by the second. Clarice had a feeling that time was doing that an awful lot lately.

You see, Clarice was waiting for something.

Day after day was passing by and she was only getting bigger. It was quite tiring actually. In her opinion, the baby could hurry up and just come out already. But alas, much like its father, it seemed to think it had all the time in the world.

Clarice looked up as Ardelia passed by in the hall. Her friend had to be at work at 6 tonight to take over for another team on a surveillance gig, but for some reason, she was up early and doing all sorts of chores. Clarice had a slight suspicion that it was because, she was nervous. Having a nine month pregnant lady in the house apparently set her on edge.

With a smile, she returned to her book. It wasn't the first time she read it, but she still found it just as educating. Reading her pregnancy books over and over again was reassuring, but she still felt completely unprepared. Even Ardelia's presence couldn't make her feel better. Sometimes, she wondered if Hannibal knew how to handle babies, but the image of him changing a diaper or merely holding the baby made her yearn for something that she couldn't quite admit to. She ran a hand over her stomach. Whatever it was, it made her think of his smile and the way his skin had felt against hers when he held her hand as he was laying in the med wing or when he held her close in the darkness of Jame Gumb's basement.

It was with a sigh that she closed her book and shook her head to rid herself of the mental image of Hannibal Lecter cooing over a newborn baby, which quite frankly didn't seem like something he'd do. She could hear Ardelia bustling around in the kitchen and she rose from the couch, aiming for the bathroom. With the baby pressing on her bladder, going to the bathroom seemed like a fulltime occupation.

This time though, as she was sitting there, staring at the wall in front of her, waiting for the pressure to disappear, she was surprised to find that the water didn't stop running. There was no pressure, just the sound as the water kept running and then it stopped, dripping slowly. Her eyes widened. She _was _taking a piss, right?

"Oh…" She mumbled. It took her a few minutes to find a pad and put it on, but she soon walked out of the bathroom and into the kitchen to see Ardelia scrubbing the tabletop. Her friend looked up and stopped what she was doing as she saw the look on Clarice's face.

"What…?"

"I think my water just broke…" Clarice spoke in a low voice, her lips parted and her eyes mirrored the shock that appeared on Ardelia's face.

"Oh fuck…"

"Oh fuck indeed…" Clarice nodded.

"Should we go to the hospital now?" Ardelia asked, leaning away from the table.

"Umm, not yet, I don't think so…"

"Okaaay…" Ardelia glanced away, tapping her foot. "What do we do then?"

"We wait." Clarice rubbed her lower back, feeling the strain of standing up for so long. "I'm going to lie down for a while."

"Should I call in sick tonight?" Ardelia called after her as she lay down on the couch, putting a pillow under her feet.

"Delia, did you even read the book I gave you?" Clarice asked with a sigh, not even bothering to look back at her friend's guilty expression.

"Well… I was _planning _to…"

Clarice smiled and shook her head. "It can take a while after the water breaks for the contractions start and even then we have to wait till they start coming faster. You know, with less time between each contraction."

"So when are we going?"

"It could be in an hour or it could be tomorrow." Clarice replied, picking up the book again.

"Do you need anything?" Ardelia was standing by her head now, shifting from foot to foot.

"Just water, Delia, thanks."

Time… Time is a funny concept. It never quite goes as you wish it to. It seemed like an eternity to the two women, sitting quietly side by side, but as they looked at the clock, they realized that only a few minutes had passed by the time the first contraction came.

"Oh fuck!" Clarice's eyes flew open as the pain hit her. She tried to sit up, but her belly was in the way and she fell down on the couch again. Ardelia jumped in her seat and looked at her with parted lips.

"Was that…?"

"Yes…" Clarice managed to say as her breath evened out.

"Should I call in sick?"

"Yep…"

The contractions didn't come close together till later. Clarice had spent the day walking around the house, taking two showers and laying on the couch with her feet up. Ardelia was constantly asking Clarice if she was okay and being extremely jumpy to the point where Clarice told her to leave the house for a while. When she came back though, Clarice was more than grateful for her presence.

"Delia…" Clarice mumbled as a contraction passed.

"Yeah?" Ardelia had a wet clothe in her hand that she passed over Clarice's forehead.

"This one was really long. And I've had six of them the last hour… I think we might need to go soon."

"Oh… fuck, who do I call?"

Clarice took a shaky breath, closing her eyes. Who did they call? They could call Doctor Creed or just go to the hospital. She quickly dismissed calling the Asylum, but the thought was tempting. All she wanted to hear was his calm, metallic voice reassuring her, but she knew it wouldn't go over well with anyone, much less Ardelia, who was watching her with wide eyes. Suddenly, she remembered making a promise. Jack had been past the house more often than she was comfortable with, but after a while, she found that she didn't mind at all. Ardelia wasn't home much and she craved the company. He'd painted the nursery just as he'd promised and done plenty of other things for her that went beyond anything a boss should do. Should she call?

"Call Jack… tell him that we're going to the hospital now."

"Now? As in r_ight _now?"

"Yes…"

She still had her eyes closed, but she heard Ardelia scramble through the room and pick up the phone. Clarice could imagine her shaky hands as she pressed the buttons and waited for Jack to pick up the phone.

"Hello? Yes, it's Ardelia Mapp. It's happening. We're going now." Ardelia spoke in a low tone, but Clarice could swear that she sounded out of breath. "Do you want to meet us there? Umm, ok, I think. You should probably wait an hour or two. It could take a while before anything happens. Sure… I'll tell her that."

"What did he say?" Clarice asked as Ardelia hung up the phone. She cracked an eye open and watched her friend's face. She was scared.

"He's coming as soon as possible." She stood still for a moment. "Should we go?"

"Yeah, let's go."

The air was cold outside and the streetlamps had just been turned on. Another contraction hit Clarice as she was in the car. Ardelia nearly crashed as she heard the muffled scream, but she managed to keep the car under control. Clarice could feel tears stream down her face as she tried to breathe in like she'd been taught, but it hardly helped. It was nearly a whole minute before it passed. Ardelia looked back at her.

"Are you okay?" It wasn't the first time she'd asked that question that day and it wouldn't be the last. Clarice just nodded and wiped away the moist from her cheeks. God, this was awful.

By the time that they arrived at the hospital, things started going fast. Apparently, they'd arrived just in time. They needed another few millimeters before she could start pushing and they brought her straight to the delivery room. The white walls at the hospital suddenly seemed much darker and Clarice wished she was anywhere but there as another contraction came. She clutched Ardelia's hand so hard that the other girl was crying with her. Her friend went in with her. It was a thing they'd talked about, and Ardelia had made it very clear that she wanted to be there when the baby was born. Right now though, her face was as white as a sheet and she looked like she was ready to jump out the window.

"Excuse me miss." A nurse came in as they were hooking her up to the machines. "There's a gentleman outside, he says you know him. His name is Jack Crawford."

"Oh, Jack, yes, please let him in." Clarice said as she ignored the nurse on her right side, who was pulling up her shirt to attach something to her belly. It would monitor the baby's heartbeat, she was told.

Jack looked slightly flushed as he came in. He was just as rigid as always, but he looked around the room as if he expected one of the nurses to jump him with a knife. His eyes landed on her and she smiled as she saw the sweat on his brow and the disarray of his clothes. He'd come here in a hurry apparently.

"Hi." He said as he came closer. "How are you?"

"I'm okay at the moment…"

"She screamed her lungs out a minute ago though." Ardelia offered with a laugh.

"Thanks Delia…"

"It's true…"

"When are you ready to push?" Jack asked, glancing nervously at all the monitors in the room.

"Just about now." One of the nurses said. "Those who want to stay should stay. If not, please step outside."

"Oh…" Jack ducked his head. "I'll be outside if you need me."

The nurse watched him leave, casting a quick glance at Ardelia by Clarice's side. Clarice nearly laughed. She could only imagine what went through the woman's mind. Luckily, she didn't ask any awkward questions. When Jack arrived, she'd nearly expected someone to ask if he was the father, but they kept quiet.

She hardly managed to finish the next thought, as another contraction started, leaving her breathless. Involuntary tears streamed down her cheeks and Ardelia grunted as her hand was crushed. It passed after what felt like an eternity and the nurse was by her head as she opened her eyes.

"You're fully dilated." She said kindly and Clarice realized that she was probably the midwife. "Do you feel an urge to push?"

Clarice nodded. "Yes, when I have a contraction…"

"Good, the next time you have one, I want you to take a deep breath and push as hard as you can, okay?"

"Okay…"

Clarice had never experienced anything like it. The pain was immense. She screamed out as she pushed and stopped nearly immediately.

"Clarice, you _have _to keep pushing!" Ardelia's voice sounded through the haze of pain. But Clarice just shook her head and swallowed a sob. The contraction passed and Clarice tried to catch her breath.

"You did good." The midwife said though Clarice was pretty sure it was a lie. "Now, the next time, keep pushing, just push. I know it's hard and the pain can be overwhelming, but you _have _to keep pushing."

"Okay, _okay…_I will." Clarice breathed through her nose and did as she was told. It happened again and again and she pushed again and again. Every time the contraction stopped she let out a sob of relief and tried to catch a breath and then she had to start all over again. Ardelia kept whispering to her, telling her that she was doing good but all Clarice could do in response was nod and keep quiet, hoping not to scream too much. Truth was that Clarice was afraid what she might say if she opened her mouth.

She wanted to yell at someone right now, but that someone wasn't there. God, she wanted to tell him how stupid he'd been and it barely crossed her mind that she had been just as reckless. It was all _his _fault and he wasn't even here so she could yell at him. Instead, Clarice gritted her teeth and pushed down again.

God, she hated him right now.

"Come on Clarice!"

She let go of Ardelia's hand and clutched the sheets underneath her, pushing herself up so she was seated. The pain was unbearable and she screamed as she pushed down, nearly choking as she sobbed through her tears. She fell back, hitting the pillows behind her with a thumb and saw through her half closed eyes, the midwife stand between her legs. Clarice felt relief flood through her as she heard the sound of a baby crying at the top of its lungs.

She did it… she a_ctually _did it.

Ardelia was watching the nurses crowding around the child with wide eyes and as she looked down at her with a smile, Clarice broke into tears again, smiling so much it hurt.

"Is it okay? Is my baby okay?" Her voice was raw but it cut through the room. The midwife turned around with a smile.

"She's fine."

_She…?_

"It's a girl?" Clarice kept on sobbing happily as she saw the midwife nod. Ardelia made a sound that resembled a squeal and Clarice could feel her friend's arms around her neck. The nurse, who had wiped off the baby, picked up the small child and Clarice extended her arms to take her. She was completely naked and sticky, but Clarice held onto her nonetheless, placing her by her breasts.

Several emotions surged through her and she identified the strongest; love, pure love.

The small baby girl flailed her arms through the air, crying out every few seconds. Clarice caught one of the small hands and saw her tiny fingers wrap around her finger. _Five… Five fingers. _She did the same with her other hand and looked at her tiny fingers, sobbing as she counted to five again. Her baby girl had five fingers on each hand. _Five… _

She hadn't known how much it had weighed on her mind, but she clutched the baby tighter, sobbing in relief. Her baby girl was normal; completely normal. Clarice didn't know what she would have done if her baby had had six fingers, but one thing was sure; it wouldn't have mattered to her.

"Shhh…" She tried to calm her baby, shushing her, waiting for her cries to subside. The child hiccupped, but after a moment she became calm, nestling against her breasts, making suckling motions with her mouth. The little girl turned her head, looking up towards her mother, opening her eyes for a split second. _Blue…bright blue._

Clarice leaned down, kissing the top of her tiny head. She smiled and kissed her cheek and her tiny nose. Perfect, she was absolutely perfect. A tiny part of her wondered if her eyes might darken and she smiled at the thought. She wouldn't mind at all. Brown or blue didn't matter. Clarice smiled at the thought of seeing the brown color that was almost red in the right light, but shook away the thought, gazing into the deep blue as her baby opened her eyes again, closing them shut immediately as the light was too strong.

"Alex…" She whispered. "_Alex…"_

"She's beautiful…" Ardelia said and Clarice looked up at her friend, somehow surprised that she was not alone. She nodded in response.

"Clarice?" The nurse was by her side again. "We need to make sure your baby is completely healthy. Can we borrow her for a moment?"

Reluctantly, she handed over her baby and watched closely as they started weighing and measuring her, pinching her heel to draw a few drops of blood for testing. Clarice averted her eyes, suddenly feeling an urge to stand up and march over to demand her baby back. Instead she looked at Ardelia at her side.

"Thanks Delia." Clarice saw her questioning eyes and added. "For being here…"

"Oh, don't mention it." Her smile was genuine. "It was a … it was quite the experience…"

Clarice chuckled. "Just wait till it's your turn."

Ardelia took a deep breath and raised an eyebrow. "I think I can wait… till … never."

The nurse came back, carrying the small baby in a pink blanket. She had been completely clean scrubbed and her eyes were now darting around the room, closing every few seconds to avoid the light. As she was placed in Clarice's arms again, Ardelia spoke.

"Or maybe not…" She bit her lip. "I want one, ASAP."

Clarice laughed, keeping her eyes on the tiny thing in her arms.

_She was beautiful…_

"The man outside wants to know if it's okay to come in."

Clarice looked up as the nurse spoke. What was she…? Oh, Jack, fuck, how could she forget about him? As understanding dawned on her face, she nodded.

"Yes, just send him in."

If she didn't know better, she'd say Jack was embarrassed when he came in. He tried to smile, but it just looked really awkward and his stern expression quickly returned. His eyes kept flickering around the room until it landed on the child and there they stayed.

He stood still for a moment and then he smiled. Clarice realized that she had never seen him smile before. Somehow, it suited him.

"It's a girl." He said, walking forward, nodding at Ardelia in greeting.

"Yeah, it is." Clarice said, gazing down at the bundle in her arms. Ardelia got to her feet and glanced between Jack and her. Her expression was unreadable as she suddenly went to the door without a word. Clarice frowned. That was weird…

Jack stepped forward and took the chair by the head of the bed, glancing down at the small girl.

"How are you feeling?" He asked after a few seconds, shifting his gaze to her.

"Sore… tired… thirsty…" She shrugged, looking down at her baby, not really caring about any of it.

Jack didn't have time to answer as the nurse suddenly appeared on her other side.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but you need to deliver the placenta…"

"Oh…" Clarice had completely forgotten about that part and she looked down at Alex, shifting her in her arms.

"Sir, would you like to hold the baby, while we do this? If not, we can take her."

Jack looked slightly startled and he glanced at Clarice, asking for permission.

"Go ahead Jack…"

The baby was shifted into his arms and he held her close to his chest. Clarice had to contain a laugh as she saw the expression on his face. His eyes were wide and he looked just as surprised as the baby. He nodded at her and turned around, suddenly not comfortable with being in the room anymore.

It happened quickly. The placenta had been loosening and moving down without her noticing anything at it came only minutes after the nurse had told her to expect it.

Jack kept his back to her the whole time and she looked at his shoulders. She could see him move and as he turned slightly, she saw the baby's hand curled around his finger. For some reason it sent tears to her eyes and she felt terrible as her throat tightened. She glanced away as he turned around. The nurse had tidied her up and she had a blanket covering her, but she still felt as naked as the day she was born when Jack came back and sat down. Silently, he handed the baby over. Her warm form nestled against her chest and as she felt her own hunger, she knew that Alex had to feel the same way.

"She's probably hungry." Clarice mumbled, looking anywhere else but at Jack.

"Oh… I should probably…" He shifted in his seat and got to his feet. "I should go. I'm just glad that you're okay… I'll see you… eh, soon."

Clarice tried to smile as he nodded and left. That wasn't awkward at all…

She unbuttoned her shirt and let Alex find her own way, wincing as she latched on. She hadn't wanted Jack to see this, she realized as she watched her daughter suckle for the first time. He was a good guy, but seeing him hold the baby… She suddenly felt her eyes prickle with tears and she dried one away as it rolled down her cheek. Jack wasn't supposed to be here. It was all wrong. It was all so wrong.

As she looked down at her baby and saw her small, button nose, all she could think of was Hannibal.

She needed to see him, talk to him; anything.

But it was late…

Clarice touched her daughter's cheek lightly watching as she sucked.

She'd call first thing in the morning.

**The Present:**

"_I see…" _

Hannibal's heart was thumbing wildly as he gazed at the phone with a dry mouth. He got up from his seat without being told to and moved to the back of his cell, holding his hands behind his neck. He heard the cell open and close and he turned around as soon as Barney gave him permission to do it. The phone was on his bed and he glanced up at the orderlies, expecting them to leave.

"I'll supervise this call." Dr. Chilton said coldly. "This has nothing to do with FBI business and we all know that."

He ignored the man's words and moved to the phone, picking up the handle. Without his lawyer present, there wasn't much he could do and Hannibal didn't really want make fuzz at this exact moment. He sat down and listened to the silence on the other end.

"Hello?"

The voice sounded tired but Hannibal recognized it all the same. His face remained impassive as he watched Dr. Chilton and the orderlies on the other side of the glass, but his heart made an uncomfortable jump that he couldn't quite control.

"Good morning Clarice."

"Good morning Hannibal." He could hear the relieved smile in her voice. He let a moment pass as he savored the sound of her voice.

"How are you?"

"I'm good. We're both good."

"How did it go? Were there any complications?"

"No, it went well. It was a natural birth."

Hannibal held back a sigh of relief at her words and let his lips curl into a smile.

"I'm proud of you." He said quietly, ignoring the men only two feet away.

"Thank you. I think… I think it went well. Ardelia was there. It helped."

"Good." Hannibal lowered his eyes as the image of Clarice alone in the delivery room passed through his mind. "How is the baby?"

"Oh, the baby, she… She's fine."

_She? It's a girl? _A little baby girl… Hannibal could feel his heart go berserk in that exact moment and he ducked his head, closing his eyes. This was too much… He couldn't… It wasn't his baby, not really, and he shouldn't feel anything. He shouldn't…

He took a deep breath as he tried to remain professional.

"Is she… is she healthy?"

"She's fine." Clarice sounded so happy and calm it made him cover his mouth with his hand as he suppressed an urge sob. _Sob…? _What was wrong with him? "She's a small girl, five fingers on each hand and five toes on each of her feet. She has dark, soft hair and blue eyes. She's gorgeous."

"When was she born?" He tried to keep his voice calm, but he knew it sounded raw, more so than normally.

"At two o'clock in the morning, today."

"So, Alexandria Starling born on the 27'th of October?" He managed a weak smile, suddenly feeling pride surge through him. A baby girl, huh? Who would have guessed?

"Yeah…"

"Do you need anything?" He asked as he heard the sadness seep into her voice.

"You already gave me enough Hannibal."

"Don't hesitate to ask." He couldn't help but feel a bitter taste in his mouth as she rejected his offer. He remembered asking her this before and it didn't feel better the second time around. He swallowed his dignity an asked. "When are you coming by again?"

"I don't know Hannibal. I really don't know…"

"Take your time."

"I will visit you before Christmas, I'm sure."

"I hope so."

"Me too."

A moment of silence passed and Hannibal glanced at the men outside his cell. He wanted to tell Clarice to give the baby a kiss from him. He wanted to say that he loved her even though he hadn't seen her yet. He tried to push away the emotions as he usually did and he partially succeeded, leaving him only with resentment; not towards Clarice but towards Dr. Chilton, who he had his eyes on at this exact moment.

"Keep safe…" He heard her say through his haze of anger.

"I will." He rasped only to hear the long beep as she hung up. Hannibal let the handle slip out of his hand, dumping it on the bed. Dr. Chilton was watching him warily, their eyes locked as Hannibal moved from the bed to the corner of his cell, placing his hands behind his neck. The orderlies moved quickly and he heard the cell close shut as fast as it had opened. He let out a deep breath and turned around only to find Dr. Chilton already gone.

Barney was the only one left after he sent Dean and Jim down the hall with the phone. The big orderly looked at him questioningly.

"May I ask what she had to say?"

Hannibal could only hear curiosity in his voice and Barney's friendly approach made him feel better immediately.

"It's a girl…"

"I suppose congratulations are in order." Barney smiled kindly and Hannibal raised an eyebrow.

"You should tell that to Clarice when you see her then."

"I'll tell her as well then."

Hannibal glanced up at his words and felt his lips part.

"What are you insinuating?"

The big orderly just shook his head with a smile. Hannibal watched him closely. Did he…? Did he _know? _If anyone should suspect, it would be him… He'd overheard more conversations between him and Clarice than anyone else, but still…

"I think such thoughts would be dangerous, don't you, Dr. Lecter?"

"Yes, I think they would be very dangerous indeed." Hannibal held an edge to his voice that would have told even Dr. Chilton that he was treading on thin ice.

"Congratulations Dr. Lecter."

There it was. The pure, raw intelligence in Barney's eyes that had first made Hannibal appreciate him so. The big orderly raised an eyebrow with a smile and Hannibal couldn't help but grin back.

"Thank you Barney."

**A/N:  
Oh Fucking hell, I did it. I wrote the birth scene… I never thought this story would actually get this far…**

**And dude, it's a relief to finish writing this chapter… Watching births on you tube can get… eww…**

**Never mind, I hope I didn't skip over it too easily. I really tried to write it as realistically as possible, but truth is… I don't have a clue about childbirth. Don't burst my happy bubble here. If it's a thousand times more horrible than this… please let me keep my illusions ^^**

**It's late, I'm tired… If I missed any spelling mistakes, I'll probably see them tomorrow and correct them. **

**I hope you liked this chapter! We're far from finished with this story. There are simply too many loose ends ;)**

**October the 27'th is my little sisters birthday (she's a big girl now-17 soon), and it felt like a good day to make it happen. **

**As for Barney figuring it out. I wanted it to happen later, but it felt right at this moment. Besides, he's supposed to be smart. As for Jack and Ardelia… they have their own thoughts as well. **

**To be continued!**

**Firebolt **


	14. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: All the characters in here belong to Thomas Harris.**

**Thanks for the reviews guys! You're amazing!**

**This is a quiet chapter, though very necessary, and we'll pick up speed in the coming installments. **

**Do enjoy!**

Chapter Thirteen

When Ardelia had silently thought that things would turn upside down at the arrival of a baby, she had been right.

Since Clarice came home two weeks ago, Ardelia had spent most of her nights with her head under the pillow as the baby cried her lungs out. The last few days though, it seemed that little Alex had finally tuned in to a more normal sleep rhythm and Ardelia and Clarice had finally managed to sleep for more than a few hours at a time.

Ardelia had been going to work every day while Clarice stayed at home and even though they didn't spend all that much time together, she did see the changes in her best friend. For the first time, for as long as they'd known each other, Clarice was happy. There had always been this constant seriousness in Clarice that at times had made Ardelia uncomfortable, but it was slowly disappearing. Well, there were still times when she'd become unnaturally quiet, especially when little Alex was asleep or resting. The corners of her mouth would drop as she became deep in thoughts, but Ardelia didn't think so much about it. After all, how could a woman that looked so happy with her baby be unhappy?

The house was unnaturally quiet as Ardelia opened the front door. It was very early but it was already quite dark outside and as she closed the door behind her, she noticed the light coming from the nursery.

With a smile, she went down the hall and peered inside. Clarice was sitting on a chair with her back turned but glanced over her shoulder silently as she heard the door open. She nodded in greeting and returned her attention to little Alex who was sleeping in the crib that Hannibal Lecter had given her. The fact that Clarice had accepted the gift still made Ardelia a bit uneasy, but she had to admit that it was beautiful.

"How has the day been?" Ardelia asked as she stepped closer, looking down at the small girl. Alex had her tiny fists clenched and her chest was moving up and down in an even rhythm. Everything about her was so small and Ardelia had trouble remembering any of her cousins being so tiny. But then again, Clarice wasn't very big so it made sense.

"She's been acting really well today." Clarice couldn't help but smile with pride. "She's really starting to focus her eyes on objects. I think she's starting to recognize me."

Ardelia knew it was probably not the case, but she just smiled even wider at her friend's pride. "It won't be long before she can smile, huh?"

"No, it won't." Clarice glanced back, her smile not quite reaching her eyes. "How was work?"

"It was okay…" Ardelia made sure to make it sound a bit more boring than it actually was. "Jeff ate too much junk food in the car so we had to pull over when he started retching out the window."

"Yummy." Clarice made a face. "By the way, there's dinner in the fridge if you're hungry."

"Great!" Ardelia knew it was a dismissal and left the room without complaining. It seemed that Clarice was in one of her moods but it was somehow less severe lately, as if the baby had made her into a calmer person. As Ardelia left the room, she looked back and saw Clarice lean over the crib and reach into it to touch her baby as she was sleeping. It was a sweet sight and Ardelia wished she'd had the camera ready.

She found the food in the fridge and started heating it up. It wouldn't have been all that weird if she'd had the camera in hand, she though, they _had _been taking an awful lot of pictures lately. They were mostly of Alex and then either her with the baby or Clarice with the baby, but there were a few with Jack Crawford in them. Ardelia wasn't really sure what she was supposed to think about the man.

In the start, she hadn't thought all that much about it when he came around the house to help Clarice. After all, there are a lot of things that a pregnant lady can't do. But then a thought had entered her mind. _What if he wasn't there for Clarice? _

The notion had first entered her mind when she saw him at the hospital. It was mostly the way his eyes had lit up when he'd looked at Clarice holding a newborn Alex to her chest, but it was also the fact that he was actually there. He was her _boss _for Christ's sake. What was he doing in the hospital with them? And then it hit her; Jack Crawford was the reason they were there in the first place.

Ardelia had always been a bit confused about the whole baby business. Most of all, she had been confused about the whole _don't ask questions _thing that Clarice had insisted on. If Jack Crawford was the father… it suddenly all made sense.

Not only had he slept with a trainee, he'd slept with a trainee that was working for him and he'd subsequently hired her permanently… it sounded pretty bad and it would look even worse on the front page of the National Tattler. Ardelia had decided that it was a good thing that she'd never asked questions.

"_Jack Crawford…" _She mumbled as she stirred the food in the pot. What was she to think of this whole deal? Quite frankly, she wasn't Crawford's biggest fan at the moment. Alex would never have a father and it was all because of him. He should have told his superiors what he'd done and taken the consequences. He'd taken advantage of a trainee who was under his control. It was quite serious. But Ardelia couldn't do anything about it and maybe things were better as they were. Clarice would probably get into trouble as well if she told on them…

Yes, she should let things be. It didn't look like Clarice was all that fond of Crawford anyway, so why force the man to take responsibility if her friend didn't even want it? No, let them figure out how to handle it.

Ardelia found a plate in the cabinet. She was quite confident in her deductions.

* * *

Clarice heard the door close as Ardelia left the room. Alex shifted in her sleep and Clarice held her breath only to let it out several seconds later when it became clear that her small girl wasn't going to wake up any time soon. She was wearing the blue jumpsuit that she'd bought when she'd first decided to keep her baby. It was a bit too big, but it still looked good on her and most importantly, it made Clarice smile when she remembered who else wore one.

She gazed down at her baby, resting her hand on her tiny stomach to feel her breathe in and out. Her nose was just a small button and her hair was hardly anything to speak of, but it could still be seen. The dark color of her hair was all Hannibal and Clarice had convinced herself that it was the same with her nose. It was weird how she'd first wished for the baby to look nothing like him and now she was searching for any trace of him in her child's soft features that she could find.

Alex moved her arm, unclenching her tiny fist for a moment only to grab onto the white blanket covering her.

She was beautiful. She truly was.

Clarice smiled. It had been a good day today, she thought. It wasn't just little Alex that made her whole being fill up with joy, it was also Jack Crawford, or should we say, what he'd had to tell.

Jack had come by earlier that day after Ardelia left and Clarice had asked him if she could start doing a bit of work at home. He'd not been too happy with it, but after several minutes of heated discussions, they'd finally made a compromise. She could take up her visits to the Asylum again if it meant that she'd stay at home with Alex for a while longer and not think about work. Clarice suddenly didn't mind a few more months of maternity leave at all.

The thought of seeing Hannibal made her feel like a schoolgirl again. She'd thought her feelings for him might subside as the baby was born, but here she was, unable to control her stomach making flip flops at the thought of hearing his voice speak her name. She knew that she was in love with him, but she'd convinced herself it was just her pregnancy induced mind that was playing tricks with her. Now, she wasn't so sure.

He was a cannibalistic serial killer and here she was, imagining what it might be like if he was standing right beside her and looking down at their child. It made her feel rather guilty.

She _was _actually in love with him. It wasn't just something she could blame on her pregnancy anymore. She, Clarice Starling, was in love with the most famous cannibal of all time and as she looked down at her tiny baby, she could only smile as she remembered that it was his.

Did that make her a bad person? She wasn't so sure anymore.

But after all, he was the father of her child. Wasn't it normal that she'd feel that way?

Yes, her feelings were only a byproduct of what she felt for her baby. It all made much more sense, she thought with a smile and felt much better.

And still, she couldn't wait to see him tomorrow morning when she went to the Asylum.

It was with a feathery kiss to Alex's brow that Clarice left the nursery and went to bed. She was completely exhausted and she fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow and didn't wake till Alex started crying around four o'clock. Clarice didn't feel completely rested as she got up, but it was still much better than just a week ago. It was dark outside and she could only imagine the November cold as she sat on the couch, breastfeeding her child at the most ungodly hour.

Ardelia had promised to look after Alex as Clarice went to the Asylum, but the whole idea suddenly seemed very lacking. What if Ardelia didn't know what to do? What if something happened and she wasn't there to help? Waiting four hours for her friend to get up was a long time and when Ardelia stuck her head into the living room, Clarice had gotten herself worked up pretty bad.

She kept repeating herself as she told Ardelia where all the things were and where to call if anything happened, but it didn't prevent the inevitable; saying goodbye to Alex.

Even though it was only for a few hours, Clarice felt her heart break as she shifted the baby into Ardelia's arms.

"Mommy is going to be back soon…" She said to the infant, who just stared at a point above Clarice's shoulder with wide eyes.

"And we're going to have so much fun while mommy is gone, ain't that right baby Alex?" Ardelia said teasingly, which only earned her a glare from Clarice.

"Just…" Clarice started, feeling the lump in her throat grow. "You know where to call if you need me…"  
"_Yes…_ Clarice. You'll be at the Asylum. Got it." Ardelia sighed.

Clarice frowned as she cast one last look at Alex in Ardelia's arms and turned around, leaving the house. Maybe she should get the car seat for Alex and bring her… no, the Asylum was no place for a child. She had to stay at home. It was with a sigh that she opened the door to her car, got in and started driving. The familiar trip felt longer than normal as her thoughts kept revolving around Alex and she wondered if Ardelia had remembered to warm the milk before giving it to her and if it was even the right temperature.

She shook her head to rid her of her thoughts when she pulled into the asylum's parking lot. Everything looked exactly the same as the last time she was here, but the place seemed even colder on the grey November day. It was easier to walk through the halls without her pregnant belly and it helped her mood as she remembered that she would no longer have to deal with sore feet. She passed Dr. Chilton's office and heard voices from inside. Relief passed through her as she realized that he wasn't going to leave a meeting to talk to her.

Barney on the other hand, was a completely different deal. As soon as he saw her, he sat aside the towels he was carrying and beamed. Clarice felt the irresistible pull to smile that she always had around him and she walked up to him with a grin.

"Agent Starling." He greeted.

"Hi Barney."

"I heard about your girl, congratulations."

"Thank you." Her heart warmed as she thought about Alex.

"How are the two of you doing?" He sounded genuinely curious.

"I think she's doing absolutely wonderful, but I'm pretty tired." Clarice smirked. "She doesn't like mommy sleeping."

"I can imagine."

"How's Dr. Lecter doing?" She asked, knowing that if she first started talking about Alex, she wouldn't stop again anytime soon.

"Oh, he's doing great." Barney bit his lip. "He's really happy for you, I think."

Clarice nodded, suddenly feeling uneasy. Barney was far too observant for his own good if you asked her. She gave him a quick smile and asked. "Is he up yet?"

"He knows you're coming. Of course he is." Barney nodded to the small screen in the corner of the room and sure enough, Hannibal could be seen sitting by his desk.

"Good, I'd like to talk to him now, if you don't mind."

Barney smirked. They were alone in the control room and it was the only reason she didn't feel completely exposed as he said his next words. "It still doesn't cease to amaze me that someone would actually _like _to talk with him. I hope I'm not offending you, but you're quite unique in that way."

Clarice felt her throat drying as she nodded again with a faltering smile. "In what way?"

"You're not scared of him at all."

But that wasn't true, was it? Clarice thought as she tried to form an answer. Part of her was still scared of him or was it just her rational mind that tried to tell her to be so? "I think… I think, I would be a fool not to be scared of him."

Barney just nodded with a half-smile, accepting her vagueness. "He scares me too sometimes, mostly because I know that he wouldn't hesitate to hurt me if it could get him out of here. He wouldn't kill me though, of that I'm sure."

"I don't think he could hurt you Barney…" She said quietly, glancing at Hannibal's tiny form on the screen. "Not unless you forced him to do it… If the day ever comes where you're standing in the way of his freedom… promise me that you'll step aside."

"If I agree to that, I'll get fired." Barney said with a light smile.

"I won't tell on you."

"Thank you Agent Starling." He averted his eyes, staring at his white trainers. "You know, I don't think he could ever hurt you either."

"And why would that be?" She asked curiously. Clarice was surprised that she found herself agreeing with his words, but she was suddenly curious as to what would make him say so.

"You have the baby to take care of now." He shrugged, holding his eyes on his shoes. "I can't imagine that he'd want anything bad to happen to the mother of… of his child."

Clarice held her breath, feeling her heart take off in her chest. Did he just? Yes… This was bad. This was so bad. She closed her eyes as she tried to get control over her body.

"Is that what he's saying?" She finally asked after a few seconds.

"He didn't say anything Agent Starling." Barney lifted his eyes to see the fear in her eyes. "I'm not stupid Agent Starling, but don't worry, I won't tell anyone."

His reassurance didn't help much as she felt the fear linger in her heart. She couldn't get herself to thank him for keeping quiet, instead she said. "They'll kill my baby if they find out."

Barney looked a bit confused at her words and shook his head. "The government doesn't go around killing babies…"

"I'm not thinking about the government Barney…"

His eyes widened for a moment and his lips parted. "You don't think…? Surely the thing with the guards was enough for him…?"

"It's never enough Barney." Clarice's voice was hoarse. "Can I see Dr. Lecter now?"

The big orderly just nodded as he turned around to the barred door, letting her through. He didn't say anything as he usually did and Clarice saw the apprehension and guilt in his face. She wasn't sure why he'd told her about his discovery, but it left a bad taste in her mouth. Could she trust him? Barney had always been friendly to her and she knew that Hannibal appreciated him… He wouldn't betray them, would he? It suddenly occurred to her that Mason Verger would pay a lot of money for Alex's name and a DNA sample. The thought made her stomach churn.

As she reached the end of the hall, the sight of Hannibal standing in the middle of his cell with his hands clasped behind his back made her feel safe instantaneously. He was smiling widely and she was reminded of a child on Christmas morning. His smile faltered though, when he saw her expression and he stepped closer to the glass, indicating that she should do the same. Clarice could feel her heartbeat pick up speed for completely different reasons than fear as they nearly stood nose to nose.

"What's wrong Clarice?"

"Barney knows…" She whispered. He could hear her clearly.

"Yes, he has turned out to be quite observant." His voice was low and it sent chills down her spine. "Was he nice about it?"

"He didn't seem judgmental if that's what you're asking."

"Good…" He stepped back, disrupting the feeling of peace that his presence and his voice had her in. "Please Clarice, do sit down."

She glanced at the chair that had been put out for her and she knew very well what it meant if she sat down on it; they wouldn't be able to speak freely. Instead, she sat down on the cold floor and stared back at him. Hannibal smirked.

With a swift movement, he was sitting on the floor right in front of her; their faces only a few inches apart. She bit her lip shyly and averted her eyes from his as she realized that he was staring. Or was it her?

"You look good." He said after a moment of silence. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm tired…" She said, suppressing the urge to yawn.

"Is Alexandria keeping you up at night, hmmm?" He asked with a humorous glint in his eyes. "A nice change from the lambs, I believe."

"Yes, quite." Clarice said as she returned her gaze to his. They were more brown than red at the moment, she noticed. Her thoughts landed on Alex. "Her eyes are still blue…"

"I like blue." He said, blinking once. "Or do you prefer another color?"

Clarice shook her head with a smile at his words. "Blue is fine… I just wonder what they'd look like if they were brown."

"I like blue." He repeated with a small smile. She could see the pink sheen to his cheeks and she wondered if she'd managed to flatter him somehow. "Is she at home?"

"Yes, Ardelia is looking after her."

"She must be quite the friend to do that for you…"

"She has been very helpful."

"And Jack?"

Clarice suppressed a sigh as he asked. What was it with him and Jack Crawford? His wide eyed question made her feel bad though and she bit her lip as she felt the guilt build in her stomach.

"He came by yesterday…"

"I see." Hannibal didn't move an inch, but she could see his chest heave as he tried to calm himself. "What does he think of Alexandria?"

"He likes her."

"Have you considered…" He started. "That he might know? Has the thought passed through your mind that he suspects and the only reason he's hanging around is to get his suspicions confirmed? He might not even hold it against you. He might just be there to see if the cannibal's child is normal, healthy, _sane_… Maybe he even thinks that I raped you and he's feeling guilty for throwing you into my arms and he's now trying to make up for it… Have you thought about that, hmm?"

Clarice looked at the floor as his words hit her. She knew that he was only jealous and that he was trying to protect her in his own way, but it still stung. Of course she'd thought about that. She was constantly afraid that her boss would one day confront her about it and ask the question that could send her to prison for the rest of her life unless she told him that she'd been raped. Clarice took a shaky breath as she felt her throat clench.

"I apologize Clarice…" Hannibal's words made her look up and she saw him blink as their eyes met. "I was out of line."

It was a lie of course. If he thought that he was out of line, he wouldn't have said so in the first place, but she accepted his apology with a small nod nonetheless. She sat still in front of him as she thought about his words, running them through her head and trying to make them fit with Jack's behavior. No, if her boss suspected anything then he either didn't care or thought that it had happened against her will. He had puppy love written all over him when he was near her, that, or he was trying to be awkwardly nice to her because he thought something terrible had happened to her in Jame Gumb's basement. The latter seemed very improbable since he kept sending her to see Hannibal…

"What is Alexandria like?" Hannibal asked as the silence stretched on.

"Alex is…" Clarice searched her mind for the right words but couldn't really come up with anything that made her justice. "She's very small, more so than other babies her age. She has your hair. It's very dark and soft. Her eyes are blue and her nose is all yours as well."

She noticed how Hannibal smiled at her words. It wasn't the usual, cruel smile but the genuine one that she so rarely saw. As it slowly disappeared, she realized that she wanted to see him smile like that more often. Before she knew what she was doing, she'd reached into her handbag and withdrawn a small photograph. It showed Alex looking up at the camera from the crib that Hannibal had bought. Her arms were grabbing for something invisible above her and her small feet were dressed in tiny, blue socks that matched the blue jumpsuit that she wore so often. Clarice looked up only to see Hannibal staring at the picture curiously, still not knowing what it represented.

Her legs felt stiff as she got up and placed it in the sliding food tray. Hannibal had mimicked her movements and looked into the tray as it came through. She saw his eyes widen and his tongue slip out to lick his lips. He reached out his hand and he lifted out the photograph, staring at it. He traced the outline of Alex's face with his thumb and his eyes flickered to Clarice for a moment, before returning to the baby picture.

"May I keep it?" He asked; his voice hoarser than usual.

"Of course."

"Thank you Clarice." He smiled that smile that she so loved to see. "Thank you."

* * *

When Barney made his rounds that night before the night guards were going to take over, he saw Dr. Lecter lay on his bed, staring at a small piece of paper in his hand. The Doctor looked up as he heard the big orderly outside his cell.

"I brought you an extra blanket, if you want it Dr. Lecter."

"That would be quite nice, thank you Barney. Just send it through."

Barney did as he was told. It was with a yelp of surprise that he turned back to the cell though. Dr. Lecter had soundlessly moved across the room as Barney had looked away and was now standing close up against the glass as if it wasn't even there.

"I'm sorry if I startled you Barney." He didn't look very sorry though. "I have something to show you."

"Oh, what is it?" Barney asked, trying to calm his leaping heart. This wasn't embarrassing at all.

Dr. Lecter held out the small picture that he'd been holding in his hand and Barney had to take a step back to see it clearly as it was pressed up against the glass. It showed a small baby, looking up at the camera. Barney would have thought it was a boy from the blue color of the jumpsuit, but he knew better.

"And that must be little Alex." Barney said. Dr. Lecter smiled at his words and the big orderly realized that the man wasn't just showing him something because it could be interesting, no, the Doctor had pride written all over his face and his posture as he stood straight, holding out the picture in front of him. Barney lowered his voice as he spoke the next part "She looks like you, you know."

"You think?" The Doctor withdrew the picture to look at it for the hundredth time that day. "I think she looks like Clarice…"

"Her eyes might be blue, but with her hair and dressed in that jumpsuit… It could be you… just _smaller… _and cuter, definitely cuter."

Dr. Lecter smiled in amusement. "Yes, I can't quite compete with her, can I now? I'm not sure what to think of the way Clarice has dressed her… I think I might have lost my sense of humor in here…."

"I think she had a laugh when she dressed up Alex that day."

"So do I Barney, so do I."

Dr. Lecter glanced down at the picture in his hand and returned to his cot. Barney knew it was a dismissal and he bid the good doctor goodnight. As he finished up for the day, Barney shook his head in amusement as he thought of Dr. Lecter's picture.

It was a rare sight to see him happy, content maybe, but rarely, genuinely happy.

**A/N:**

**Please review!**

**I hope to update soon, but I'm afraid school is going to take up more and more time the further into the semester as we get :/ **

**Till next time!**

**Firebolt**


	15. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: All the characters in here belong to Thomas Harris.**

**A/N: **

**Thanks for the reviews guys! Without you, I'd given up ages ago :) **

**Now to some real action.**

**Enjoy!**

Chapter Fourteen

It was a dark November day when we once again visit our dear friends. Two weeks had passed by since Hannibal had had the privilege of seeing Clarice and it was now the 27'Th of November; Alexandria's one month birthday.

Hannibal was currently sitting in the solitude of his cell. His maroon eyes were fixed on a worn picture in his hand. He had long since memorized it, but he still liked to have it in his hand as if it was proof of the tiny being's existence. He was at his desk; his books were unopened and his drawings half-finished. Somehow, he found those activities trivial now, as he kept his gaze on tiny Alexandria's form. He wondered if her eyes had changed color or if she had grown as she was supposed to.

The sounds in the dungeon didn't bother him as they used to. He could hear his new neighbor muttering and the sounds of someone further down the hall who was entertaining himself with his hands. It was normal behavior down here and he ignored it the best he could.

But then, something broke the atmosphere.

Hannibal snapped his head towards the end of the hall as he heard the barred door swing open. The sound of the guards' footsteps could be heard along with a pair that sounded suspiciously as Dr. Chilton. He opened one of his books quickly and slipped the small photograph into its pages. He shut it and dropped it on the table as Dr. Chilton came into view. He knew that his hands were empty and that it looked suspiciously like he'd just been doing something only moments before. Hannibal kept his eyes on the table as he heard the three guards stop up beside their boss.

It was with an annoyed sigh that he lifted his head and glared at the men in front of him.

"Good afternoon Hannibal." Dr. Chilton sounded gleeful and Hannibal leaned back in his seat, expecting to hear more. "What were you just doing?"

Hannibal remained quiet, but he felt an urge to close his eyes and pretend that he was somewhere else entirely. It wouldn't do though. He knew where this was going.

"_I saw you_ Hannibal. Now answer me." Dr. Chilton came closer to the glass. "Before we came in here, on the security camera, you had something in your hand. Now, where is it?"

He kept his eyes off the book containing the baby picture as he stared stubbornly into thin air. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw one of the orderlies shift nervously and he knew it was Barney.

Dr. Chilton turned around and took the straight jacket out of Dean's hands. He put it into the sliding food tray and pushed it through.

"Put it on."

Hannibal knew exactly what would happen if he didn't do as he was bid and it was with stiff movements that he got up. He slipped his arms through the sleeves and took a few steps back, away from the door and waited there with his back to them. It occurred to him that no one had bothered with sending the mask through.

He heard the glass door slide open and the orderlies step in. He felt Barney's firm grip as he strapped in the straight jacket.

"Hold him against the wall."

The orderlies did as they were bid, pushing him towards the wall and holding him firmly into place. He realized that it didn't matter whether he was wearing his mask or not as his cheek was pressed against one of his drawings. He knew it would leave a dark smudge on his face.

"You there…." Dr. Chilton started saying.

"Dean, sir."

"Yes, Dean, help me search the room."

"What are we looking for sir?"

"Anything sharp or potentially dangerous. And if you find the slip of paper that he was looking at before. Give it to me."

Hannibal closed his eyes at Dr. Chilton's words and listened to the sounds as they started turning his room upside down. He hated this part. It was only protocol to search any inmate's room and he knew that it was usually nothing personal, but it always left a bad taste in his mouth as his privacy felt violated. They left their smells all over his room and it took days before it felt homely again. But when Dr. Chilton decided to join in… it was no longer only part of the routine.

He heard the sheets being ripped off his bed and the mattress turned upside down. They checked every inch of the toilet and shifted through his drawings one by one, noting the motives. It wasn't till they reached the books though that Hannibal felt something in his chest clench.

They flipped through the pages, waiting for the small piece of paper to fall out. Finally, it did.

"What do we have here…?" Dr. Chilton's voice rang through the silence. Hannibal couldn't see him, but he could imagine him bending down and picking up the picture. He opened his eyes and tried to look behind him. Barney's firm hand on his neck prevented him from even turning his head one inch.

"What the…?"

Dr. Chilton sounded confused and Hannibal knew that he'd taken in Alexandria's small form. He took a deep breath in through his nose. The room had gone quiet and he could hear Barney's heart beat against his back as the big orderly held him in place with his entire bodyweight. Jim was standing on his other side doing the exact same thing. He could see young Dean Morris stand by the bed, glancing in Dr. Chilton's direction with curiosity on his face.

"Who is in this picture, Hannibal?" He sounded cautious. Hannibal held his tongue and kept his eyes on Dean who was starting to become uncomfortable. He heard Dr. Chilton sigh in defeat. "Well, you can't keep it. You know that we don't allow pictures of children in the cells. Mostly because we have sexual predators in this facility."

There was a moment of silence again and Hannibal heard a low chuckle emerge from the incompetent jailor. "I didn't know that you liked children Hannibal…"

Hannibal felt his entire being stiffen. A tremor ran down his spine as he felt anger starting to boil in his stomach. He could feel Barney's heart going faster and faster and he knew that he wasn't the only one who found this comment offensive. He wanted to say something, anything, but he remained quiet and gritted his teeth.

"It doesn't matter Hannibal." Dr. Chilton had felt the mood change in the room. "The point is that you can't keep this picture. That is, unless you tell me who's in it and I decide it's harmless…"

He remained quiet. Part of him felt too prideful to give Dr. Chilton what he wanted. Another part of him wanted to get on his knees and beg to keep the picture, but he knew that if he opened his mouth and said just part of the truth, Clarice would get into trouble. He closed his eyes briefly. There was nothing he could do.

Dr. Chilton didn't wait long as he didn't expect an answer. Hannibal heard him step out of his cell and he felt Barney and Jim loosen their grip on him.

"If you turn around before you hear the cell door close, we'll shoot, understood?"

Hannibal nodded at Barney's words and he felt the straight jacket being loosened. He couldn't speak as he felt his throat clench and his stomach fill up with anger. Dr. Chilton had taken the picture. The _only _picture he had. He could remember every detail of it, but it still mattered to him. It was the only link he had to her; his _baby girl._

His heartbeat picked up speed. He wasn't wearing his mask.

The decision was easy.

As he heard the orderlies exit the cell, he whirled around. Barney was in the door, his hand on the door frame and just about to close it. Hannibal ran forward, his arms in the straight jacket but free in front of him. Barney only had time to look up before Hannibal was in the door and pushed the orderly aside with such a force that Barney stumbled back and fell into Jim.

A whooshing sound could be heard as Dean fired the tranquilizer gun but Hannibal hardly registered the searing pain as he came face to face with Dr. Chilton, who was standing mouth agape against the wall. Dr. Chilton stood completely still as Hannibal put his arm around the man's neck, drawing him down and sinking his teeth into his cheek. Dr. Chilton screamed and started struggling. Hannibal held onto him with only one arm as his other struggled to wrench the picture out of his hand. It proved harder than he'd expected as Hannibal's hand was inside the closed sleeve of the jacket, but Dr. Chilton let go of it as he pushed against Hannibal's chest with both hands.

Hannibal could feel the blood flow down his chin as he tore a piece of flesh from the man's face and started chewing. He started feeling woozy though as the tranquilizer kicked in those few seconds later. He could feel arms around his torso and he was wrenched away from Dr. Chilton, taking out another chunk of his face in the process.

He was thrown back into his cell and he vaguely heard the glass door slide shut.

The picture was in his hand and looked intact despite the struggle for it.

Hannibal smiled.

He felt funny…

As he took a step towards his bed, the entire room spun around him and he fell down with a heavy thump.

* * *

Barney forced the door close as Dr. Lecter stumbled into his cell. The big orderly turned around to his boss and heard the thumb as the Doctor fell to the ground unconscious.

Dr. Chilton was sobbing into his hands as he clutched his face. Blood seeped out through his fingers and dripped to the floor and down his shirt. Dean was standing still, holding the tranquilizer to his chest with a frightened expression on his face.

Jim on the other hand was a bit more lucid as he went up to Dr. Chilton and put his arm around his shoulder.

"I'll take him to the infirmary."

Barney nodded, glancing back to the still form of Dr. Lecter in his cell.

"I'll clean up Dr. Lecter. Dean, give me the gun and follow Jim." The young boy did as he was told, handing over the tranquilizer without saying anything and jogging after Jim who was already well down the hall.

Barney rubbed his temples and closed his eyes momentarily. The other inmates were screaming and yelling, making as much noise as they could. One or two of the more level headed ones were yelling out Dr. Lecter's name, cheering him on. The big orderly looked at his friend's unconscious form on the floor in his cell. His jumpsuit was dark with blood on his chest and his chin was completely red. A piece of meat was lying on the floor beside his head. Barney ran a hand through his hair as he glanced at the picture in his hand and the smile on his face. So much damage in so little time…

What had he done…?

Barney opened the door again, moving inside cautiously. He decided that it would be best to clean him up while he was still unconscious. He removed the tranquilizer dart from his shoulder and took the small picture out of his hand. Agent Starling's baby was looking up at him as he unbuttoned Dr. Lecter's jumpsuit and hid it in the folds of his clothes. He knew that the entire cell would be emptied as punishment and the only place to hide it would be on his person.

It was with a grunt of effort that Barney lifted up the older man and placed him on his bed.

He glanced down at the still smiling face of his friend. He wouldn't be smiling as soon as Dr. Chilton felt better…

Barney cleaned the floor from blood, both outside and inside the cell and disposed of the few meat pieces lying around. He considered cleaning Dr. Lecter as well, but opted for leaving him some clean clothes in the food tray instead and a washing cloth. He'd be fine as soon as he woke up.

As Barney locked the cell door behind him, he could feel his heart thump nervously against his ribcage. This was bad. This was _so _bad…

* * *

The sun had long since descended. The shadows outside were darker than usual as the cloudy sky outside blocked the moon's glow. A car pulled up outside a big, looming building and a man stepped out, glancing around himself nervously. He opened the heavy doors and stepped in.

Inside the Baltimore asylum, the halls were quiet and empty. The room he was looking for was much higher up than the dungeon where its most famous inmate was currently sleeping for the night; content and happy with the day's accomplishments.

The man's hollow footsteps rang through the building and as he reached door number 213, he stopped up.

Mechanical wheezing and beeping could be heard from inside and the man pushed the door open, taking in the sight before him.

A man was lying in a hospital bed. His face was covered in bandages and tubes were attached to his arms, pumping drugs and fluids through his system. His name was Dr. Frederick Chilton.

The visitor was called Cordell Doemling.

As the door closed behind him, Cordell went forward and lowered the morphine level. He seated himself by Dr. Chilton and waited for the man to wake up. It didn't take long as the pain became insufferable.

"Dr. Chilton, can you hear me?"

A groan could be heard in response.

"My name is Cordell, I represent Mr. Mason Verger. He has an offer for you…"

**A/N:**

**This chapter might be short but it sure as hell was fun to write ;)  
I hope you enjoyed it!**

**Do tell me your thoughts, some of you might have guessed where this is going… or not! HIhihihihhihi!**

**I do prefer an evil giggle**

**Firebolt**


	16. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: All the characters in here belong to Thomas Harris.**

**A/N:  
Thanks for the reviews! **

**I apologize for the wait, but school is keeping me busy. **

**Enjoy the next installment and if there's pressure on, I'll try and update soon.**

Chapter Fifteen

It was a grey and dark day outside as November was drawing towards its end. Clarice was on the couch, watching her child lying on her stomach on the floor. A Christmas commercial was playing on the TV but Clarice ignored it as she watched Alex try to lift her head. The small baby was doing an immense effort, succeeding for a split second before giving up and letting her cheek rest against the carpet.

Alex had turned one month old a day ago and Clarice couldn't help but think that the last few weeks had passed by in a blur. She was growing so fast and it was only a few days ago that Clarice had been rewarded with Alex's first, real smile. It had been a toothless grin and Alex had gurgled happily afterwards.

Clarice wasn't smiling though as she watched her child. She'd gotten a call yesterday from Crawford and it had left a bad taste in her mouth. Hannibal had attacked Chilton. It was still unclear why it had happened since Chilton was sleeping his way through the pain and the guards weren't talking. She'd asked Crawford if she could visit and ask him herself, but he'd told her no. No one was going to see him before an investigation had been made and besides, the Asylum was trying to shut out the FBI, making it very clear that it wasn't their jurisdiction.

"Sometimes I wonder if your daddy is really such a genius…" At her own words, Clarice got up from the couch and picked up the baby, who looked very confused at the change of position.

"It's very impolite to bite people." Clarice bit her lip guiltily as Alex gurgled happily at the sound of her voice. She shouldn't talk about Hannibal near the child. It could become a habit and who knew how much the child would pick up on in a year's time. She shifted the baby into the crook of her elbow and walked into the nursery. "And you need a diaper change young lady..."

Changing diapers had become routine, but Clarice still found herself turning her head away from time to time when it became too bad. She'd often wondered how Hannibal would react to a diaper with his acute sense of smell and as she pictured the scenario in her head, she tried hard to resist laughing. Somehow, it seemed absurd to put Hannibal in such a position. If it was up to him, he'd probably hire a nanny to do it. She shook her head. Maybe he would have done so before he went to prison, but as it was today, she doubted that he'd want to miss a single diaper change.

As she pulled up Alex's pants, she heard the sound of the doorbell. That was weird… she wasn't expecting anyone…

She carried Alex with her through the house and opened the door slowly only to reveal the stern face of Jack Crawford. Clarice smiled in relief and opened the door wider.

"Hi Jack."

Crawford nodded and gave a quick smile that quickly dropped. He glanced at Alex in her arms and Clarice noticed how his features softened.

"Clarice." He greeted courtly. "How are you?"

"We're fine, thank you Jack."

"Can I come in?" He asked politely, glancing past her shoulder and into the house. It had become a bit messy during the week, but it wasn't so bad that she felt ashamed about showing him in. She nodded with a small smile and stepped aside, letting him enter the house. He took off his grey, winter coat and folded it neatly on a chair. "I wanted to talk to you about Lecter."

Clarice felt Alex try to lift her head and she was momentarily distracted by the movement, but her stomach still managed to fill up with anything else but butterflies.

"Lecter…?" She asked, keeping her tone neutral.

"Yes." Crawford wasn't smiling anymore. "We should sit down."

Clarice breathed in through her nose as she let him into the living room. She sat down and shifted Alex in her arms, letting her head rest in the crook of her elbow instead of on her shoulder. Jack Crawford sat down on a chair that was facing her. All of a sudden it didn't feel like a friendly visit at all.

"Why are you here?" The question stumbled out before she could stop herself. Jack looked momentarily startled and Clarice gave him a hard look. There was no reason to pretend that she didn't know that it wasn't a social call.

"I came to tell you what's going to happen with Hannibal Lecter. I'm sure you can appreciate that."

"Yes…" Clarice glanced down at Alex. Her blue eyes were wide open, focusing on her mother's face. "Is Dr. Chilton talking yet?"

"Yes, he woke up this morning. He claims that the attack was unprovoked and merely an impulsive and opportune decision on Lecter's part. He says that they breached the security protocol and that it's their own fault."

"So what's going to happen now?" Clarice asked, trying not to bite her lip nervously.

"We wanted to investigate the matter, but the Asylum had their lawyer step in. It's not our jurisdiction. They don't have to show us anything. They won't let us near the security tape either or talk to the guards or Dr. Lecter himself."

Clarice frowned. "Is it just me or does it sound like…"

"They're hiding something." Jack finished her sentence, taking a deep breath. He glanced at Alex in her arms only to look away quickly. "I wanted you to step in and have a talk with Lecter, but the Asylum called my superiors. They know that Lecter views your visits as something positive and they're now treating it like a privilege and they have all been suspended."

"The last time they punished him…" Clarice held Alex closer as she felt her throat tighten. "…it was awful Jack. You have to do something. You read my report. They took his toilet seat. I don't even want to know what they'll do now that it has turned personal for Chilton…"

"Clarice…" Crawford's voice was strained and he was averting her eyes. "There's nothing I can do and there's nothing you can do either. That's what I'm here to tell you. No one in the FBI gives a rat's ass about him and as long as we can't use him in connection with a case, we can't go near him."

"But… I _have _to talk with him. I _need _to…" Clarice could feel the tears press on as her anger grew. Alex squirmed in her arms and she loosened her grip.

"I'm sorry Clarice. We no longer have permission to contact him."

"But… what if… what if I go as a private person?"

Jack snapped for air as he looked away from her. His mouth was in a thin line and his eyes hardened as they landed on the child in her arms.

"Clarice. You need to understand what you're suggesting." Crawford closed his eyes momentarily and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "If you write yourself up as a private visitor… I won't be able to help you anymore."

"Help me..?"

"You know what it did to your reputation when you first started visiting. The press might not be writing about you right now but that doesn't mean that they've forgotten you." Jack said. "They will talk and who knows what kind of vile things they'll say. You have to think about your child."

"Alex…" Her heart skipped a beat.

"Yes, Alex. You know what it will look like if they start writing about your baby." Jack gritted his teeth. "The timing alone… someone out there will say it's his. I know it's not true because I _know _you. You'd never do that, but even I can't deny that the timing of Alex's birth coincides with what happened this February…"

"You…" Clarice felt her heart leap into her throat. Jack was looking at the floor and she knew that he was awaiting her reaction. She shifted Alex in her arms, placing her head on her shoulder. Her lips parted as she played his words over in her head. How could he even say that..? The worst part was that it was true and she felt her stomach turn. "_I know it's not true because I know you. You'd never do that" _Guilt started flooding her mind and she closed her eyes. How could he… but he was right. He was so right.

Clarice remained silent and she could hear Jack shift uncomfortably in his seat. Finally she opened her eyes and glared at him. She could feel the tears press on at his words but there was no way in hell that she would cry in front of him.

"I know you didn't do anything Clarice." He said as the silence became too much for him. He was sitting stiffly in his seat looking anywhere but at her. "I don't think…"

"What don't you think?" She tried to breathe through her nose and she felt Alex squirm as she sensed that something was absolutely wrong. Jack was biting his lip and she noticed how his eyes had filled up with guilt.

"It's not my place to think anything." He nearly whispered. "If he is… if he is Alex's father, which I doubt, I don't think it was your fault. I shouldn't have… I was the one who… But I don't think it's Lecter. I mean, she's a good girl. It wouldn't matter and it's not my place to ask…"

"You're right…" Clarice voice was hoarse as she spoke and she saw him shift in his seat at her words. "It's not your place to ask."

"I'm… I'm sorry."

"Get out." She didn't look at him as she said it. Clarice took a deep breath. "Get out…"

Jack rose from his seat silently. She sensed him looking at her but she remained quiet as she shifted the small baby in her arms. His footsteps were heavy as he walked out of the room and she heard the door slam shut as he left the house. Clarice ran a hand through her hair, trying to calm herself. Oh fuck… He knew. Jack Crawford might be in denial at the moment, but he had connected the dots. Clarice glanced down at Alex. Her bright blue eyes were dancing over her mother's face and she made a small, content sound. Her hair had grown and become darker and Clarice ran her hand over it.

"I can't see your daddy anymore…" Clarice whispered. Alex gurgled happily and Clarice leaned down, placing a kiss on her tiny nose. "But I can still see you, so it's okay."

Her own words didn't make her feel much better. Somehow, her whole life had become about Hannibal, but that wasn't true anymore. It was about Alexandria now and she was more important. She had to protect her baby and if protecting her baby meant that she couldn't see Hannibal anymore… so be it.

He would understand.

Clarice rose from her seat with Alex in her arms. As she walked into the nursery and placed her in the crib that Hannibal had bought, a decision formed in her mind. She sat down on the chair by the crib and placed her hand on Alex's tummy, making small, soothing motions. If the day came where someone decided that Alex's birth coincided with Hannibal's escape in Memphis, she'd just have to do what he'd told her to. She had to protect her baby and the only way she could do that was if she stayed out of prison. All she had to do was call it rape, quit her job and move far, far away.

It left a very bitter taste in her mouth.

Alex gurgled happily and smiled, making Clarice's heart skip a beat as she remembered how much she loved her tiny daughter.

As much as she hated to even think of accusing Hannibal of such a vile thing, she knew that he'd understand. He would probably even play along and confess if it meant that she could walk free and keep her daughter.

Clarice glanced down at the tiny baby and knew that she wouldn't hesitate one moment in accusing him if it meant that she could keep Alex.

Everything would turn out just fine.

* * *

Despite the circumstances, Hannibal was rather content with himself.

Even though his punishment meant that he only had his cot in his room and nothing else, he kept reliving yesterday's events and the cold room suddenly felt much warmer… and bloodier.

He savored the memory of taking a chunk out of Chilton as he sat on the hard, stone floor. His eyes were closed and a light smile was resting on his lips. The warm blood had run down his chin and he'd felt the other man's heartbeat go berserk as he'd drawn them close together. How wonderful…

His cell was completely empty, yet it felt fuller than ever before as he felt the sharp edge of the photograph press against his ankle. He blinked his eyes open and rested his hand against his sock where he knew he'd hid the picture of little Alex. He still had it and it made him smile even more. Hannibal had long since come to appreciate the small victories and ripping it out of Chilton's hand had been one of the greater.

It was becoming late and it was about time that he got to bed even though he had no mattress. Barney had been kind enough to give him a few extra blankets, but he doubted that it would make a great difference. Hannibal hadn't seen Dr. Chilton since the incident yesterday, but he couldn't wait to see his face. He'd asked Barney about him and been told that he was currently in the medical wing. Barney had also told him a few other things.

All his privileges had been suspended. That meant that he couldn't go to the exercise pen, but most importantly it meant that he'd no longer receive any visits from Clarice. They hadn't been able to touch his mail rights though and he had every intention of writing her a letter as soon as possible. Barney had also told him a bit about what was going on and his words worried him. Apparently, Dr. Chilton had made no mention of the picture and had even gone as far as to tell the guards to keep quiet as well, though they'd already been doing so on Barney's request.

Dr. Chilton was up to something and Hannibal had far too many scenarios in mind to form a clear picture. If he had figured out who the baby was… The repercussions made him shudder.

The man was both petty and greedy; a combination that didn't bode well for anyone.

Hannibal had made a list in his head of the most possible outcomes of this. Blackmail was number one, but what happened next made number sixteen on the list seem much more plausible.

As he sat on the floor, deep in thoughts, he suddenly heard a gun go off. It wasn't very loud and the distortion of the sound made him recognize it as a gun with a silencer. Immediately another shot followed and Hannibal was on his feet faster than ever before. He glanced out of his cell and stood still. He heard the barred door at the end of the hall swing open and the hurried footsteps as several people ran down the hall. A stench of piss, shit and pigs entered his nose and fought hard to not appear affected as three men came into view.

"Good evening gentlemen." He said politely. "Can I assume that we need to find new night guards again?"

"Buonasera…" The smallest of the men said. Hannibal noted that he was the one the smell came from and that his accent was Italian maybe even Sardinian. "I'm not sure they'll need night guards anymore. You're not staying."

"Ahh, may I ask where we're going?"

"No, we might take the security tape but we were asked not to kill all you nice friends down here. If I tell you, I'll have to put a bullet through their heads."

Hannibal smiled and he saw the men shift nervously as they saw his teeth.

"Lead the way then."

**A/N:  
Another short chapter…**

**I think it might have something to do with being extremely busy at the moment but still feeling an urge to update :P**

**I hope school/work or whatever you're doing isn't keeping you from reading this. After all, it's much faster to read than to write ;)**

**Please review! It makes writing so much easier and the updates come faster (sad but true). **

**Things are picking up speed so stay tuned for the next installment!**

**Firebolt**


	17. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: All the characters in here belong to Thomas Harris.**

**A/N: **

**I'm sorry for the long wait. I've been busy with school and exams, but this story has not been far from my mind. I really appreciate the reviews and the messages, even though I haven't had the time to respond to them. If it wasn't for your kind words and attention to this story; I probably wouldn't have felt the same need to return. **

**I really hope you'll enjoy this chapter! I put a lot of work into the continuity of the events and not contradicting myself. **

**Enjoy!**

Chapter Sixteen

Barney was the one who made the call.

As usual, the big orderly was the first person to arrive in the morning. It was cold and dark outside as the end of November called upon the winter chill of the Christmas month. Barney drew his coat closer around him, as he hurried across the empty parking lot. Nothing seemed amiss as he pushed open the door to the somber, old building. He nodded to the aging guard that had most likely been sleeping through the night despite his job description and then proceeded to make his way to the lower levels.

It wasn't till he reached the bottom of the stairs that he realized that something was completely wrong.

Barney halted mid-step and stared at the door at the end of the hall. He could feel his breath slip past his lips slowly as he took in the sight of a body lying on the floor; his arm outstretched behind him. He immediately recognized the dark cap and as the last of his breath whistled out between his now clenched teeth, he realized that it was a night guard.

It was only with a moment's hesitation that Barney decided to proceed forward cautiously. His hands were clenched hard as he walked slowly past the body of the guard and entered the security room, where the monitors had all been turned off. The second guard was sitting in a chair with his head resting awkwardly on his shoulder. His cap was lying in the blood that had pooled beneath him and Barney noticed how his spine had been severed as a bullet had gone through his neck. The big orderly tried to swallow a groan as his heart started thumping uncomfortably loud. His hand went towards the phone on the desk, but something made him stop.

The monitors were off…

His mind went into overdrive within a split second and he snatched his hand back, turning his head towards the barred door that lead to the ward containing the Asylum's most dangerous inmates.

It was open.

Barney went through it without giving any thought to arming himself or how he would protect himself, if anything should happen. He didn't even stop to check on the other inmates. Their muttering and their shouting could be heard as he rushed past them. They all said the same thing; _They took him. He's gone._

He reached the last cell and felt his blood run cold as he stopped running. Barney stepped back, leaning against the wall behind him. He ran his hands over his face and felt his chest clench painfully as tears of frustration sprung to his eyes. He was too late. There was nothing he could do. He looked up again, staring at the cell. The glass door was open and no one was inside.

Doctor Lecter was gone…

* * *

The anger was consuming her.

Clarice could hardly contain herself as she stood in front of the empty cell. Her whole frame was shaking and she knew that it was only a matter of time before tears started prickling behind her eyes. She couldn't make herself look at the men around her as they spoke hurriedly together. Jack Crawford was going over the same details again and again with Barney and the guard that had been supposed to watch the main entrance that night.

How could this have happened? It felt as if her entire world was crumbling around her as she took in the sight of Hannibal's empty bed. Crawford had called her early this morning, telling her to get ready; they were going to the Asylum. Ardelia hadn't been pleased, but she'd agreed to take the day off and watch Alex. Clarice had been filled in on the details as they drove to Baltimore; the guards had been killed and Hannibal Lecter was missing.

She was vaguely aware that the men had stopped talking and she knew that a question had been directed to her. Clarice turned her head and raised an eyebrow calmly.

"Are you okay Agent Starling?"

It was Barney who had spoken. His big frame seemed so much smaller today and she noticed the concern in his eyes as he repeated his question.

"Doctor Lecter is missing…" She said slowly, taking a deep breath as she prepared herself to say what had been on her mind the entire day. "We all know who did it."

The aging night guard was the only one who seemed confused at this. Crawford shook his head silently and crossed his arms over his chest, while Barney just looked away with something akin to shame in his eyes.

"What does Dr. Chilton have to say about this?" She asked as the men didn't react.

"He hasn't been told yet. He's still in the med wing." Barney spoke softly. Clarice nodded, returning her gaze to the empty cell.

"I'll go talk to him." She said, clenching her fists. "What room is he in?"

"Room 213…"

As soon as Barney had spoken the words, Clarice turned around and marched right past them. Crawford stayed behind and she heard his voice, as he started questioning the night guard again. Relief passed through her as she realized that she did not want him to see her interact with Chilton.

She walked through the halls of the Asylum, keeping her head high, as she heard the whispers from the employees and the inmates. They'd all heard what had happened, and it seemed that most of them were aware that she was an FBI agent, though it didn't stop them from staring and even pointing at her. A cleaning lady even went as far as asking if they'd found Dr. Lecter yet. Clarice just shook her head firmly and walked past her, feeling her jaw clench in anger. These people were all scared of him, but no one was as scared as she was at the moment, imagining what he might be going through at the hands of that monster. Still, it was her who had to deal with the situation and the implications of not finding him again.

It didn't take long for her to reach Chilton's room, and she knocked on it sharply. A muffled voice could be heard through the door, and taking it as an invitation, she pushed the door open. The curtains were closed, but there was still enough light for her to see the shape in the bed. Bandages covered most of his face, but Clarice still recognized the brown hair sticking out from underneath it.

"Dr. Chilton." She spoke, as she closed the door behind her and stepped into the room. There was a chair by the bedside and as she seated herself, Chilton turned his head towards her. His eyes shone through the darkness, and she saw him blink with curiosity.

"Miss Starling…" His voice was slightly muffled by the bandages, but she understood his words clearly. "This is a nice surprise…"

Clarice had to restrain herself, as she felt an urge to roll her eyes at his tone, which was as flirtatious as always. She decided to make their conversation as short as possible. "Dr. Lecter is missing."

At her words, Chilton turned his head away with a sigh. His voice had lost all of its pretentious charm, as he spoke again. "I know."

"So they've informed you?"

Chilton didn't respond to her question and Clarice felt her fist clench tightly. No one had told him about this as Barney had said. He already knew.

"Why did you do it?" She tried to remain calm as she spoke, but she could feel her jaw tighten in anger and the words came out as a hiss.

"I don't know." He said, oddly calm. Clarice noticed his morphine level and she saw his eyes follow her, as she reached out and lowered it. He grunted at this. "You'll put me in pain."

"I figured." She said.

"Why are you here?"

"I want to know where _Hannibal _is."

No sooner than she'd finished speaking, did she realize her mistake. All her anger left her in an instant as her eyes went wide in fear and her heart started thumping in her chest.

"_Hannibal, _is it?" Chilton sneered; his eyes clearing up as the effect of the morphine slowly started to wear off. Clarice remained quiet and to her surprise, she saw the incompetent doctor turn his head away from her with resignation. "He gets to you, doesn't he? He gets inside your head and you can't make him disappear. I just want him gone…"

"So you gave him up…?" She breathed in deeply as he nodded at her words. "Was it Mason Verger who took him?"

Chilton shook his head. "I won't tell."

Clarice bit her lip. Her heart was racing in her chest and she tried desperately to control her breathing, so the bandaged man wouldn't notice. He was staring resolutely at the ceiling, and she knew that he wouldn't give up the information. But that was all she needed. She knew where Hannibal was.

As she rose from her seat; Chilton spoke again. "I didn't tell anyone, you know…"

"Tell them what…?" Her brow furrowed at his words.

"I didn't tell anyone why he attacked me."

Clarice stared at the still man, awaiting his next words with curiosity.

"I found the picture, you know, and I tried to take it from him. I shouldn't have done that." Chilton closed his eyes briefly, turning his gaze towards her. "I know it's you baby Miss Starling. I'm not stupid even though Hannibal treats me like an imbecile. What did he do to you?"

Clarice felt her eyes go wide as her throat closed tight. Fear gripped her as she realized the implications of his words. Chilton was studying her with curiosity and it was in that moment that she realized just how much she'd underestimated the man. She'd thought him stupid and vile, when she should have looked past his pathetic attempts at charming her and realized that the man was capable of so much more.

"It's his child, isn't it?"

Her heart leapt in her chest and she turned around, intending to rush out of the room and only halting when he spoke again.

"I didn't tell anyone…" His voice sounded oddly strangled as the bandages prevented him from speaking clearly. She realized that he would soon be in pain as the morphine had been turned too low. "I'm sorry that he got to you. I told you to be careful around him, remember?"

Clarice looked back at him and nodded, trying to decipher his intentions.

"You're going after him, aren't you?" He saw her nod again. "He really got to you, didn't he? Just… if you get him out… please tell him that I didn't tell anyone. I didn't tell anyone about you… or the baby… He's going to come after me, isn't he?"

Clarice could do nothing else but nod again.

"Will it help that I didn't tell on you?" Pain had entered his voice and it wouldn't be long before he'd call for the nurses to turn up the morphine. "Is he still going to kill me?"

She looked down at the disfigured man on the bed and saw his pleading eyes through the gaps of the bandages. Her voice was cold when she finally spoke. "You never know…"

And then she left him.

His voice followed her down the hall as he called for her. In her mind, she could already hear his screams, as she imagined Hannibal sneaking into the Asylum and killing him in his bed. But truth was that Clarice wasn't sure if Hannibal would ever have the opportunity to do so. She realized that Chilton would never tell anyone where Hannibal was and that not even Crawford would believe her, if she pointed her finger at Mason Verger.

It was with those thoughts running through her head that she descended the stairs to the basement and found her boss speaking to Barney. The big orderly glanced up and nodded as he saw her enter the security room. The old night guard was gone and Clarice figured that Crawford had finished with him. Her boss looked up as she cleared her throat.

"I've informed Dr. Chilton that Dr. Lecter is missing."

Barney nodded at her words. "There's hardly anything that he can do about it, but I suppose he'd have to be told at some point."

"He _is _the warden of this institution, is he not?" Crawford raised an eyebrow, awaiting Barney's response.

"Yes sir." He said. "But he's also drugged beyond his wits and he hasn't said anything coherently since Dr. Lecter ate his…"

Barney suddenly stopped talking as he realized how untactful a sentence he was just about to complete.

"Face…" Crawford said without blinking. "Since Hannibal Lecter ate his face off."

"Yes sir." Barney said mutely.

"I believe that was all I needed to know." Crawford said as he turned his head towards Clarice. "We should get going."

Clarice nodded quietly and was just about to follow after Crawford, who was almost out the door, when Barney spoke. "Can I have a word Agent Starling?"

"Sure Barney."

Crawford stopped up and looked between them. "I'll be in the car."

Clarice followed him with her eyes, waiting till he was out of sight before she turned her gaze towards Barney. The big orderly was biting his lip, keeping his eyes on his toes. She could hear the inmates muttering from where they were standing and her eyes wandered as she waited for him to speak. She noticed the blood on the floor and the monitors that had still to be turned on.

"I'm sorry Agent Starling." Barney finally said.

She felt his heavy hand on her shoulder as he tried to make a nice gesture. Tears started to gather in her eyes, but she held them back with force as she took a deep breath.

"Me too Barney."

It wasn't till she was in the car with Jack Crawford that her thoughts started to gather into a coherent and intelligible mass. She watched the scenery as they drove by and she realized that even though Hannibal was outside the Asylum; he probably wasn't able to see the trees anyway.

He deserved to see the trees, she thought quietly.

"What will happen if we find Dr. Lecter?" She asked Crawford as he drove.

"Dr. Chilton can obviously not manage having him, so he'll most likely be put into federal custody."

Federal custody? It meant better facilities. Hannibal would get his view and Clarice might be able to see him more often. It didn't sound that bad…

"Only if we find him of course."

Something in Crawford's voice made Clarice glance up. He had his eyes on the road and she saw the emptiness in them. There was no hurry or urgency in his posture and his calmness made Clarice realize that this man would do nothing, absolutely nothing, to save Doctor Hannibal Lecter's life. The trip to Baltimore had been nothing else but a charade; a play for an invisible audience, that Clarice was becoming more and more convinced of, was her.

If anyone would or could save Hannibal's life; it was her. She thought of her child at home and her dark, soft hair. It was his hair… He'd given her Alex and she owed him. She owed him more than a slow and torturous death at the hands of a deranged monster that wouldn't hesitate to do the same to herself and her daughter if he knew of their existence. She remembered his smile, his laugh and the surprise and gratitude in his eyes every time she did him a kindness. He had no one else. Clarice doubted that he'd received a single personal visitor in his years at the Asylum and she realized that she was the closest thing to family, he had.

She was the only one who cared.

* * *

Everything was quiet.

It had been so for a while and Hannibal had finally managed to doze off for a bit, despite being tied to something that could only be a cross. The Sardinians had pulled a sack over his head as soon as he stepped out of the cell. They'd been very careful about what they said; obviously having been told that he spoke Italian and it had therefore been a quiet but long trip to wherever they were now. Hannibal had his suspicions of course and was hoping that he was right about his current whereabouts. His mind, though, was elsewhere as his chin had fallen to his breast and his mind tried to rest despite the strain to his neck.

It was therefore with a sense of surprise that he snapped his head up at the sound of approaching footsteps. Hannibal felt his skin sting as a bucket of icy cold water was emptied over his head. He spluttered involuntarily as he breathed in, feeling the cloth from the sack over his head cling to his mouth; heavy with water. He tried to keep still so he could hear what they were doing, but there was no need, as he felt someone pull the sack off. He held back a groan as he blinked in pain from the sudden influx of light to his vision.

Water was running into his eyes from his hair that clung to his forehead, having been brought into disarray. He kept them open though as he quickly scanned his whereabouts. He'd been brought to a barn. A hayloft could be seen above and he was tied, quite correctly, to a cross in the middle of something that could only be a pen. He noticed a gate to his left and he heard something move behind it.

"That will be the pigs."

One of the men had spoken, having seen his eyes fixed on the barred doors. Hannibal returned his gaze to them and smiled graciously.

"I didn't realize you were having a family reunion."

No sooner had he said the words, before someone hit him over the head from behind and a younger man stepped into view as the others laughed. Hannibal could already feel a bruise form as he saw the crowbar in his hand.

"That wasn't nice."

It wasn't one of the Sardinian's who'd spoken and the men in front of him looked up as two Americans jumped over the side of the pen and came over. Hannibal would have recognized that voice anywhere and it was with a smile of malice that he greeted them.

It was his old night guard; Timothy, who had spoken.

They were both there; Timothy and Jeremy. They looked oddly alike as they stood side by side; the same height and the same pale complexion. Hannibal remained quiet as Jeremy stepped up, placing his hand on Hannibal's chin, holding his face firmly into place. He was tempted to snap at his fingers, but the action seemed childish and he found himself glancing into the man's eyes. Hannibal noticed his foul breath and how Jeremy's palms felt sweaty against his skin. Neither of them blinked. Hannibal remembered how quiet Jeremy had been that night in his cell when they'd forced him to strip, and he knew what would happen now.

He forced his eyes away from Jeremy as he heard the sound of someone approaching. There was a platform overlooking the pen above the gates to the pigs and Hannibal saw someone coming into view as they ascended a ramp. It was with a distinct feeling of not being in control of himself that he smiled. Somehow, the sight of Mason Verger, sitting in his wheelchair, made him very happy. His face had not improved since they last saw each-other and even from this distance, Hannibal could hear his wheezing breath.

Hannibal had never seen the man who stood behind him, but he appeared to be a caregiver as he wheeled Mason into position.

"Doctor Hannibal Lecter." Mason's voice sounded muffled, but he could still be heard clearly. "What a pleasure to see you again. It's been a while."

"Indeed." Hannibal spoke. "You look well."

"Pleasantries Hannibal." Mason made a sound that could only be a laugh. "I think we're beyond that. I have orchestrated a program for tonight. I'm sure you'll be pleased to know that you're our guest of honor."

"I would never have guessed." Hannibal said dryly.

"I'm sure you know how this will end, but I'll take the liberty of telling you anyway." Mason wheezed. "My _loyal _men will show you some special attention first. They're quite eager to get to know you and Jeremy and Timothy have missed you _so_ much. Afterwards, we'll be having dinner, or the pigs will. I had something else in mind; some special pigs that I've been breeding, but there wasn't time to bring them in and they're not quite fully grown yet. We'll have to suffice with an older breed of mine. They're a bit smaller and the process will be a bit slower. I'm sure we'll survive the disappointment. Except you of course…"

Hannibal smiled. "I'll be looking forward to the big finale then."

"You'll be begging for it…"Mason's laugh sounded distinctively like he was being strangled. "Boys, please begin."

If there was one thing Hannibal was certain of, it was that he would _not _beg. It was with a heavy feeling in his stomach that he was slowly realizing where this was going. One thing was to be aware of that he might die, another was to be certain of it, and as Jeremy smiled, Hannibal knew that today was the day that he had been waiting for. He was going to die now and he expected himself to accept it and feel as calm as he always did in the face of death, but he couldn't make himself do so.

Something was nagging him about this. He had accepted death as a part of life from a very young age, and he had long since accepted his own mortality. But still… this wasn't right. Something had happened since he was last in this position, and as Jeremy stepped back, allowing Timothy to begin, Hannibal realized what it was.

He could feel the hard edge of the photograph press against his ankle inside his sock. It was the small picture that Clarice had given him. It wasn't just any picture. It was the picture of his newborn baby. A child that was younger than Mischa had been… and that he wanted to see grow so much older than his dear sister.

Would the pigs take care of the picture? Or would Mason inevitably find it? Hannibal wasn't sure.

The first punch landed heavily on his jaw and Hannibal snapped his head back immediately without a sound, staring into Timothy's eyes. The next punch split his lip and he felt the warm blood flow down his chin, but Hannibal remained calm as his face slowly but surely became a work of art. The Sardinians were cheering Timothy on, but Jeremy remained as still as always. He could hardly hear Mason, but the occasional wheeze told him that the monster was very much still there. As Timothy stepped back for a moment, Hannibal looked up. Cordell wasn't watching, keeping his eyes on his shoes, but that wasn't what caught his attention the most.

As Hannibal's eyes danced over the men and around the room, feeling the dizziness from the strenuous activities begin, he saw something that made his heart jump in his chest and his throat go dry. Someone had crawled into the hayloft. A pair of eyes was looking down at him, and he slowly turned his head away, not wishing to draw any attention to the fact that Clarice Starling had joined their company.

He watched as Timothy turned around with a smile. He came forward slowly, lifting his hand with the blood covered knuckles. His eyes were shining with glee and then they went wide. His lips parted and a sound of surprise escaped them as he fell forward; blood erupting from a small wound in his chest. A shot had been fired and Timothy had gone down.

Chaos ensued.

Someone yelled and another one screamed. Hannibal heard broken sentences in Italian and English as the sound of the gun going off nearly deafened him. The Sardinians were next. All three of them fell in quick succession, leaving trails of blood and brains over the sandy floor in the pen. There was a moment of silence after that where Hannibal watched Jeremy jump over the side of the pen and make his escape. Mason's wheezing had become uncontrollable as it seemed like he was having some kind of fit and Cordell stood completely petrified, watching the carnage in front of him and ignoring his employer's obvious distress.

Hannibal felt his stomach clench painfully as Clarice crawled down the ladder from the hayloft and made her way across the pen till they were only inches apart. She halted and he saw her chest heave as she took a deep breath.

"Be still." She nearly whispered. Hannibal felt her warm breath against his cheek, but the sensation disappeared as she lowered herself to her knees. A knife appeared in her hand and she started cutting his feet loose.

"Clarice…" His voice was hoarse and he realized that he probably sounded as bad as he looked. She glanced up from her work and their eyes met. He licked his lips and blinked, feeling his chest fill up with something akin to butterflies and it nearly brought tears to his eyes. He tried to breathe through his nose, only to remember that it had filled up with blood.

"Don't talk." Was all she said as she freed his feet from the cross. She tried to do it fast, but freeing his hands took longer than he liked. He watched her work and it was only when she was nearly done that something told him to look up. Jeremy was standing on the platform beside Mason and Cordell. He lifted his arm and Hannibal saw the gun with his finger on the trigger. There was no time to warn Clarice and Hannibal ripped his hand loose, catching her as a shot was fired and she fell forward. Not even a second had passed before Hannibal had his hand on the gun from the holster at Clarice's hip and fired at Jeremy, hoping that she'd left the security off. It was with a feeling of relief that he felt the recoil from it and saw Jeremy fall backwards.

And there he stayed.

Clarice was leaning heavily against him and he managed to get her arm around his shoulder. Her eyes were distant and clouded with pain and Hannibal noticed how shallow her breath was. Despite this, she still supported most of her own weight. Blood was seeping out of a wound in her shoulder, turning her grey t-shirt very dark.

"I don't feel too good Hannibal…" She whispered and glanced at him. He could feel the warmth of her body against his and he leaned down, placing a fleeting kiss on her forehead. She tried to focus her eyes on him, but he noticed how she kept looking at a point above his shoulder.

"Stay with me dear." Hardly had the words left his lips before she became heavy in his arms and he nearly stumbled, trying to support her weight.

Clarice had fainted.

**A/N:**

**So what do you think?**

**I don't hope I'll be as long about updating again. It really has been a busy semester, and I hope that this one won't be as demanding (I doubt it).**

**I hope you'll find the time to review and keep me on my feet, so it won't be another five months before I update. **

**As it is; I have every intention of finishing this story. It has become a personal goal and knowing that you guys want to read this, makes me all the more excited about it.**

**I've put a lot of thought into this chapter and it turned out quite differently from what I had planned. Chilton was supposed to die, but I realized that he wouldn't be able to leave the Asylum to be there. Hannibal was supposed to be in much worse shape when Clarice arrived, but how could I shoot Clarice if Hannibal wasn't capable of walking on his own? **

**The cliff hanger is very deliberate on my part, but I really can't go into details about it. I **_**can**_**, however, say that it is much easier to pick up a story from a cliffhanger than from a finished chapter, so I'll have a much easier time updating. **

**I hope you enjoyed this!**

**Firebolt**


	18. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: All the characters in here belong to Thomas Harris.**

**A/N:**

**Quite an important chapter :) **

**Enjoy!**

Chapter Seventeen

Clarice woke with a start.

Her eyes flew open and she tried to make out where she was, but it proved near impossible. Everything was blurry and swimming before her and she quickly closed her eyes again with a whimper. A tremor went through her and she realized that she couldn't breathe. She tried to take a deep breath, but her whole chest felt as if it was on fire and she had to swallow a scream as her hand flew to shoulder.

Suddenly, she remembered. She'd been shot in the shoulder and everything had gone dark. Desperately, she tried to force some oxygen into her lungs. Where was she? A seat belt was keeping her in an upright position and as she became aware of the tremors running through her seat; she realized that she was in a car. Someone had tried to stop the bleeding from her wound by tying a piece of cloth against her shoulder. She whimpered again as she tried to breathe through her nose in a controlled manner.

"You're panicking Clarice."

"Hannibal?"

"Correct."

Relief flooded through her. Hannibal was here. He was safe and he was driving. She'd done it. They'd made it out alive. As air made it into her lungs, a sting of pain went through her and she lurched forward in her seat, trying to hold back a sob. She felt Hannibal's warm hand touch her cheek and then her hair. It was with great effort that she held still and resisted leaning into his touch. Instead, she opened her eyes slowly. It was all very dark and she realized that they were still outside the city and it couldn't have been long since they left Mason's farm. Hannibal was seated behind the wheel of her own, small car; his eyes fixed on the road ahead which was only illuminated by the headlights. He glanced over and saw her gaze. He ran his thumb over the soft skin of her cheek and when she didn't react, he returned his eyes to the road and withdrew his hand, placing both of them on the steering wheel.

"Where are we going?" She asked; her voice shaking with pain. She wasn't sure that she liked this situation. Clarice had intended to bring him back to Baltimore, but she realized that it probably wasn't going to happen now. He was in control.

"I need to find a place where we can park."

"Park…?"

"You're bleeding Clarice. I have to tend to you before we can do anything else."

She nodded slowly, keeping her eyes on the man beside her. It was only after several moments of staring at the amazing blue color of his tie that she realized that Hannibal wasn't wearing his jumpsuit. His face had been cleaned from blood and the cuts to his lips and eyebrows seemed to be scabbing. It occurred to her that she must have been out for a long time.

"What happened?" She asked quietly.

"Mason is dead." Hannibal's lips twitched as if he wanted to smile. "I convinced his physician, Cordell to push him into the pen and I unleashed the pigs on him. There isn't much left for the forensics' team."

Clarice nodded, trying to keep the pain at bay by controlling her breathing. "And the clothes you're wearing?"

"They belong to Cordell. He was quite generous when I asked if he had anything I could borrow. You must remind me to send him a note of gratitude. It was exceedingly nice of him." Hannibal glanced at her and she noticed how his eyes appeared to be more red than brown in the darkness of the car. "He provided me with a few necessities as well. I'll be able to tend to your wound without having to enter a pharmacy or expose us to the authorities."

Clarice closed her eyes. This was bad. This was _so _bad.

"Us…?" She asked, finally daring to look back at him.

His lips parted as he breathed in, taking his time to answer. "I'm not going back Clarice and I want you to come with me. I want the both of you to come with me; you and Alexandria."

She didn't say anything as her eyes fell shut again. The pain was becoming unbearable and she leaned her forehead against the cold window, trying to stop herself from shaking.

"I have to take you in." She gasped as she moved her shoulder unintentionally. "I'm an agent of the FBI, Hannibal. I have a child and I have a life. I can't just run away with you. We'll get caught and who will look after Alex then? I have to take you in."

Hannibal blinked and Clarice saw his thumb move over the steering wheel as if he was caressing it. She could hear how his breath slipped past his lips and she realized that his nose had swelled too much for him to breathe properly.

"It's my daughter too." He said quietly, finally glancing at her through the darkness. Clarice lowered her eyes. A heavy feeling in her stomach made her wrap her arms around herself. Hannibal saw this. "Are you cold?"

"I'm in pain Hannibal and I'm losing blood."

"I have to stop the bleeding Clarice. It can't wait. We'll stop here."

Hannibal slowed down, parking the car on the side of the road. Confused, Clarice glanced up and watched him exit the vehicle and walk around to her side. He opened the door and as he unfastened her seatbelt, she spoke.

"What if someone comes by?"

"I will take care of it."

Clarice remained quiet as he leaned in, letting her place her arms around his neck, so he could lift her up. His body was flush against hers as they stood on the side of the road in the middle of the night. For a split second, they stood still. She was completely helpless in his arms and she couldn't help but shiver against him, as she realized how cold it was. Hannibal took a step forward and the moment was over. He placed her on the backseats where she could lie down and he crawled inside with her. The space was extremely cramped, but Hannibal kneeled graciously on the floor and opened a bag that she'd never seen before.

"I have nothing to put you under with."

She bit her lip at his words and saw him look up from the bag, catching her worried eyes.

"I'll be quick."

His words didn't reassure her and she saw him prepare needle and thread, making her look away as she realized that he was going to stitch her up without anything to numb the pain.

"I have pain killers, but they won't take effect till the procedure is over. I'd still like you to take some. Can you do that for me, Clarice?"

She nodded rapidly and accepted the pills and a bottle of water from him. As she swallowed them, she felt Hannibal's hands on her body as he removed the improvised bandage from her shoulder. She nearly choked on the water as she was immersed in a fresh wave of pain. Hannibal took the water bottle from her and she felt the cold as he removed her t-shirt. He discarded it on the floor along with the bandages and she knew that she'd never see it again. She watched as he poured water over her shoulder, cleaning away the dried blood.

Hannibal helped her into a seated position and he cleaned her back as well. "The bullet went clean through. I don't have to dig it out of your shoulder. This won't be as complicated as I anticipated."

"It won't?"

Hannibal lowered her down again and brushed the hair out of her face. "It won't."

Clarice smiled at his words and saw him look through the bag again. He withdrew a bottle filled with a transparent liquid. "What is it?"

"Disinfectant."

All blood left her face at his words and her fingers dug into the upholstery of the seats. Hannibal saw her reaction and placed a hand on her other shoulder, making it impossible for her to move.

"This might sting a bit…"

As Hannibal tipped the bottle, letting the disinfectant splash over her wounded shoulder, Clarice barely managed to make a sound as fire erupted in every nerve of her body. She hissed and sobbed, until stars appeared before her eyes. And then, for the second time that night:

Clarice fainted.

* * *

Hannibal took off the jacket that Cordell had given him and wrapped Clarice in it.

Stitching her up had become very easy after she'd fainted, and he'd worked rapidly, hoping that she wouldn't wake up. It seemed that she'd slipped into a deep but restless slumber as she moved underneath the jacket. Hannibal watched how her brow furrowed and how the moonlight from outside created shadows across her skin. He averted his eyes as he felt his heart swell at the sight of his savior and fastened the seat belt around her, hoping that it would prevent her from rolling down from the seats in her sleep.

The drive towards Clarice's home took longer than he would have liked. He was forced to avoid any major roads, where they might meet the ambulances and police, who would soon become aware of the situation with Mason Verger.

Cordell had agreed to wait at least an hour before he called anyone. Hannibal had tied him to a radiator, which wasn't too far from a phone. All Cordell had to do, was to claim that it had taken him an hour or two to get free and use the phone, despite the fact that Hannibal had hardly bothered to do a proper knot. It also meant that the FBI would soon become aware of Clarice's involvement in the affair and that they'd be sure to knock on her door before long.

Hannibal refused to feel the time-pressure.

He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel as he recited Clarice's address in his head, which he had memorized after his lawyer had sent the cradle to her. The plan was simple; go in, grab the baby and get out. He had a place in mind, which he'd bought under a false identity while he was still a free man. It was very remote and they'd be able to stay low while they prepared to leave the country. Hannibal glanced back at Clarice. She looked pale and he was certain that she wouldn't try to argue with him until she got better. She might not agree with his plans for them yet, but he'd make her come around. Then again… She was incredibly stubborn and even though it was one of the things he liked about her, it might prove to be an obstacle.

He just wanted this so badly.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, but which was probably just a matter of minutes; Hannibal stopped the car in front of Clarice's house. It was still dark outside and his inner clock told him that it was around three in the morning. He took one last look at a sleeping Clarice and exited the vehicle.

As he halted in front of the front door, he felt his heart jump in his chest. He closed his eyes briefly. This was it… Hannibal had imagined this so many times, but never had he thought that he would actually get a chance to see his daughter. Often, he'd thought of Alex visiting him when she got older; when she knew who he was, what he'd done and what he was to her. The thought of seeing his daughter through the glass and not being able to touch her or hold her had sent a bitter taste to his mouth, but as it was all about to change; everything was about to turn out so differently. He felt his stomach fill up with butterflies as he became nervous. What if she cried? What if she cried and he couldn't make her stop? She might not like him. After all, she'd never met him before and probably wasn't used to the deep voice of a male.

He found Clarice's keys in his pocket. It was okay and it would turn out just fine. Hannibal swallowed hard as he opened the door and stepped inside quietly. Everything would turn out just fine…

It was very dark inside and he knew that Clarice lived with another FBI agent. Said agent might have a gun in her nightstand, and he wasn't about to take any chances. Enough people had been shot tonight already. Normally, he'd deal with this kind of situation in a more murderous fashion, but he was under the impression that Clarice wouldn't appreciate it, if he prevented Miss Ardelia Mapp from standing in his way by being less than chivalrous.

It just wouldn't do.

Therefore, he found himself withdrawing Clarice's handcuffs from his back-pocket and making his way past the kitchen into the hallway lined with four doors. The first one concealed a working space that could only belong to Miss Mapp, as he saw the pictures on the shelf. He stepped out, trying his luck again. The next door swung open quietly, making his heart jump as he saw what was inside. Hannibal took a step forward and tried to inhale through his swollen nose. It smelled like baby powder and Clarice's perfume. It was Alexandria's room… Something confused him though. It was filled with boxes containing diapers and he saw a changing table in the corner, but nowhere did he see the cradle. There were toys and teddy-bears that a two month old child couldn't even grab onto yet and a big space in the middle had been cleared.

He backed out of the room and glanced at the two last doors. With an afterthought, he took off his tie and went through the door right in front of him.

Things went fast after that.

He immediately spotted the shape in the bed, registering from the corner of his eye that the cradle had been brought into this room. Hannibal rushed forward, snapping one handcuff around Miss Mapp's wrist, bringing it up to the headboard where he interweaved it with the bars, closing the remaining cuff to her other wrist. As he brought forth the tie, Miss Mapp was awake, staring into his eyes and yet to make a sound. He forced the tie between her teeth. It was in that exact moment that she kicked out and tried to scream. He found himself on top of her, holding her down with his entire weight as he tied the tie tightly around her head, preventing her from uttering a sound. She struggled against him, but he kept his weight on her legs. He could hear the air going in and out through her nose and it became faster and faster. Somewhere in the house, a clock chimed as it became half past three.

Hannibal knew that he didn't have time for this and that the struggle could wake the baby, which would complicate things. He found himself shushing, trying to calm her down.

"Shhh… Miss Mapp."

Her chest heaved in panic.

"Shhh… We'll wake the baby. Shhh…" He kept doing it; shushing and whispering until she finally became still. Her eyes were wide as she watched him with fear. "Now, Miss Mapp. I'm going to let go of you, and you'll behave. I'm just here to bring the baby to Clarice and then I'll be gone. There's no need for anyone to get hurt."

Miss Mapp closed her eyes as a tremor went through her body. Hannibal spoke again. "Can you do that for me, Miss Mapp? Clarice would be terribly upset if I was forced to _make _you cooperate. Now, if you're going to be a good girl, will you nod for me? Can you nod?"

She opened her eyes and nodded.

"Good girl." He winked at her and lifted himself off her slowly. He hovered above her for a moment and as he became certain that she wouldn't kick him; he sat down on the bed beside her. They stared at each other for a moment and Hannibal saw the suspicion and the fear in her eyes. When he didn't see anything that told him that she might start to struggle again, he turned his head and stared at the cradle.

It was a strange sensation.

The moonlight streamed in through the window, making the bars on the cradle cast shadows across his chest and the wall behind him. The white, silk band that was interwoven between the bars prevented him from seeing what was inside. All he had to do was stand up and he'd see the baby… Hannibal felt his heart beat calmly in his chest as he heard the ticking from a clock nearby. _Just stand up_…

As he pushed himself off the bed and his eyes landed on the small form in the cradle; his heart went into overdrive. He could feel the blood rush through his ears and his stomach clench painfully. She was there. His baby was there. Her hair was much darker and thicker than it had been in the picture and her face had become rounder and softer. She had her arms above her head, her tiny fists clenched tightly. A small blanket had been placed on top of her and he saw it move up and down as she breathed in and out.

He reached down and picked her up. As he held her out before himself, he could only think about how small and fragile she was. She nodded and blinked as she felt her sleep being interrupted. Hannibal drew her close to his chest, placing her in the crook of his arm. She was so warm…

Hannibal felt his breath catch in his throat and he found himself sitting down on the bed. The tiny being had opened her eyes, staring up at him with distrust. She closed her eyes again and whimpered.

"Shhh…" He said. "It's okay."

He felt his heart swell up as she blinked again, opening her eyes and revealing the deep blue color. She swung her arms and kicked out with her feet, making Hannibal smile as she moved against him. A low chuckle escaped him and he felt his eyes start to prickle. This was his child. She even looked like him. He had a daughter. He was actually holding his daughter…

It was with a gasp of surprise that he wiped away the tear that was making its way down his cheek. He looked at the moist on his hands and turned his head, catching the curious gaze of Miss Ardelia Mapp. She blinked as she saw him looking and Hannibal averted her eyes, opting to watch his baby instead. He lifted his hand and caught one of her flailing hands. She opened her fist and closed her tiny fingers around his.

He felt another tear make its way down his cheek and then another. It wasn't long before he was forced to close his eyes as it became too much. He couldn't even dry them away as Alexandria held onto his free hand. Miss Mapp was watching with a furrowed brow, but what he said next made her eyes go wide.

"She's my daughter." His voice was barely more than a whisper. For some reason, he felt like he should tell Miss Mapp about this. As if Clarice would have liked him to tell her in her stead. "It's my baby…"

Miss Mapp looked upset as he glanced up at her with his tearstained face. "She didn't tell you?"

She shook her head.

"I'm going to take them with me…" He said as he returned his gaze to Alexandria, who looked very comfortable in his arms. "Don't come looking for us."

Miss Mapp kicked out behind him, trying to show him that she did not agree with this. He saw her shake her head vigorously.

"I do apologize, Miss Mapp. I realize that this must cause you much distress, but you must realize that Clarice cannot remain here with the baby." He took a deep breath. "No one will accept my child and it will not remain a secret for long. Clarice saved my life today in a fashion that will surely bring about an investigation to which the nature of our relationship will become a central question."

He felt Alexandria release her grip around his finger and he rose from his seat, placing her in the cradle again. "I do apologize, Miss Mapp."

Hannibal looked firmly at the woman cuffed to the bed and then proceeded to leave the room. As he wiped the tears away from his cheeks, he entered Clarice's bedroom, which he had yet to explore. It didn't take him long to pack. He filled up a suitcase with clothes and brought a second one into the nursery where he filled it up with whatever necessities they'd need for the baby. It took him longer to do the second suitcase as he wasn't entirely sure what to bring, but eventually he finished up and dragged them through the house and managed to get them into the trunk of the car. Clarice was still sleeping on the backseat and he felt his lips twitch into a smile. She looked so calm.

Soundlessly, he entered the house again and found the baby's car seat by the door. He brought it with him down the hall and entered Ardelia Mapp's room. She was still wide awake and Hannibal nodded politely as their eyes met. Alexandria was fast asleep again and Hannibal felt a sting of guilt as he lifted her up, disrupting her sleep for the second time that night. The child whimpered but became quiet as he placed her in the car seat and fastened the belt. He carried it with him and only stopped for a moment at the bedroom door to look down at the woman in the bed.

"Good bye Miss Mapp." He said and turned his back to her, leaving the room.

As he came outside, he halted and glanced up at the sky. The moon was clear and the stars were visible. Hannibal took a deep breath and smiled. This was it. With a bit of luck; he'd be free.

He glanced at the sleeping child in the car seat and saw her rosy cheeks in the winter cold. He had his daughter. All he needed to do now was to win the mother as well.

It was therefore with a smile that he drove off into the night.

**A/N:**

**So, what do you think?**

**I've been looking forward to writing this chapter and now it's finally here. Don't worry, it's not over yet ;)**

**To be continued!**

**And do please review, it makes me so happy!**

**Firebolt**


	19. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: All the characters in here belong to Thomas Harris.**

Chapter Eighteen

The first thing she felt was the warmth.

Clarice turned her head and felt her cheek press against the cool side of the pillow. She was lying on something soft that could only be a bed and her eyelids fluttered as she opened her eyes. The room was dark, but she noticed light streaming in through the cracks of the curtains and her sight quickly adjusted, letting her make out the shapes in the room. It wasn't a very big room, but there was still space enough for the double bed she was in and the dresser by the wall. She tried to sit up, but fell back onto the bed with a grunt as pain shot through her shoulder. She tried to call out, but she started coughing instead as her throat felt dry and itchy.

The sound of someone approaching could be heard and she wasn't surprised when the door swung open and she was greeted by the calm smile of Dr. Hannibal Lecter. He had a dishtowel over his shoulder and the sleeves of his white shirt were rolled up to his elbows. He wasn't wearing a belt, making his black pants hang low on his hips and she noticed how dirty his clothes were, realizing that he must have been busy cleaning while she'd been out. His face looked better, as the swelling was going down, but the cuts and bruises were yet to heal properly and as his eyes crinkled into a smile, she saw a drop of blood make its way down the side of his face from his split eyebrow. He wiped it away, glancing at the smeared out blood on his hand.

"Where are we?" Her voice was hoarse and Hannibal frowned as his eyes met hers.

"A cottage of mine." He came closer and seated himself on the edge of the bed. Clarice froze as he reached out, placing his palm against her forehead. He held it there for a moment before nodding with satisfaction. "How do you feel?"

"Thirsty…."

Hannibal let his hands slide down the side of her face and cupped her chin. Clarice could feel her stomach clench with anticipation as he smiled kindly. His touch nearly made her shiver and guilt formed at her own reaction. She wasn't supposed to feel like this.

"I'll get you some water." He only left her for a second, coming back with a glass filled with crystal clear liquid. She drank it greedily and he took the glass back as she finished. He held it in his hands as he sat on the bed with his eyes on the wall. Clarice watched him silently and slowly felt her eyelids become heavy. Hannibal glanced down at her as she yawned and a light smile graced his lips.

"You should try to sleep some more."

No sooner had he said this than a sound pierced the air. Clarice felt her mouth fall open as her heart leapt in her chest and Hannibal froze.

"_Alex…"_ She tried to sit up as she identified the noise as the sound of her crying child. Hannibal placed the glass on the nightstand and turned around fast, forcing her down on the bed with his hands on her shoulders, trying not to touch her wound. She flinched in pain despite his efforts and her heart started pounding as adrenalin coursed through her system. "Let go of me!"

"Shh… no, Clarice." Hannibal eyes were hard as he held her down. "I'll get her. Clarice… don't worry. I'll get her."

"Don't you touch her!" She screamed the words in his face, making his mouth form a thin line.

"You're in no position to take care of her. Should I just let her cry?" His words were hard and Clarice felt her throat tighten with shame. She stilled, watching him with weary eyes. He let go of her slowly and left the room. Alex was here… Oh fuck… What had he done? An image of Ardelia lying dead on her bedroom floor flashed before her eyes. Oh shit. Her heart was pounding and she closed her eyes briefly. He'd gone to her house and taken Alex… What worried her the most, though, was that she wasn't entirely sure where this was going. She could hear no sounds outside so the cottage had to be remote. What were his plans? What had gone through his head when he decided to kidnap them? Clarice wasn't sure she'd like the answer.

The door was pushed open as Hannibal backed into the room. Alex's cries had subsided to hiccups and Clarice saw her small fists grab at thin air as she rested in Hannibal's arms. He was smiling down at the child and caught one of her hands, letting her hold onto his finger. His eyes met hers as he sat down beside her on the bed.

"She's beautiful…" His remark caught her off guard and Clarice could only nod in agreement. "And she's very calm."

"Only when she gets her sleep." Clarice reached out and Hannibal reluctantly let go of the child, shifting her into Clarice's arms. The child's eyes darted around the room until they focused on Clarice. She placed a hand on Alex's small chest and felt her heart beat strongly. It was with relief that she could conclude that nothing had happened to her baby. "What did you do to Ardelia?"

"I didn't _kill _Miss Mapp if that's what you're afraid of." His tone was earnest. "I merely cuffed her to the bed. I know she's dear to you."

She nodded, keeping her eyes on Alex who was watching her every move. She felt Hannibal lean closer; the heat radiating from his body through his shirt.

"I was afraid she wouldn't like me."

Clarice looked back up at Hannibal and saw his calm features. She wasn't fooled by them though as she saw the small fold between his eyes, giving away a frown.

"She isn't too fussy." Clarice mumbled. "She likes Crawford too…"

"You really know how to make me feel special Clarice…"

"Sorry…" She felt Alex squirm against her. "When did you last feed her?"

"A few hours ago. When we arrived here."

Clarice looked up at his words. How could it have passed her attention? His eyes were bloodshot and would have had dark circles underneath them if it wasn't for the bruises. He looked beyond tired.

"When did you last sleep?"

"You don't have to worry about me." His hand found hers as a small smile formed on his lips. Alex squirmed again, crying out and his eyes fell to the child in her arms. Clarice looked down as well and as she decided to feed the baby, she realized that she was wearing a shirt that could only belong to Hannibal. She felt a small blush creep into her cheeks as it dawned on her that he had redressed her completely. She started unbuttoning it, only to feel Hannibal's hand stopping her. "What are you doing?"

"She's hungry…"

"You can't feed her." Hannibal said quietly. "You're on some very strong painkillers and I'm not sure how Alexandria will react to them. I'm not equipped to deal with any complications."

"Are you saying that I can't feed my child?" Clarice raised an eyebrow. "She's hungry Hannibal…."

"I made some formula before you woke up." Hannibal replied calmly, holding out his arms. "Let me take care of it."

Reluctantly, Clarice gave Alex back to him, feeling her heart grow heavy as he held the small being close to his chest and rose from the bed. She felt the corner of her mouth drop as soon as he was out of sight. This was bad, this was _so _bad. There was nothing she could do as long as Alex was near and she was so weak. She had no idea where she was and she had nothing to defend herself with. There was no way out… What would happen when he grew tired of them? It was all very exciting and new to see Alex and play daddy for a while, but what would happen when the novelty wore off? The thought frightened her, but then a small part of her realized that he wasn't the Hannibal Lecter she'd first read about in the case file. This was a completely different man. The monster they'd painted him to be didn't exist unless he wanted it to. He wouldn't hurt Alex… but if she tried anything; he'd hurt her.

Clarice knew that she couldn't stay here forever. She knew that they'd one day be found and that it would look better on her career if she tried to escape now and not later. But if she tried to take Alex with her… Hannibal wouldn't react well to that and she was far, far too weak if it came to a fight.

She looked up as she heard the door open again and saw Hannibal come in with Alex in his arms, holding a bottle of formula to her lips. He sat down on the edge of the bed where Clarice could watch him feed her. The small child was sucking hungrily with closed eyes and Hannibal was smiling tiredly. Clarice felt her stomach clench in shame and guilt. He looked so happy… How could she take this from him?

* * *

Hannibal could see it in her eyes. The apprehension and fright shone from them like beacons in the dark. He held his daughter close as he watched her eat and felt the fatigue hit him for the umpteenth time that day. There was no time for him to sleep yet and as he felt Clarice's scrutinizing eyes on his neck, he wasn't sure if he'd ever wake up again if he dozed off. She didn't trust him. It was only natural of course, but he'd hoped that he'd come further in gaining her trust while in the Asylum. Hannibal knew that she'd felt safe with him behind bars and that this situation had never played into their relationship before. He had to gain her trust all over again…

"How long are we staying here?" Her voice was controlled, giving away nothing.

"For as long as we can." Hannibal spoke. "We can't pass the borders till things cool down and it might be a few months. Besides, we're in no state to travel and we have an infant to take care of."

Clarice became quiet at his words and he felt the heavy silence press against his entire being. He could feel the hunger gnaw in his stomach and he knew that Clarice had to be feeling the same thing. There was no food in the cottage. He'd looked through all the cupboards and had yet to find anything edible. As he cleaned the house, he slowly realized that it wouldn't be long before they'd run out of diapers and formula too and by the time he heard Clarice wake up, he'd made a hard decision. Despite his entire body protesting against more activities, he had to go shopping and make dinner for both him and Clarice.

Clarice didn't take well to the news though.

"What if you get caught while you're out? Recognized?" She asked in a hard tone. "I have no idea where I am and I'm in no condition to take care of Alex, much less myself. If anything happens while you're gone, I'm screwed."

Hannibal frowned at her choice of words. "I won't get caught and if I do; I'll be sure to tell them were to find you. I can't have you starve while I feast on prison food, can we now? As for Alexandria, I'll take her with me. They'll be looking for all three of us, not a father and his child."

"You're taking Alex…?" Clarice's eyes had gone wide.

He nodded slowly, weighing his words. "Naturally. If she wakes up while I'm out, you'll feel inclined to go to her. It will do more damage than good in your weakened state."

Clarice bit her lip. He saw the moist forming in the corners' of her eyes and her chest heave as she tried to control her breathing. He knew that he was supposed to feel bad about this. Taking a child from its mother was a cruel thing, but she was genuinely not capable of looking after Alexandria and he couldn't leave them alone together. Another part of him knew that it was purely for selfish reasons that he brought her with him. Despite Clarice's weakened state, he couldn't help but imagine coming back to the cabin and finding it empty. The thought made his stomach grow heavy.

"I'll be back in an hour." He said, trying to reassure her.

She just nodded. Her mouth was a thin line and he knew that she was fighting the tears, trying to keep them in control. She was frightened. He could only imagine what was going through her head, but he was certain that it involved him stealing her child and never coming back. Clarice turned her eyes to the child in his arms and he looked down as well. Alexandria was completely oblivious to the situation as she looked up at them with her innocent, blue eyes. She wasn't eating as fast as she'd done moments ago and she looked content to just suckle at the bottle.

With the child in his arms, Hannibal rose from the bed and looked down at Clarice. There was no possible way for him to reassure her. As long as she didn't trust him, they were going to have a hard time. The only thing he could do was to be as quick about this trip as possible. He had to gain her trust when it came to taking care of their child.

He left her there; lying on the bed with a thousand thoughts running through her mind.

* * *

Clarice watched as Hannibal left the room, closing the door behind him. _He took her._ He'd taken Alex and there had been nothing she could do about it. The thought of him not returning made bile rise in her throat and she swallowed hard. She wouldn't cry.

_She wouldn't cry._

Angrily, she wiped away the tears in the corners' of her eyes. She heard another door in the house open and close and after a few seconds, she heard the sound of her own car being started. Clarice waited patiently.

As soon as she couldn't hear the car anymore, she tore the bedcovers off herself. The cool air hit her bare legs and the sudden movement made her grunt in pain. She closed her eyes, clenched her jaw and forced herself into a seated position. Whatever painkillers Hannibal had given seemed to have no effect as she found herself sitting up, panting like she'd just run a marathon and trying not to scream out in pain. Her shoulder felt as if it was on fire, but she ignored it as she swung her legs over the side of the bed and opened her eyes.

The room was swimming and dancing, going in circles before her. Clarice took a few moments to compose herself. As things calmed down and stopped moving, she tried to stand up. It was a long and tiresome process. She had nothing to hold onto and the floor seemed to be alive every time she tried to hold her balance. Finally though, she rose from the bed and stood still, holding her head high and looking around the room. A line of thoughts had slowly formed in the back of her mind but it hadn't become clear before she took her first step towards the bedroom door.

She needed to find her gun.

Somehow, her pain riddled mind had arrived at that conclusion. Hannibal had kidnapped them. They were going to get caught sooner or later and if she wanted to keep her child and not end up in jail, she had to make a move against him. He had to see reason, but he was far too caught up in his happy little fantasy to see it on his own. There was no point in telling him these things. She had to force him to surrender.

Her gun would make this so much easier.

All she needed to do was to find it and hide it in another place. When the time was right and Alex wasn't in his arms; she'd act.

The cabin wasn't very big. She realized that it consisted mainly of two rooms. There was the bedroom that she'd woken up in and a living room that was combined with a small kitchen. There was a pantry that wasn't much bigger than a closet and a bathroom where the toilet was hardly more than a bucket that had to be emptied outside. How Hannibal expected them to stay here for months was a mystery to her.

She moved around slowly, looking under every piece of furniture and in every drawer. She was constantly aware of the clock on the wall and the hour growing smaller and smaller. Clarice noticed a wooden box on the floor by the couch where several blankets covered the splintery sides and bottom, making it suitable for an infant to sleep in. She turned her eyes away from the makeshift crib as she felt her heart fill up with emotion as she imagined Hannibal making it.

By the end of the hour, Clarice was close to giving up. Her shoulder was aching and the frustration from the situation wasn't making things better. She moved forward slowly and sat down on the couch staring at the wall in front of her. Every floorboard in the cabin had been checked and none of them were loose. There weren't any places left to look. She'd even checked the chimney which had forced her to wash her hands thrice. As she sat there, her eyes returned to the hearth. Hannibal had let it burn out before he left and the winter chill was slowly creeping back into the room. There were still embers, but that wasn't what caught her attention. The brick wall inside the fireplace was as smudged in soot as the firewood itself, except for one stone. As she rose and walked closer, she realized that it could only be seen on a distance, but now that she'd noticed; the fingerprints in the soot were very obvious.

The stone was loose and it came out easily. There was a small space behind it and it was with a smile that she stuck her hand in there and felt the cold metal of her gun.

All she had to do now was to wait for the right moment.

**A/N:**

**This is a short chapter and it took me a while to write. It feels a bit off to me, but it might just be because their situation has been completely reversed; making Clarice the weak one. **

**I hope you liked it and as you can see, there are still a few chapters left.**

**Till next time!**

**Firebolt**


	20. Chapter 19 and Epilogue

**Disclaimer: All the characters in here belong to Thomas Harris.**

**A/N: I just want to take a moment to thank you all for the reviews. I really appreciate them! Reaching 125 is really awesome :D **

**I'm looking forward to the TV-series and I expect we'll see a bunch of new people joining us in here soon… and shipping Will/Hannibal. Well, I for one might read some of it if it's well written and believable, but I love Clarice and hope people will continue to write about her and Hannibal.**

**I regret to tell you that this is the last chapter. Our story has come to an end. Thanks for following it this far.**

**Lean back and enjoy!**

Chapter Nineteen

It was the smell that set his mind into motion.

Hannibal closed the door behind him with his foot as he carried in several bags of groceries and supplies. Alexandria was sleeping contently in her car seat which he'd already brought into the house and placed on the kitchen counter. He put the bags beside her and started unloading the contents. He sniffed the air. Yes, something was most definitely not right. There was water in the sink, making it look recently used and the air was heavy with the scent of Clarice. Had she been up? It appeared so…

The generator belonging to the cabin had been one of Hannibal's main priorities when they arrived. Having electricity was vital and he was grateful for it as he opened the fridge and started filling it up. The trip to the town nearby had gone smoothly and there was no reason to suspect that anyone had recognized him. Of course, a few had been puzzled by his presence, but that was to be expected from a small town like that. As long as no one connected the dots and saw past his unshaved face and beaten-up exterior. Who was he kidding? With the way his faced looked at the moment, he was bound to be remembered by the few people who had looked him in the eye. Hopefully, none of them saw past the bruises and the infant in his arms. He'd hid Alexandria's hair with a hat, knowing that pictures of her were probably circulating on the news at the moment.

As he put the last box of formula on the shelf in the pantry, Hannibal halted. It was one of the few places in the cabin that he had yet to clean properly and the thick layer of dust on the shelf had most certainly been disrupted. What had Clarice been doing in the pantry? Was she hungry? He stepped out and closed the door to the pantry behind him. He should see how she was doing.

With a quick glance, he ensured that Alexandria was still fast asleep in the car seat on the kitchen counter and he proceeded forward to the only bedroom in the cottage.

He opened the door slowly.

Clarice was lying silently in the bed. The covers were drawn up under her chin and as she heard him enter, she opened her eyes.

They were still for a moment, watching each other and trying to read their faces. Hannibal noticed her clenched jaw and how she swallowed every few seconds. She was nervous. Her hands moved underneath the covers and as she reached up and brushed the hair out of her face, he saw her nails. They were clean; scrubbed clean. When he last saw her, her hands had been dirty and her nails had needed a good cleaning. Why had she done that now? He breathed in and the smell hit him like a train in full speed.

Ashes and soot.

She'd been near the fireplace.

Hannibal smiled lightly and stepped further into the room. His heart was calm and his hands were still. She had the gun.

"Where's Alex?" She asked as the first thing. "I want to see her."

He nodded. "As you wish."

Every single iota of his being was screaming for him to do something; confront her, attack her and question her. Instead her turned around and did as he was bid. He didn't relax his shoulders till he was out of sight and could pick up the car seat from the counter. With Alexandria held close to his chest, he went forward and walked back into the bedroom again. Clarice had moved to an upright position and was watching him wearily. She reached out her good arm and accepted the car seat into her lap. The gun was nowhere in sight.

Hannibal could feel his head start to throb as he watched Clarice inspect her child as if she was afraid he'd done her any harm. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been this tired and his eyes longed for just a moment's rest, but he knew that he'd fall asleep if he did just that. Instead, he found himself informing the woman in his bed that he would prepare dinner. He only received a small nod in return.

He left the room again and glanced at the fireplace. Maybe she just wanted to know where the gun was. Maybe she had left it where she found it… But she hadn't. The space behind the loose stone was empty and Hannibal's face remained emotionless as he stood up and returned to the kitchen. Why had she done this? All he could do now was wait and see what would happen.

It didn't take him long to make the least impressive meal in his entire life. The pasta seemed lifeless as he poured the tasteless pasta sauce on top of it and prayed that he'd never have to eat another pre-prepared thing in his life. This didn't exactly make for the best "first meal as a free man".

Clarice, though, seemed grateful as he brought the two plates into the bedroom. He seated himself beside her and watched as she started eating; apparently forgetting that she was mistrustful of him. Poisoning was evidently not a concern of hers. Hannibal followed suit and felt the pain in his head subside with every bite. It didn't matter that this could hardly be called food in his book since his body seemed to have other thoughts after not having received any nutrition in over 24 hours.

Gradually, as his mind cleared from the fatigue, he started to notice the silence between himself and his guest. She kept her eyes on her plate, which was nearly empty, and he decided to lighten the mood, knowing that she was contemplating shooting him at the moment. It was therefore with a smile of amusement that he decided to tell her what had happened at the grocery store.

"An old lady asked me about Alexandria at the store." He saw Clarice glance up with a hint of curiosity and it encouraged him to go on. "She asked me if it was my first grandchild…"

Clarice's lips parted slightly in surprise and he saw red appear on her cheeks as the embarrassment of the situation hit her. Hannibal just smiled.

"I told her that it was my first child." He saw her bite her lip. "I've never been more proud."

He returned his attention to his food as she didn't say anything. She was watching him as he cleaned his plate. It was then that he noticed the awkward position Alexandria seemed to be resting in. "She should be sleeping in her crib."

Hannibal took the plate from Clarice and was surprised when she handed him the car seat as well.

"You should put her to sleep." She mumbled in agreement.

"I will."

* * *

Clarice watched him as he left the room with the plates and Alex. This was it. This was her moment.

Silently, she slipped out from under the covers and let her bare feet find the cold, wooden floor without giving her away. She kneeled beside the nightstand and found the gun lodged behind it. She had refrained from hiding it under her pillow or the mattress, fearing that it might go off by accident. The metal was cold against her palm and she removed the security swiftly.

The light outside was dimming, but her tired eyes appreciated the creeping darkness. She rose from the floor and moved towards the door, knowing that she had to be quick. He was bound to hear her coming. Maybe, he already suspected her motives. No… he would have confronted her.

She held the gun out in front of her and pushed the door open, stepping into the room. Hannibal had his back to her, kneeling in front of the wooden box that had been made into a makeshift crib. His shoulders were relaxed and he had his hands inside the box. Clarice went forward slowly, aiming at his spine.

Then she halted.

Hannibal had spoken. His voice was low and a hint of a metallic rasp could be heard.

"Daddy loves you."

Her whole body started shaking and her throat closed in, making her gasp as tears sprung to her eyes. Hannibal turned his head, looking over his shoulder.

"Are you going to shoot me, Clarice?"

She felt her heart start to race against her chest and her palms grow sweaty. Hannibal turned around slowly, still kneeling on the floor. His eyes were on hers.

As tears started streaming down her cheeks, she closed her eyes and shook her head. No, she wouldn't shoot him. She heard his footsteps as he came closer and felt his arms around her as his hands found hers. The gun slipped out of her grip and into his. She blinked, opening her eyes and stared into his calm face. He leaned down, resting his forehead against hers and he let the gun slide out of his hand and fall to the couch. He reached out, cupping her face and holding her still as he closed the gap between them and kissed her softly on the lips.

Clarice felt her entire world fall apart as her stomach filled up with live butterflies. Tears kept coming as he kissed her and her mind raced with thoughts as memories flashed before her eyes. She remembered their first conversations and the first time she saw him smile. She remembered his gratitude and his pain, his face when he first saw her pregnant and his soft features whenever he held Alex close. How could she even contemplate leaving him? How could she want this man behind bars again? How could she even _think _about shooting him?

She shook against his frame and he stopped kissing her, drawing her into his arms and holding her close.

"I'm sorry…" She whispered against his shoulder. "I'm sorry for _everything._"

"I know." He said quietly, letting his lips flutter against her forehead in a feathery kiss. "I know."

"What are we going to do now?" She asked, trying to hold back the tears as she heard her voice quiver.

"Live." He said and she looked up only to see his lips curl into a smile. "Inevitably, the public will forget us and we will be able to live and enjoy life as we've never done before."

Clarice nodded, feeling the fabric of his shirt against her cheek. "I just want Alex to be happy. I want her to know you and love you, like I do."

"Do you?" He asked, catching her curious eye. "Do you love me?"

"Yes."

Hannibal's lips parted lightly and Clarice felt a small laugh rumble through his chest as his face split into a smile. His dark eyes flashed red as he moved them over her face and finally rested on her lips, where he leaned in and kissed her again. She felt her heart jump uncomfortably in her chest as she awaited his respond. Finally, he spoke: "And I love you."

He kissed her again and let his lips wander over her cheeks and forehead and every inch of skin on her face. "I love you, I love you, I love you."

Clarice bit her lip as she felt her cheeks flush red at his show of affection. She felt his fingers brush the hair out of her face and rest on her cheek.

"You've been very kind to me Clarice." He said in a low voice. "Why shouldn't I love you?"

She didn't answer as she rested her head against his shoulder. Several reasons for him to hate her ran through her head, but she knew that he was aware of every single one of them and obviously did not care. Clarice found herself smiling and leaning away from him, wiping the tears from her face and sniffling in embarrassment.

"And I love Alexandria…"

* * *

Hannibal spoke the words and felt Clarice's eyes search for the crib on the floor. Their daughter was sleeping peacefully with her tiny fingers curled around the blanket that covered her small frame. Her closed eyes and her calm breathing made his entire body feel heavy and he let go of Clarice.

"We should go to bed."

She looked up at him, studying his face. A blush crept into her cheeks and Hannibal realized that she'd misunderstood him. He watched as the tip of her tongue went over her lips, making them glisten with moist. His breath caught in his throat as he imagined what went through her mind. Reaching out and touching her was exceedingly tempting, but he forced himself to show the decency of looking away with embarrassment as the silence between them stretched on.

"I apologize." He said. "I did not mean to imply that we should sleep together. I'll take the couch."

"You don't have to…"

"Yes I do dearest Clarice." He smiled and placed his hands on her shoulders with affection. "You're hurt and in pain. I do not wish to hurt you further in my sleep by accident. Besides, as your doctor; I can't allow you to partake in such activities when you've just given birth."

She nodded and stood on the tip of her toes, leaning closer and placing a light kiss on his unshaved cheek. He watched as she kneeled beside the wooden box and touched Alexandria's hair softly before she turned around and walked into the bedroom, closing the door behind her. Hannibal took a deep breath, feeling the fatigue settle on his body like a heavy blanket. He leaned down over the crib and stroke Alexandria's cheek, watching as her chest moved up and down underneath the blanket. With a sigh, he rose from the floor and lied down on the couch, covering himself with the thinnest blanket in the cabin. The room was warm from the fire and he closed his eyes, feeling his mind going to rest immediately.

* * *

Epilogue

It had been three weeks since the events at Muskrat Farm.

The weather had turned from bad to worse and Hannibal feared that the winter would be rough on the inhabitants of the small cabin. Christmas was upon them and the temperature had dropped drastically, leaving the air crisp and cold with a promise of snow. The isolation worried him. A blizzard could cut them off from the small town nearby and in their position; they couldn't call for help over the radio, fearing exposure to the authorities. Instead he found himself stocking up the pantry with provisions that could last them several months. He'd placed an order in the small grocery store for baby formula, despite the fact that Clarice had started breastfeeding again last week. If there was one thing Hannibal wouldn't risk; it was starvation.

It was dark outside and the clouds covered the night sky, denying any light through. Hannibal balanced several logs in his arms as he pushed open the door to the cottage with his foot and kicked it close behind him. The logs went into the wicker basket by the entrance and he took off his shoes before he stepped further in. He heard the sound of Alexandria's soft baby noises and walked over to the couch, where Clarice was sitting, holding the tiny being up and letting her stretch her legs. Hannibal sat down beside her and kissed her lightly on the cheek.

"She isn't tired yet…" Clarice observed as the child gave a toothless grin.

"It will come." Hannibal closed his eyes as he made himself comfortable on the couch. They'd just eaten and he felt the natural tiredness of having a full stomach which he enjoyed wholeheartedly. They sat there for a while in silence. Alexandria's soft sounds were the only thing that could be heard except for their breathing. There was no watch in the house that told them of the flow of time and no traffic outside reminded them of the passing of life. Eventually, Clarice's arms tired and she held the child close, letting her nestle against her mother's chest. Hannibal watched through half opened eyes as the infant started nodding to prevent sleep, before she finally gave up and closed her blue eyes. Clarice rose from her seat and placed the baby in the wooden box that had become her crib.

Hannibal opened his arms as she sat down again and placed her head on his chest, breathing in his scent. He kissed the top of her head and watched as she looked up, catching his lips. With closed eyes; he leaned in and felt her mouth against his. Her lips were soft and wet and he felt his body comply to the situation as his pants started to become tight. It was with a sigh of regret that he broke off the kiss and leaned his forehead against hers.

"It's late." He whispered. "We should get some sleep before Alexandria wakes up again."

"Sure." He felt Clarice lean away from him and he watched over the back of the couch as she left the room and closed the bedroom door behind her.

Hannibal started unbuttoning his shirt and folded it neatly before placing it on the small coffee table where Alexandria's crib also stood. He took off his pants, turned off the lights and was just about to lay down when he heard the door open behind him. Clarice was standing in one of his shirts with nothing underneath. She went forward, walking around the couch until they stood only inches apart. He could see her milky white skin in the light from the fireplace and he felt a sudden urge to reach out and touch her to see if it was as smooth as it looked. Instead, he stood still and waited for her to speak.

"Are you sure, you want to sleep on the couch?"

Any other man would have jumped at the chance, but Hannibal held still despite the fact that every nerve in his body had just become hypersensitive. He reached out his hand slowly and undid the first button on her shirt, exposing her wounded shoulder. He'd taken off the bandage a week ago and it had healed nicely. The scar looked red and new, but as he brushed his fingers over it; it wasn't pain that she reacted with, but something else. The scent of arousal reached his nose and he shifted uncomfortably as his member reacted. There was nothing to hide his own arousal with as he stood there in a t-shirt and boxers, examining Clarice like he would any other patient.

"Do you feel any discomfort?" He found himself asking.

"No…" She shook her head and stepped closer as she minimized the gap between them. "The bed was made for two and you won't hurt my shoulder anymore. There's no reason for you to sleep on the couch."

"You make a convincing argument." Hannibal lifted his hand from her shoulder and placed it on her cheek. It wasn't as if he didn't know that he could have joined her in bed a week ago, but he was afraid of what would happen. Firstly, her shoulder had to heal properly, but she was also still healing from childbirth and he didn't want to put her in a position where one of them would end up feeling frustrated or rejected.

Besides, he needed her to come to him and now she'd done so.

* * *

Hannibal came to her slowly.

Clarice felt his arms around her as he came nearer. He held her close as he breathed in the scent of her hair and her neck. As he let his tongue run over her quickening pulse, Clarice felt a shiver run down her spine. He nuzzled his nose over her collarbone and let go of her as he started undoing the last buttons on her shirt. It fell to the floor and she stood naked before him.

"You're beautiful…" He whispered in a low voice as he let his eyes wander over her body. Slowly, he lifted his right hand and let his fingers touch her skin. They ran over her nose, cheek and mouth, dipping lower to touch her neck, shoulders and finally her breasts as her nipples hardened to his touch. Suddenly, he grabbed her with both hands and lifted her into his arms. She fought not to let out a gasp of surprise as she remembered that Alex was sleeping right beside them. Hannibal carried her into the bedroom and closed the door behind them. Softly, he lowered her body to the bed.

"Are you sure, you want this?" He asked as he leaned over her. His words reminded her of their first time together. She realized that it was almost a year since the events in Jame Gumb's cellar and she found herself nodding without hesitation.

As they were lying beside each other; Hannibal's hands were suddenly everywhere and she found herself groaning into his mouth as he caught her lips with his. This was completely different from the last time. It was as if they had all the time in the world. There were no dead bodies upstairs or starving girls in pits. She helped him take off his white t-shirt and felt his naked chest flush against hers. His hand went lower and stopped by her knees, urging them to part for him. Clarice spread her legs slowly and felt him move closer. Suddenly, he rolled on top of her and placed himself between her legs. Feeling his heavy frame over hers made her feel safe in a way that she hadn't felt safe since she was a little girl. His eyes were on hers and she felt the intensity of his dark gaze. There was hardly any light in here, but she could still make out his maroon eyes as they shone red for a split second.

"I love you Clarice." He said and nuzzled her neck with his nose.

"And I love you Hannibal."

As the words left her mouth, she felt his hand reach down and touch her in her most sensitive place. He ran a finger over the folds and over the small mound that sent shivers through her body. When he let the first finger slip into her, she felt a small noise of contentment leave her lips. Another one soon followed and only a few seconds passed before she found herself begging him to stop.

"Hannibal." She whispered into his ear. "It's too soon. I'm coming. It's too soon."

He stopped as soon as he'd started and kissed her temple softly. "You want to wait?"

"Yes…" Her breath was short and her voice was low. She felt his lips brush over every inch of skin on her body as she tried to calm down a bit. As her heart was forced to slow down, she spoke into his neck. "It's better now."

"Wait…"

Clarice nearly groaned as she felt him lift off her and rise from the bed.

"What is it?" She found herself asking as he opened the door to the other room. She saw his erection in the light that slipped in through the crack from the fireplace and swallowed hard. He glanced back at her with an apology.

"I'm sure you'll appreciate my finding a condom."

She had to hide a smirk as he left the room only to come back seconds later, already applying the thins fabric to his hard member. He lowered himself onto the bed once more and kissed her as he positioned himself between her legs. She knew that it was just as long since he'd had sex as it was for her and she wasn't surprised when he stilled before pushing into her. The tip of his cock was touching her wet folds and she felt his breath against her neck. He lifted himself up a bit and their eyes met.

Then he pushed in.

He did it slowly, letting her adjust around him as he drew himself out as soon as he'd progressed another inch. After a few seconds, Clarice could feel his full length inside her. She knew that it felt different for him this time than it had done all those months ago, but his breath was just as deep as hers as they moved together and she knew that childbirth had not changed a thing for him.

It didn't take long for her to reach the same place that she'd been in only a few minutes ago. The muscles in her abdomen started to tighten and her heart raced against her chest. Hannibal shifted position, disrupting it for a second. He hovered above her as he moved his hips, looking directly into her eyes. Clarice couldn't hold it anymore. She let out a small, soft noise and then another. Her muscles tightened and her eyes went wide. Hannibal was watching her silently. He kept the rhythm and Clarice felt his eyes on her as she became undone. Her whole body pulsated as she peaked and she felt Hannibal move faster until he suddenly halted. He drew out slowly and went in again as his whole frame shook with pleasure above her. He did it a few more times until he let himself fall on top of her and become heavy. Their breaths mingled as he kissed her and after a few seconds, he drew himself out of her and rolled over.

Clarice turned her head and saw him stare at her through the darkness. He reached out and drew her close, burying his face in her hair.

"I thought about something…" He said out of breath.

"What?"

"You should be on the pill…"

"Oh…" If Clarice could blush anymore, she would have, as the implications of his words became clear to her. "Could you…?"

"I'll drive into town tomorrow." She could hear his voice become thick with fatigue and she knew that he would fall asleep within a few moments. His breath evened out and she closed her eyes, letting herself become heavy in his arms.

Clarice fell asleep, breathing in the scent of Hannibal and hoping that they would never have to part again.

* * *

Hannibal woke at the sound of Alexandria crying. He felt Clarice move in his arms, but he tightened his grip, holding her still.

"Hannibal, let go of me. Alex is awake." She struggled against him and he opened his eyes with a sigh. Having slept on the couch, he was the one who'd gotten up every night to take care of the child and having slept for years with insane people had made it easy for him to live with a disrupted sleep pattern. Knowing that it was his daughter who needed his attention and not some rapist masturbating in the dead of night, made it quite enjoyable to get up.

"I'll get her." He whispered into her ear.

"Thanks."

He rose from the bed and walked across the room, feeling the chill from the cold floorboards. The fire was dying in the next room and before he tended to the crying infant, he placed a few split logs on the embers. It would take care of itself, he thought as he went to the wooden box on the coffee table. Alexandria's little faced was scrunched up in discomfort as she cried her lungs out. Hannibal reached down and picked her up swiftly, placing her in the crook of his neck.

Alexandria's crying continued for a while before it turned into hiccups. He shushed her quietly and felt her tiny fists bump against his back and shoulder as she tried out her muscles. Finally, she quieted down and he checked her diaper. It was clean and it meant that she had to be hungry. As he went to the kitchen and started to prepare a bottle of formula, he heard Clarice's footsteps behind him. Her arms went around his waist and he felt her forehead rest against his back where she could keep eye contact with Alexandria.

"You should sleep." He told her as he turned on the gas stove.

"I wanted to see how you were doing."

"Don't you trust me?" He asked with amusement.

"No." She whispered and kissed his neck.

"You hurt my feelings Clarice."

"No." She said again, her lips turning into a smile.

Hannibal remained quiet as he felt her breath against his neck. Alexandria was trying to lift her head from his shoulder and his heart swelled as he felt Clarice's body against his.

"I think I'm happy." He spoke and he felt Clarice stop the movement of her lips.

"So am I." She said and Hannibal smiled only to speak again:

"Yes, I'm most definitely happy."

_**THE END**_

**A/N: **

**Wow… I did it. I actually finished a story. **

**There is only one continuity mistake in this chapter that I'm aware of and it's what happened with the condom when they finished. Since it was Clarice's POV, we'll never know what Hannibal did, but I imagine that he either fell asleep with it on (sounds uncomfortable) or took it off and threw it on the floor (a bit more likely, and no, he's not the type to slip on it the next morning). **

**I felt that I owed you a sex scene since I started with one. They're quite fun to write so I don't really mind xD **

**I wanted to split this chapter into two; the climax and the epilogue, but it seemed ridiculous to post two short chapters where people might not even bother to read the last. Instead it became this.**

**I hope you've enjoyed the ride as much as I have. I feel that I've grown as a writer and that I've come very far since the jumpy start. I'm not sure when you'll hear from me again, but I still have a story or two to tell within the universe created by Thomas Harris. **

**Thanks for all the reviews and all the encouragement!**

**You've made this story possible.**

**Firebolt**


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